Nice Start to the Week

Heya,

hrm..it's nice to hear someone thinks I have a nice face in the c box but the following remarks after that was pretty ambiguous so I dont quite know what it means. Anyway, I am happy today...my team was given the go ahead to 'go home' at freaking 12 o'clock in the afternoon! Wow, if every day life is like this, I dont want to quit this job. You know, being in a team where your working colleagues are a pleasure to work with, going to work in the morning can be a pleasant thing. I look forward to it every day. That or Im all psyched up after successfully covering my eye bags from a lack of sleep and looking fresh as if I just come out straight from the shower.

Talking about colleagues, I just want to drop a bit of bad news that I have a falling out with a colleague of mine which I had dubbed her before as a good friend. Unfortunately, I am slowing taking it all back, despite knowing her on good terms for the last five years. Like it or not, people change for the better or for worse. I dont want to recall the incident except to just blame it all on a simple misunderstanding but as I dive deeper into it, I realise that it is more than that. Yes, Mariah called me a wimp for crying over it but Im crying not because I was upset but I was angry at how I was being treated which spelt nothing but 'childish and immature'. I thought this kind of thing only juveniles will do but apparently, Im wrong and Im back to feeling all awful like how I used to feel back then and they're not exactly worth revisiting.

To cut the story short, even if I am going to be on speaking terms with her, I guess things have definitely changed. Between me and Mariah, we have called her unpleasant names and I have made unpleasant remarks. This is a vast change from what I have deemed her to be and all the kind things I have said about her.

Sometimes, it is incidents like this that can make one realise what a fool one can be sometimes and who, among the friends, are the real gems.

Apart from that, my life has not exactly gone through some major changes. Uhm, except realising short looking blouses dont look good when worn with a rather puffy skirt. They will look better when wearing it with an A line skirt instead. Yes, my mum helped to make me realise my mistake because I can be so blinded with a bad fashion sense without even realising it. See, I dont call myself fashion impaired for nothing.

Oh, and another thing, I have begun to 'revisit' my very small collection of heels. I love shoes but Im not shoe-crazy. Why this sudden revisitation because I think wearing the same ol' pair of sandals dont do good to my feet in the long term and this bad habit of mine make my feet look like they're permanently 'stained' with tanlines. They are quite unsightly but easily corrected by varifying the shoes that I wear. I blogged recently about two new pairs of heels I bought recently and guess what? The shopping centre I frequent on weekends is having this CNY sales in the atrium and it is selling shoes from my fav band..URS! At less than 20 bucks! So..eurgh..'geram'! or so 'I-want-to-have-one!'

But, I cant always give in to my own personal demands especially if I have acquired the two new pairs recently. My mum saw it just now when I went there for the third time and she said it looked like the others that I already had. Such a party pooper. Still, she's right and I have to stop acting like a baby and move on with other important things in life...IF..I can get away from the image of the shoes in my head. I recently also saw a top from Dorothy Perkins selling at a mere 13 bucks! I can just grab and go without a blink of the eye but it does look suspiciously like a number of tops I already have in the wardrobe except for the colour and the end of the sleeves.

However, the bottom line is that, the money is best spent elsewhere instead. Haiz, it's always about THE family. Sometimes I do wish that I am not the sole breadwinner of the family. But it's already written in my fate whether I like it or not and as much as I struggle with this role sometimes, it does give me room to breathe and make me more mature beyond my age by placing more emphasis on the important things in life . Hrmph, Im talking about a certain SOMEONE of my age who recently threw a tantrum.

Plus the fact that Im taking care of my brother who is getting a bit more demanding nowadays because he's growing up to be a teenager. He is a bit upset that he cant get a new phone to replace his current one or why cant he get to buy certain devices to make his experimentations based on what he learnt on the net. To me, it's all empty talk and he knows Im not paying attention which makes him more frustrated. I told him that the value in US dollars is way different from ours and over here, it will cost much more. He then realises that Im not kidding (unlike my usual self whenever he asks me questions and Im too lazy to answer and just drop any silly things in my head) when he saw the prices at a certain computer shop.

See, that boy is becoming a techno geek but he must know this is an expensive hobby which I cannot afford. Although initially I was upset he was not recruited into the Infocomm Club because I know he is capable, maybe it was a blessing in disguise. Since he was already in art club in primary school, I guess that was why he was recruited into the Art and Photography Club instead and of which he chose Art as the main co-curricular activity because I had already warned him that I was not going to buy him a new camera just for that. I thought that he was just going to ignore me like he always do but then, he did listen this time.

Okay, frankly speaking, I did want to buy a camera the beginning of this year but dropped this idea because I thought it is not of necessity right now. I dont know....nowadays, my thinking is often geared into thinking about the future for my family like if there is going to be food on the table every single day. No doubt Im still working and supporting the family with the monthly salary but in Singapore right now, everything is more expensive than they used to be.

Sadly, because of this expensive lifestyle of ours, many people chose to be single as having a family in the future is not easy. To me, I have a few reasons why I am not putting myself on the chopping block of marriage right now but definitely, that is one of the reasons too. It may be easier to fall in love, get married and have a family but how long are we able to sustain the family because very soon the children are going to get demanding and everything is going to be so costly. I dont think they will like it if you keep on denying what they want.

Even my brother, of whom I give ten bucks every month after my pay complains that in secondary life, I need to double that. Now before you call me a stingy and mean sister to him because I give so little, I am already supporting him in other aspects like his transport and his pre paid card for his handphone. Plus, that boy doesnt even buy food or drinks in school and so far, that ten bucks I give him goes towards buying stationery goods like exercise books that dont quite cost much.


Okay, I understand his stand about his pocket money and I try to accomodate to it. The problem is that it still doesnt change that we come from a single income family. I will see what I can do about it when I get my pay next week in full instead of the partial one I got last week from one week's worth of work.

All this thing is giving me a headache. All I need is a good rest right now, physically and mentally, before going into telly mode at ten watching an episode of Heroes.

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