Empowered
helo..
finally some free time to blog...that is until my mum comes knocking on the door. Well, hows life been for me. Cruel at times but I do have some sun shiny moments too. Like yesterday, as I was sitting in the front of a seat of a bus..the kind of long seat facing directly opposite the former farecard ticketing machine (thats a preetty long description) with my load of groceries and food, I saw this guy boarding. You will probably think Im weird that within that five minutes that he boarded the bus, he just had to stand directly opposite me. I figured that he was waiting for the bus to stop moving so that he could find a seat. But even when the bus stopped at the next stop, he didnt move. You see, the minute he boarded the bus, I was trying to control myself from grinning. Now this, does not happen all the time...for a guy to put a silly grin on my face. Okay so I noticed the body first and boy does he fit the description well-O! QUite hunky and he has a nice skin colour and nice hair in a messy do form...a little on the short side (the height..not the hair), and handsome! Alright, so I just took a quick sec to look at his face and can easily decipher that he's good looking.
But there's a catch..
He's not Chinese. Okay so I know whats the big deal about this like since..hellooo..Im not even Chinese. Hrm, when it comes to guys, I have this preferential thing going on. Trust me, Im not against my own race.....I thought that some are..err...good looking. But seriously, the good looking ones? Yah the minahs got them...or rather, they are so easily victimized by the minahs.
Honestly, I dont think the guy is Malay either. He could be Eurasian too. He looks like one of the actors in this lame drama on channel 5..who I reckon is Eurasian too. NO I did not move on to Eurasians lah...but that would mean some move..heh...But bottom line is, what if a guy strikes you in your face, no matter what race...what religion....what age....and would you equate that to love at first sight? Well, of course wherever we go, we tend to bump into hot guys but what about those that catches you fancy straight away leaving you no room to breathe coz he just strikes you hard like a hot iron.You just dont know where to put your face, how you should sit and if your hair is in an utter mess.
For me, yesterday I was so not glam. I feel like a mother and a wife who just finished grocery shopping for her family. What..a major turn off. But heck, even if Im not in my so called motherly mode, I would probably dismiss him as some guy who is too good a catch for me.
But what does that make me out to be? That Im someone of a B grade? I dont deserve someone who is as good looking and physically pleasing as him? What sort of guys should I go for? A b grader as well? How could I think of myself as that low?! I've always thought that we, as women, deserve better even if most of us go against the typical A class woman who can make men go all weak in the knees. Okay, you know what. Let's put a stop to this classification of women. There IS no such thing! But it is human nature to amplify our flaws rather than our better traits and it's hard not to feel yucky about ourselves. Why dont we start thinking the other way round such as the men feeling that they are losing out a potential love interest just coz they are not 'open' enough to ask for our number because we're....too good for them?
But if you're thinking that will NEVER happen, see...we're in loser mode again. The first rule of being a women, whether we're young or matured, is to feel good about ourselves. If we start feeling good about ourselves, then others will see through that and want to get to know us better. We dont feel sorry about ourselves that it's better that we perish from the face of universe.
It's easier said than done..us trying to feel all empowered and being in control of ourselves and the next minute, we totally slack. NOt easy I tell ya. But if you want any comforting thought, here's the thing. Even those high flying women who are financially independent and has a great career, inside..they may not be happy. They always end up with the wrong men who treat them like dirt even though they are able to provide them with pleasure inducing moments. One article I read, this woman even paid her estranged husband a thousand or two dollars to make him have sex with her. And then he's off to his mistress. We're talking about an intelligent woman here who will probably will do a heck lot better without him. But each time she is drawn to him because she doesnt have the confidence to move on to a guy who will probably treat her right.
Why?....
She feels that she is not good enough for other men. She thinks men in general are scared of her because of her position. She knows she's being taken advantage of especially if her husband demands that she gives him more because he either wants to spend money on his mistress or to recoup back the losses he made during his business ventures which flopped. She's a convenient atm machine for him. No money, no honey.
The good news is, she is out of the relationship. It was hard for her coz her husband made it difficult for her to get a divorce from him. In the end, she succeeded but she is still recovering slowly and is not open to meet other men yet although she is hopeful that one day, she will meet the right person.
Look, even supermodels have insecurity issues. The more voluptious ones think that they will look better if they were petite while the petite ones will think they look better if they were taller. So face it, we will never be happy if we keep let negatives cloud our minds. Turn the table around and make the men...want us purely based on our alluring sensuality and not based on what little clothes we're wearing. We want to attract handsome intelligent men...not hungry wolves.
So, let's be nice to ourselves. I know that it's not an easy journey for us to accept ourselves as who we are, chunky thighs and all. Based on personal experience, the best thing or the best 'gift' we can give ourselves is not a ruby or a diamond ring (that will be nice too lah..) but to make little subtle changes in our lives that up our tempo a bit so that we dont always feel that our hearts belong to the dumpster. I once felt that my shoulders were so huge that I make everyone else small....and I had problems with my shoulder blades which would ache badly five minutes into writing something. At that time, I had to write long essays and each essay would take me forty five minutes or more. Can you imagine how much pain and discomfort I was in?!
So...I made the change. I lifted weights and used those arm toning machines thrice a week and even though it would leave me with tired aching shoulders and initially I could not see a f**king difference, I stuck with it. I knew that it was driving my confidence away and I wanted it so badly that I persisted. All I remembered was that I didnt do it for a guy. I did it for myself.
Now my shoulders dont feel that heavy and the bonus thing about it is that my arms are also longer and leaner. They used to feel so 'stumpy' including my hands that holding a cup or a pencil were not an easy process for me. I would often drop the cup or bottles and spill the water coz I was not able to get a good grip coz my fingers were too fat.
I believe that we should not degrade ourselves. So if the guy is someone who dresses up well, whether casually or for a special occasion, while we look like a slob most times, I dont see the harm in changing our style to make it less sloppy and our confidence will soar to a higher level. Even if we dont get to know the guy or his heart belongs to someone else, it is little things like this that make us want to change for the better which to me is good because at least we dont keep on entertaining ourselves with negative thoughts. We just need that spark and if that spark comes in a form of a guy, so be it. See him as a bonus to improve ourselves rather than a future conquest.
So please.......let's treat ourselves with the respect that we deserve! Next time you see a cute guy and he doesnt look your way, just think...hrm....Im too good for him so it's his loss he doesnt look at me!! heh heh...or better yet...'awww..he's shy of me!!'
finally some free time to blog...that is until my mum comes knocking on the door. Well, hows life been for me. Cruel at times but I do have some sun shiny moments too. Like yesterday, as I was sitting in the front of a seat of a bus..the kind of long seat facing directly opposite the former farecard ticketing machine (thats a preetty long description) with my load of groceries and food, I saw this guy boarding. You will probably think Im weird that within that five minutes that he boarded the bus, he just had to stand directly opposite me. I figured that he was waiting for the bus to stop moving so that he could find a seat. But even when the bus stopped at the next stop, he didnt move. You see, the minute he boarded the bus, I was trying to control myself from grinning. Now this, does not happen all the time...for a guy to put a silly grin on my face. Okay so I noticed the body first and boy does he fit the description well-O! QUite hunky and he has a nice skin colour and nice hair in a messy do form...a little on the short side (the height..not the hair), and handsome! Alright, so I just took a quick sec to look at his face and can easily decipher that he's good looking.
But there's a catch..
He's not Chinese. Okay so I know whats the big deal about this like since..hellooo..Im not even Chinese. Hrm, when it comes to guys, I have this preferential thing going on. Trust me, Im not against my own race.....I thought that some are..err...good looking. But seriously, the good looking ones? Yah the minahs got them...or rather, they are so easily victimized by the minahs.
Honestly, I dont think the guy is Malay either. He could be Eurasian too. He looks like one of the actors in this lame drama on channel 5..who I reckon is Eurasian too. NO I did not move on to Eurasians lah...but that would mean some move..heh...But bottom line is, what if a guy strikes you in your face, no matter what race...what religion....what age....and would you equate that to love at first sight? Well, of course wherever we go, we tend to bump into hot guys but what about those that catches you fancy straight away leaving you no room to breathe coz he just strikes you hard like a hot iron.You just dont know where to put your face, how you should sit and if your hair is in an utter mess.
For me, yesterday I was so not glam. I feel like a mother and a wife who just finished grocery shopping for her family. What..a major turn off. But heck, even if Im not in my so called motherly mode, I would probably dismiss him as some guy who is too good a catch for me.
But what does that make me out to be? That Im someone of a B grade? I dont deserve someone who is as good looking and physically pleasing as him? What sort of guys should I go for? A b grader as well? How could I think of myself as that low?! I've always thought that we, as women, deserve better even if most of us go against the typical A class woman who can make men go all weak in the knees. Okay, you know what. Let's put a stop to this classification of women. There IS no such thing! But it is human nature to amplify our flaws rather than our better traits and it's hard not to feel yucky about ourselves. Why dont we start thinking the other way round such as the men feeling that they are losing out a potential love interest just coz they are not 'open' enough to ask for our number because we're....too good for them?
But if you're thinking that will NEVER happen, see...we're in loser mode again. The first rule of being a women, whether we're young or matured, is to feel good about ourselves. If we start feeling good about ourselves, then others will see through that and want to get to know us better. We dont feel sorry about ourselves that it's better that we perish from the face of universe.
It's easier said than done..us trying to feel all empowered and being in control of ourselves and the next minute, we totally slack. NOt easy I tell ya. But if you want any comforting thought, here's the thing. Even those high flying women who are financially independent and has a great career, inside..they may not be happy. They always end up with the wrong men who treat them like dirt even though they are able to provide them with pleasure inducing moments. One article I read, this woman even paid her estranged husband a thousand or two dollars to make him have sex with her. And then he's off to his mistress. We're talking about an intelligent woman here who will probably will do a heck lot better without him. But each time she is drawn to him because she doesnt have the confidence to move on to a guy who will probably treat her right.
Why?....
She feels that she is not good enough for other men. She thinks men in general are scared of her because of her position. She knows she's being taken advantage of especially if her husband demands that she gives him more because he either wants to spend money on his mistress or to recoup back the losses he made during his business ventures which flopped. She's a convenient atm machine for him. No money, no honey.
The good news is, she is out of the relationship. It was hard for her coz her husband made it difficult for her to get a divorce from him. In the end, she succeeded but she is still recovering slowly and is not open to meet other men yet although she is hopeful that one day, she will meet the right person.
Look, even supermodels have insecurity issues. The more voluptious ones think that they will look better if they were petite while the petite ones will think they look better if they were taller. So face it, we will never be happy if we keep let negatives cloud our minds. Turn the table around and make the men...want us purely based on our alluring sensuality and not based on what little clothes we're wearing. We want to attract handsome intelligent men...not hungry wolves.
So, let's be nice to ourselves. I know that it's not an easy journey for us to accept ourselves as who we are, chunky thighs and all. Based on personal experience, the best thing or the best 'gift' we can give ourselves is not a ruby or a diamond ring (that will be nice too lah..) but to make little subtle changes in our lives that up our tempo a bit so that we dont always feel that our hearts belong to the dumpster. I once felt that my shoulders were so huge that I make everyone else small....and I had problems with my shoulder blades which would ache badly five minutes into writing something. At that time, I had to write long essays and each essay would take me forty five minutes or more. Can you imagine how much pain and discomfort I was in?!
So...I made the change. I lifted weights and used those arm toning machines thrice a week and even though it would leave me with tired aching shoulders and initially I could not see a f**king difference, I stuck with it. I knew that it was driving my confidence away and I wanted it so badly that I persisted. All I remembered was that I didnt do it for a guy. I did it for myself.
Now my shoulders dont feel that heavy and the bonus thing about it is that my arms are also longer and leaner. They used to feel so 'stumpy' including my hands that holding a cup or a pencil were not an easy process for me. I would often drop the cup or bottles and spill the water coz I was not able to get a good grip coz my fingers were too fat.
I believe that we should not degrade ourselves. So if the guy is someone who dresses up well, whether casually or for a special occasion, while we look like a slob most times, I dont see the harm in changing our style to make it less sloppy and our confidence will soar to a higher level. Even if we dont get to know the guy or his heart belongs to someone else, it is little things like this that make us want to change for the better which to me is good because at least we dont keep on entertaining ourselves with negative thoughts. We just need that spark and if that spark comes in a form of a guy, so be it. See him as a bonus to improve ourselves rather than a future conquest.
So please.......let's treat ourselves with the respect that we deserve! Next time you see a cute guy and he doesnt look your way, just think...hrm....Im too good for him so it's his loss he doesnt look at me!! heh heh...or better yet...'awww..he's shy of me!!'
Comments