Not Angry and Frustated Anymore

I admit that I have been upset for the last few days when my mum decided to stay at my aunt's place and kept pressurizing me to get housecleaning service for my house before she comes back home. I guess I was frustrated at the fact that she won't come until I get someone to clean my house and I was like...since when does the cleanliness of the house has to do with her getting better? All she needs is a good rest to recover quickly but all she does is to think about when can the house be cleaned whenever I explain that they are not able to get a cleaner down the last few days because their schedule is already packed. 


So I was angry and frustrated and I felt also that I was not able to take care of her. But then this brother of mine die die wanted to make pretzels in the middle of the night when I told him that he can make on a freaking Saturday which was just the next day. So that's TWO people who had annoyed me. 


It was difficult but in the end, I realized that I would rather focus on doing other things to distract me while she's away from home. Guess what I did? I cleaned out the junks in my room. Well, I have a lot of junks accumulated over the years though they are not that recent because I realize I can only keep so much in my small bedroom. Although I could have easily done this if my mum is at home also, the thing is that she can be very fussy especially if I wipe any dusty areas for fear that I don't wash my hands properly and that instead of cleaning it properly, I spread the dirt around. Then whenever I throw out the junks, she is always afraid that I will throw out important things without checking. Because when I throw them out, I seriously throw them out. No 'if's' and no 'but's'...well, almost.


Then I also did my laundry and if she's around, Im sure she will keep checking and rechecking by asking me numerous times if I have washed them properly and added enough detergent. There's always something for her to nitpick on.


But ultimately, I should be thankful that a relative of mine volunteered to take care of my mum during her recovery period from surgery. She also bothers to cook extra rice for us and fry omelet for me and my brother to eat at night before fasting commences the next day. The thing is, at a time when people are getting more and more selfish, there are people out there who are still willing to lend a helping hand as an act of goodwill without asking for any return in kind.


Then again also, I know deep down my mum misses being back at home too. Like come on, as messy as your bedroom can be, or as dirty as your house can be, there's always this thing called 'home' where you just feel at ease without feeling you're intruding in someone else's privacy. Her current state of health does cause her some worries back home especially if I am out working and she's alone.


I still want her back home but I can't force her to come home. Only she knows when she's ready so I choose not to be angry and frustrated anymore and just pray for her recovery. 






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