"Living Each Single Day"

I have to be honest with you...I dont like the look of this new blogskin. Im used to creating my own skin design but of course with some help with the coding which I borrowed from another blogskin to save me from the headache. Basically, there is this thing called the personal touch. Anyway, I used a blogger template and played around with the colours and the widgets for the layout and that's it. I suppose few weeks down the road I may be tweaking the blogskin again. I shall see.

Wow, it's so great to get me bonus this month after a few months of dry spell because I didn't get the mid year bonus due to the bad economy. But by having a job with no hint of me getting booted off (unless I decide to screw things up accidentally), I should be more than thankful.

Hey there...

Sigh...it's really impossible sometimes to live under the same roof as my mother who can be so paranoid over little things and her number one grouch is toilet hygiene. She didn't just check to see if it's clean for the next person's use..what she does is nag and nag and nag based on her freakin' assumption that it is not clean. Im not about to be an ultimate clean freak like her when it comes to toilet hygiene. When she's in there, she takes ages to come out and believe it or not, there will also be times that when she comes out, she will have this amnesiac reaction like whether did she really clean after herself or not. And that is her talking after a freaking half an hour of usage! And then she will complain later that it is my fault for not paying the water bills where in fact I did. But if I were to pay all of the charges, I will have nothing left of the money to use for other purposes, for example, my own survival? I don't have a problem with electri...

OH mY Gosh...

Ah sucks sucks sucks...today really sucked at work. My boss was like totally blasting me for not doing the job that she gave me properly. She said if I was not sure I should be asking her. I think she kinda caught herself off guard for a bit that she did not ask me to process the financial assistance forms but before she anticipated me saying that she did not told me to do so, so instead she said that I should have asked her. How would I know she gave me the authority to process. I only followed what I did last year which was to collect the forms given and checked that the they gave the supporting documents and that they were earning at or below the income ceiling. I merely collated the documents and didnt exactly do a thorough check and every time I asked her about the documents that they submitted, she kept saying that I should collate first and pass it to her as a whole later. And now she is saying I did not ask her. Chet. And now it's become my fault that I didn't ask if I...

I am happy that I get to spend my time fruitfully today. I even attended a wedding of an ex colleague. She knew the guy for like about a year and after a series of bad relationships, I am happy for her that she found happiness. But she didn't really seem happy just now..even snapping a bit at me..for passing the envelope of token money to her instead of her mother. I mean, that has always been my practice coz I don't know her mum compared to her and it's often the case I know the bride better and they had never told me off like that in the past. Anyway, whatever. Maybe something had pissed her off..and knowing how she gets pissed off quite easily, it's not really a big surprise if something..or someone...did indeed piss her off. Im not here to speculate although I do suspect maybe she's not happy that there were some people who didn't turn up..I dunno. Plus I didn't stay very long coz my other ex colleagues had to make a move and Im actually glad for that be...

Well, tonight is the last day of the pretty long weekend due to the public holiday on Friday. Oh before I forget, would like to wish a Selamat Hari Raya Haji to all muslims..or rather, those who actually celebrate it and not bumming around like me. So in two week's time, I will be getting my year end bonus and because of the slow picking up of the economy, it's not going to be much although the 13th month bonus is still there. It's just that there are no 'extra's like another month or at least a three quarter pay more. In fact, this is the lowest bonus payout in recent years for people in the civil service. My ex colleagues got their bonus somewhere in October and it was for three months. Im not trying to compare myself to them because in terms of job stability, I would say mine is more stable than theirs while for them, it depends largely on the company whether they need to continue with their service or not down the road. In light of job retrenchments and difficul...

I had a great time last weekend exploring a country that I had not visited in ages despite being our neighbouring country. Together with two other friends, I visited Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia for a shopping and holiday trip. To others who travel often, KL is like a quick getaway for them if they are not venturing that far off. But to me, it was an eye opening experience and what better to spend the time with but with the people who have been supportive and caring for you. Of course, that is not only the agenda. They want to get good bargains, something that is not that always possible in sunny Singapore. I admit I did not do any planning or exploration via the internet on the places I would be visiting when I went to KL. So I was thrown completely off when I arrived there and was initially scared of the experience especially seeing cars wheezing by and passengers crossing carelessly every now and then. Despite being a city, the bustling crowds were filled with people of different personal...

It's just so beautiful when someone you like holds your hand in public. To me, it's the simplest yet so heartfelt gesture. I have been watching video clips of the US drama called Kings for the last few days and was like wondering aloud (meaning: my brother in the same room can hear) about how I wish they would show this drama on Singapore tv and they are!! THEY ARE!!! Even though it is not the mainstream tv but on cable instead, it's still okay for me. I am so excited! But at the same time, Im just a bit scared of watching coz even though Sebastian Stan as the emotionally tortured Prince Jack is so gripping and so exciting to watch (he is really into the character), I guess I will be overwhelmed by it. And another concern is that, the writing isn't exactly top notch. Plus the lead character is totally bland. It's like someone put him there only because he is blond and not because he can act. It's a drama about power struggle and the King chose a soldier who save...

Im really really upset over the turn of events earlier today and Im really really sorry I had caused the misery of my family. Although my mum is better now, and even chatting and telling me stories when I came back home which I actually dislike coz they are often repeated stories, but Im just contented she is back to her usual chatty self. It's totally my fault. I totally forgot to make an earlier payment for the power supplies with my own savings first but I delayed and delayed it until they came to cut off the electricity. Because of that, my mother who gets very restless without the fan, will call me every now and then at work to complain and to make me call the people repeatedly to get the supply back on again. This was despite me paying the amount requested immediately because I didn't want to cause them any discomfort. It's really a pain in the ass when Im just asking for a simple request for an urgent reconnection explaining my family situation each and every time I ...

One of the things I have to endure in this household is my mum's incoherent speech about she regrets having us and especially my brother because we're nothing but burden. Like as if we create havoc in this family. She obviously has not seen or heard how other families have bigger problems than her. But that's just her. Basically if she knows also, she will always refer to her 'plight' as being worse off than others and that they are in that state because they have brought it upon themselves. Where else for her, her misery was brought unto her. Oh well..whatever. I dont want to get into squabbles with her because it's really no point as I will stand to lose. Her recent accusation towards me is that she thinks that I am cold hearted towards them because I didnt buy them their food when I went to a particular shop in Geylang where I would buy the popiah which is one of my favourite snacks coz they are not deep fried and the filling is quite a lot. But more importan...

It's a brand new month of November and hopefully, I get a better hold of my life. I have been disappointed with myself lately because I have not been performing my part well towards my family. What could have been avoided, I chose to be all slack about it and only managed to pull together at the last minute but alas, it was not enough. I had not been performing my role well as a sister because I was too caught up with my own personal entertainment that I have failed to see the bigger and more important picture in my life. Perhaps, if I could have focused a bit more on my brother's studies, he didnt have to attain a C grade in his studies that would have granted him a better class and studying 7 subjects. Alas, his grades were not good enough for him to study 7 subjects but 6 subjects. To add on to that, he would not get to study a core subject but Art which I have no idea if that subject is relevant to admission to polytechnic. I know it is almost up to him to take responsibil...

I dont know what goes into food nowadays that even if I dont find myself gorging on food, and prefer having simple meals like wholemeal bread, wholemeal biscuits and cereal drinks for lunch, I still gain weight. Naturally, after fasting for almost a month in August and September, there will be a slight weight gain as the body starts to consume food on a regular basis rather than only in the late evening. What annoys me is that, it sorta takes away my effort to try to at least losea kilo or two. Now Im stuck with the 2kgs of weight gain which seem to creep its way on my tummy and slightly round the waistline especially when my job requires me to sit down most of the time. Aah well..no point being upset about it. It's never too late to start doing something about it and sticking with it. It doesn't matter if I have to suffer a bit of pain for it since Im pretty much used to trying not to eat a lot of bad things because it only means I have to work even harder..haha. The only exer...

I've always called myself stingy...no wait, make that my mum and brother..but if you follow my entries, it's just out of habit that I dont have desire to spend unnecessarily because of my financial circumstances. But I like to see the other side of the coin that being 'stingy', is not as bad as it sounds. In fact the correct term for me, instead of 'stingy', is 'frugal'. First it sounds nicer and second, cutting down on costly habits give meaning to life as you start to reap the benefits which do not necessarily translate to material gains. I treasure the clothing pieces that I have currently and being creative in how to mix and match instead of becoming slaves to fashion trends. Of course, my mum is making noise at me to buy new pieces because most of my clothes are losing colour and getting worn out. It's not that I dont want to but the nice ones are too expensive while the more affordable ones look like they just hire some random person on the str...

Unbelievable how some people are just monsters..I cant call them animals because even the animals know how to take care of their young. These monsters have no conscience and treated the poor young children like they are some ragged lifeless dolls by ill treating them until they died in their hands. What kind of human beings u call this? They were just tots and these monsters let anger take over them and vent it on these children. It's so sick. Like what others comment, many people struggle to have their own children or they have died due to illness or accident and then these monsters who are young fellas with poor anger management rub salt to an open wound by treating the poor tots as their punching bag. It's really appalling you know...how these tots have to die unnecessarily because of these monsters. I really dont know what goes through their mind when they did the inexplicable. Totally outraged by these monsters' behaviour. They deserve to die because no point living f...

My brother's exams are finally over so now I can blog in peace..meaning that I dont get somebody behind me screaming in frustration at the amount of work he had to revise. How he did? Well...I've always thought this boy could have done better but he always seem to average out to be good enough to stay in his current express stream and that's it. I dont want him to fall into the trap of just aiming to pass because in this society, everyone is competing with each other and I want him to get a job where it provides him with a comfortable living. But that could prove difficult because there will always be someone better than him and the employers wont want to hire people who can only give them minimal results. Im not trying to pressure him but this is reality. He may not be able to see it right now, but years down the road later, I just want him to make good of his life. Seriously, I dont like to be a nag but my nagging at him to study study study...and do his homework even to ...

I had a busy weekend but it is all in the name of good fun as I met my ex colleague who is like a dear friend to me as well as attend to another friend of mine's wedding. So in other words, did a lot of catching up with my ex schoolmates as well and see how far we all have changed or progress in our lives. But then again, some things never change. Anyway, what a binge fest too! And Rahayu likes! Hey, if you know wat kind of miserable food I eat on a daily basis all in the bid to stay healthy (and to maybe burn the fats along the way too..heh..), such food is like blessings from heaven. Bonding over good food with friends is pure happiness. So my friend Sherry got married and we are all happy for her. They have been in a relationship for years because it seemed like they were dating forever and like most love stories, theirs are not in any way different from others which is full of ups and downs but eventually, I believe true love will somehow find their way. Speaking of which, thou...

I am having the most fantastic time of my life for a few hours..grappling with a failing internet which I jz could not pinpoint the problem except to maybe blame on the tremors from overseas that were also felt in Singapore which might have 'shook' up the cable lines. I dunno..or it's just my cable modem acting up and screaming..'it's about time I get changed!' I really really dunno..and jz yesterday afternoon, the internet was down for a while coz I owed them 30 dollars as of last month. Yup, they're very desperate nowadays that within mere days of sending you the latest bill, they want their money asap. So I had to pay them earlier than I would usually do which is around the 12th when my pay will come in. And what do I get in return for paying the bills? A sub par bandwidth connection which is just begging for me to change to a better but more expensive plan even though Im already struggling with the current plan. Oh why oh why..does living in Singapore ha...

My internet at home was down for several days over the last weekend..and even when there was signs of life, it was seriously lagging. Anyway, it took me awhile to figure out that most people were on long weekend hols! Duh! Yup, I can be slow at times. So when the internet got better later about two days later, I was busy catching on soap opera drama mamas coz apparently there were new stuffs to watch and my favourite soap drama had some critical moments which I was glad they showed on my freaking birthday! whoohoo! Anyway, speaking of which, I had my birthday last week :) I wouldnt say it was some hardcore fantastic day to celebrate but in an age, where things can turn out unexpected, health can go on a decline and other sad stuffs thats happening around us on a personal or world level, I see it as a year of new opportunities and feeding of soul. Sometimes, we forget that we are not living for ourselves only but for others. Im guilty of this all the time. I thought I was capable of han...

I was reading this newspaper insert from a local English paper and the cover touched a deep emotional side of my heart when it reminded me so much of my dad when he was ill and conscious in between. His hand covering his face as if he was in deep thought or simply resting, his worn out face and his shaven head. Everything was down to a pat except the attire. The article touched on a topic which I had never heard before until the final days of my dad when the doctor uttered the word 'palliative care'. I did not give up on my father even though many times the doctors kept telling me his health was deteriorating. Even when all means of helping him came to a dead end, the doctor suggested giving him palliative care which I thought was an extension of the medical treatment they had been giving to him. Rather, as I did my research combined with bits and pieces of facts the doctors told me, I realised it was about giving comfort to the patient by giving him morphines to lessen his suf...