The Real Truth
Before anything else...I wanna wish...
A Happy Valentine's Day!!
I spent the night 'celebrating' this event napping on the couch on top of my big black handbag and a stack of papers from two days ago because I was too freaking tired to clear them. Though Im not posted to somewhere far this time for the past few days for my field work, well I have my share of late nighters and I predict tonight will be one of those nights. I want to say that I suffer from imsomnia, it will probably be not one of those chronic cases because I dont have trouble falling asleep compared to back then during my 'honeymoon' period when I was not working while awaiting for THE day to start work.
Anyhoo, whether or not I take a quick nap, like what Mariah says, Valentine's Day can be so overrated at times. Sure, it is a celebration of love but it doesnt equate to spending so much freaking money. A picnic, anyone?
I dont know if it's just me or what but the valentine's day celebration this time has been a little quiet. Honestly, I dont really see many couples walking around with huge bouquets but just basically screaming excited bunch of girls carrying..say..a bag of flowers in stalks probably given by schoolmates who are merely celebrating friendship day. I only know they were pretty annoying when they gather together and making so much noise in the already small and cramped bus stop that my colleagues and I were practically standing behind the ad shelter to so called save our ears. This young colleague of mine was like saying that this is an all girls' school so they probably just get these flowers from their female classmates so whats the big deal with the noise?! Haha...
Talking about my colleague, well she's celebrating this year's Valentine's Day with a new boyfriend but in her own words, he's in 'lock up'...in other words...army camp.
Oh, about my previous entry, yup..my interview with MOE was successful (finally! no more of that yearly trip to the headquarters for any interviews..getting tired already). But I still have to make that one trip again next week to sign the relevant documents which they called it as AF or *something* formalities. ..if Im not wrong. Not very good with abbreviations..or big words.
So...my experience with a private company lasts all of one month and a half only before toiling back for the govt again. The only setback is that my pay will be slightly lesser since a ministry isn't exactly a profit making company. But it's also slightly lesser by twenty dollars plus than the one I earned at HPB which is the only downside I found. I could only attribute to two factors of which one of them is because I will be under probation so it makes sense to lower the salary a bit like that before increasing it after a year of service and good conduct with them. Another one is because HPB is a statutory board of which it is independent from the ministry but it gets grants for their projects so the pay is different.
Still whatever it is, like what my colleague pointed out, at least it's not a big difference like one hundred or two hundred over dollars. And another thing (which I failed to see earlier), I dont have to travel a lot anymore so I will be saving money in transport costs and therefore it will not be to a disadvantage for me.
Because of the rapport I have with my current colleagues, whether I know them for a few years already or from last year only, they have expressed their concerns that they are very sad about it yet happy for me. So far I only told my team members and another team and even though they feel happy for me, I realised that they didnt really want to talk about me leaving because they said they're pretty sensitive about it. We are like family already so it's really difficult for us to let go of the bond formed throughout the years through thick and thin.
Gawd I sound so drama about it. This colleague of mine who only joined us this week but I had worked with her at HPB last year before she was deployed to the nurses' school team was like really sad about it. She said that she looked forward to working with this company because she enjoys working with us based on her experience last year and especially with me. And she was like..why do I have to go when she just joined. So I had a heart to heart talk with her just now..of all places..in the library...that it's something I have to do and I've been wanting a change for so long. Frankly speaking I dont hate this job and the current arrangements (except maybe..the higher probability of having to work with certain colleagues that I have gleefully avoided the last few years). But she was like....they are going to rearrange what..and it's going to be better. Uhm, understandable lah I have to do a lot of explaining to her because she's only 21 so you know the deal.
Anyway, I said that well....after doing something so specialized and pretty simple for the last five years, it can be tiring. Besides, this current job is so specialized that I have been trying to find other jobs before but to no avail. Besides, I dont even have any formal qualification in it but a measely piece of paper stating that I completed their training which is based on my current work only. Unlike her, she has her training in nursing so it's not going to be difficult for her to find a job. Im no optometrist or optician..yet, Im doing vision screening. Neither do they think that we are capable of doing something else because our job is that specialized. People can make the assumption easily and quickly dismiss me as such without a second thought on whether I should make the cut and Im not surprised if I dont. Even MOE was pretty sceptical about it too and had to call back once again to check through if I ever do admin work in this line.
My other ex colleagues, when they find a job outside, i can tell you they got the job mostly not because they worked in this department. They got it because of experience working prior to joining HPB. For example, one worked before as a patients associate in the KKH and despite working with us for five years also, she found a job at another hospital only because she had experience working in one before. The more recent one also found a job in an accounting firm also because of prior experience before HPB when she worked for a similar firm.
For me, I dont have anything to fall back on except a short stint at the revenue house, all of two months, so to me when granted with this opportunity, you think I want to back off from it? Hell no. It took me five years of working experience before people think seriously of my working capabilities. Even this depends on luck because they can only shortlist a number of people and despite the HR department of my previous employer setting a shoutout that they have a few staffs who are interested, it is up to them if they want to interview us or not.
So, whether to this girl or to my other long term colleagues, I already told them that I dont hate this job or the vastly difference working environment compared to the 'cushy' HPB. We had staff who left declaring us off as sworn enemies and seeing us as 'losers' still stuck in that department. Serious. It's like they dont want to have ANYTHING to do with us or this department like as if their years of working with HPB dont bring food to the table or put their children through education.
Like what my mum says, why the heck they want to be jealous of my pay or my slightly higher post than them? It's good enough they are still earning money and if they are unhappy, go upgrade themselves lah. Why put other people down? I told my mum that I am upset about it at times when I get hurtful remarks behind my back or even infront of me. I hear things like...oh..she has A level but she's doing a job of an O level...and also..'oh, im not that smart like you because I only have O level..so what do I know'. I dont segregate myself from them because despite the brouhaha over my qualification, Im still nothing compared to them when it comes to experience.
Plus, when they ask my help very often which sometimes frustrate me because Im the type of person if you dont at least try and work things out first, dont bother asking help so fast (which I try to instil in my brother), I dont refuse them point blank. Even though I find myself on repeat mode and guiding them through every freaking small step which I think they are capable of but simply too lazy to think through, I dont scream at them like I do to my brother.
I treat them with respect partly because they are older than me so you see how it goes if the very same people say hurtful things about me? Of course i feel hurt but i bear no hard feelings towards them.
My mum doesnt like my colleagues that much because of the backstabbing and the jealousy they have among one another. She does like one colleague of mine only throughout the years because she's the only one who doesnt bear these trademarks and she always have wise things to say, and funny ones as well, in even the most serious situations.
So you see where Im going? I really really am nervous about this change of job because it's going to be something brand new to me and a culture shock. But I know it's for the better and it's more stable unlike the current one which is project-based and dont know how long it can pull through because this company is only in it because they think it has the potential to make money. But what if it doesnt because obviously, there is no such thing as trial test and they're just jumping in it and see how it goes.
Oh well....at least now I dont have to worry about the uncertainty anymore and yet again, I thank God for answering my prayer for that much needed change in my life.
A Happy Valentine's Day!!
I spent the night 'celebrating' this event napping on the couch on top of my big black handbag and a stack of papers from two days ago because I was too freaking tired to clear them. Though Im not posted to somewhere far this time for the past few days for my field work, well I have my share of late nighters and I predict tonight will be one of those nights. I want to say that I suffer from imsomnia, it will probably be not one of those chronic cases because I dont have trouble falling asleep compared to back then during my 'honeymoon' period when I was not working while awaiting for THE day to start work.
Anyhoo, whether or not I take a quick nap, like what Mariah says, Valentine's Day can be so overrated at times. Sure, it is a celebration of love but it doesnt equate to spending so much freaking money. A picnic, anyone?
I dont know if it's just me or what but the valentine's day celebration this time has been a little quiet. Honestly, I dont really see many couples walking around with huge bouquets but just basically screaming excited bunch of girls carrying..say..a bag of flowers in stalks probably given by schoolmates who are merely celebrating friendship day. I only know they were pretty annoying when they gather together and making so much noise in the already small and cramped bus stop that my colleagues and I were practically standing behind the ad shelter to so called save our ears. This young colleague of mine was like saying that this is an all girls' school so they probably just get these flowers from their female classmates so whats the big deal with the noise?! Haha...
Talking about my colleague, well she's celebrating this year's Valentine's Day with a new boyfriend but in her own words, he's in 'lock up'...in other words...army camp.
Oh, about my previous entry, yup..my interview with MOE was successful (finally! no more of that yearly trip to the headquarters for any interviews..getting tired already). But I still have to make that one trip again next week to sign the relevant documents which they called it as AF or *something* formalities. ..if Im not wrong. Not very good with abbreviations..or big words.
So...my experience with a private company lasts all of one month and a half only before toiling back for the govt again. The only setback is that my pay will be slightly lesser since a ministry isn't exactly a profit making company. But it's also slightly lesser by twenty dollars plus than the one I earned at HPB which is the only downside I found. I could only attribute to two factors of which one of them is because I will be under probation so it makes sense to lower the salary a bit like that before increasing it after a year of service and good conduct with them. Another one is because HPB is a statutory board of which it is independent from the ministry but it gets grants for their projects so the pay is different.
Still whatever it is, like what my colleague pointed out, at least it's not a big difference like one hundred or two hundred over dollars. And another thing (which I failed to see earlier), I dont have to travel a lot anymore so I will be saving money in transport costs and therefore it will not be to a disadvantage for me.
Because of the rapport I have with my current colleagues, whether I know them for a few years already or from last year only, they have expressed their concerns that they are very sad about it yet happy for me. So far I only told my team members and another team and even though they feel happy for me, I realised that they didnt really want to talk about me leaving because they said they're pretty sensitive about it. We are like family already so it's really difficult for us to let go of the bond formed throughout the years through thick and thin.
Gawd I sound so drama about it. This colleague of mine who only joined us this week but I had worked with her at HPB last year before she was deployed to the nurses' school team was like really sad about it. She said that she looked forward to working with this company because she enjoys working with us based on her experience last year and especially with me. And she was like..why do I have to go when she just joined. So I had a heart to heart talk with her just now..of all places..in the library...that it's something I have to do and I've been wanting a change for so long. Frankly speaking I dont hate this job and the current arrangements (except maybe..the higher probability of having to work with certain colleagues that I have gleefully avoided the last few years). But she was like....they are going to rearrange what..and it's going to be better. Uhm, understandable lah I have to do a lot of explaining to her because she's only 21 so you know the deal.
Anyway, I said that well....after doing something so specialized and pretty simple for the last five years, it can be tiring. Besides, this current job is so specialized that I have been trying to find other jobs before but to no avail. Besides, I dont even have any formal qualification in it but a measely piece of paper stating that I completed their training which is based on my current work only. Unlike her, she has her training in nursing so it's not going to be difficult for her to find a job. Im no optometrist or optician..yet, Im doing vision screening. Neither do they think that we are capable of doing something else because our job is that specialized. People can make the assumption easily and quickly dismiss me as such without a second thought on whether I should make the cut and Im not surprised if I dont. Even MOE was pretty sceptical about it too and had to call back once again to check through if I ever do admin work in this line.
My other ex colleagues, when they find a job outside, i can tell you they got the job mostly not because they worked in this department. They got it because of experience working prior to joining HPB. For example, one worked before as a patients associate in the KKH and despite working with us for five years also, she found a job at another hospital only because she had experience working in one before. The more recent one also found a job in an accounting firm also because of prior experience before HPB when she worked for a similar firm.
For me, I dont have anything to fall back on except a short stint at the revenue house, all of two months, so to me when granted with this opportunity, you think I want to back off from it? Hell no. It took me five years of working experience before people think seriously of my working capabilities. Even this depends on luck because they can only shortlist a number of people and despite the HR department of my previous employer setting a shoutout that they have a few staffs who are interested, it is up to them if they want to interview us or not.
So, whether to this girl or to my other long term colleagues, I already told them that I dont hate this job or the vastly difference working environment compared to the 'cushy' HPB. We had staff who left declaring us off as sworn enemies and seeing us as 'losers' still stuck in that department. Serious. It's like they dont want to have ANYTHING to do with us or this department like as if their years of working with HPB dont bring food to the table or put their children through education.
Like what my mum says, why the heck they want to be jealous of my pay or my slightly higher post than them? It's good enough they are still earning money and if they are unhappy, go upgrade themselves lah. Why put other people down? I told my mum that I am upset about it at times when I get hurtful remarks behind my back or even infront of me. I hear things like...oh..she has A level but she's doing a job of an O level...and also..'oh, im not that smart like you because I only have O level..so what do I know'. I dont segregate myself from them because despite the brouhaha over my qualification, Im still nothing compared to them when it comes to experience.
Plus, when they ask my help very often which sometimes frustrate me because Im the type of person if you dont at least try and work things out first, dont bother asking help so fast (which I try to instil in my brother), I dont refuse them point blank. Even though I find myself on repeat mode and guiding them through every freaking small step which I think they are capable of but simply too lazy to think through, I dont scream at them like I do to my brother.
I treat them with respect partly because they are older than me so you see how it goes if the very same people say hurtful things about me? Of course i feel hurt but i bear no hard feelings towards them.
My mum doesnt like my colleagues that much because of the backstabbing and the jealousy they have among one another. She does like one colleague of mine only throughout the years because she's the only one who doesnt bear these trademarks and she always have wise things to say, and funny ones as well, in even the most serious situations.
So you see where Im going? I really really am nervous about this change of job because it's going to be something brand new to me and a culture shock. But I know it's for the better and it's more stable unlike the current one which is project-based and dont know how long it can pull through because this company is only in it because they think it has the potential to make money. But what if it doesnt because obviously, there is no such thing as trial test and they're just jumping in it and see how it goes.
Oh well....at least now I dont have to worry about the uncertainty anymore and yet again, I thank God for answering my prayer for that much needed change in my life.
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