Doing Myself a Favour
I have to be honest with you...I dont like the look of this new blogskin. Im used to creating my own skin design but of course with some help with the coding which I borrowed from another blogskin to save me from the headache. Basically, there is this thing called the personal touch. Anyway, I used a blogger template and played around with the colours and the widgets for the layout and that's it. I suppose few weeks down the road I may be tweaking the blogskin again. I shall see.
Right now, like I said in my previous post, I said about my desire to open a new blog shop selling handmade accessories like earrings and necklace. But Im struggling to make just one earring and Im not even talking about a pair. Im struggling so much because it has been ages since I last made one and I basically feel like Im starting all over again. It's actually just a matter of putting the small pieces together but even that is a struggle for me. Anyway, when I finally finished making one, it didnt look wearable. Sigh...frustrations aside and a short moment of wanting to give it all up with a 'what am I thinking?' thought in my head, I know I will eventually get there.
Based on other people's experience when they first started out in their business, they were struggling as well and now they have made a name for themselves. There is this local malay baker who started her baking business when she was retrenched and she decided to tap on her passion for baking to bake for others and at first, the people's reactions to her cakes were not good. But she made it as a learning point and continually improve herself and now, she is a successful baker as well as an instructor in her own baking school.
So it's back to the drawing board again. I struggled at first because I had an idea of what to make but I made so many improvisations in between I didn't know what I was doing. So just now I decided to put my idea onto a piece of paper and it had helped me quite a bit by being more focused. If there are any improvisations to be made as it doesn't mean if it's on paper it will be perfect, at least Im still pretty much focused. I know Im almost there but I just need to make some tweaks to it and by Sunday night, I will have my first official pair of earrings which I hope to post it up proudly online here on my blog.
But apart from that hurdle, I managed to spend my time rather wisely today even though I woke up a bit late and with a bit of a sniffles. I was rather determined to go to Vivocity to get the pair of black pants which I had been thinking about and trying to save the last few days. I didn't save up until I get the full amount because I wanted to get it before the size ran out of stock. Anyway, long story short, I managed to get it and now this black pants will replace my other black pants, touted as a skinny black jeans, even though I think it's pretty much far from it but then again, it had served me well and outlived it's wearable state.
Part of my 'live simply' plan is to try to make use as much as I can of whatever I have like for example, using the concealer for my blemishes until I finish the concealer till the very last drop or using the bottle of moisturizer until there is no more of it left instead of buying another one just coz the description sounds better.
I save money plus I don't waste. In other words too, Im quite a scrooge..hehe.
It's a life Im quite used to already and Im not about to change it either. I've mentioned before that I used to be such a waster of things but I earn a small income which is not enough to sustain a kind of living where I can afford to waste money. Now even a 5 dollar blouse, which may look nice and so cheap, but if I don't see a need for it, I don't get it. Sure it will add to my wardrobe collection and I have more things to wear then but if I have recently bought some new ones already, then it wouldn't hurt to not buy this cheap 5 dollar blouse.
Currently, Im thinking of whether I should start saving up for a foundation refill instead which will set me back with an amount of 17 over dollars. I ran out of the foundation a long time ago already but never got around to buying a new refill because I have been using this baby brand talcum powder for my face because I don't want to make my already bad skin to be further clogged up with daily use of foundation. So far so good but the onlie thing is that I still suffer from blemishes especially under my chin but I have been suffering from this for a long time already. Currently, Im using a blemish spot healer which will help to clear the spots but it's clearing it veeeeeeerrry slowly. Plus it does not help to combat the new ones that sprout out every now and then. Only on special occasions do I use my mum's foundation but I don't really like it because it doesn't suit my skin colour. But oh well, that's the only thing I've got so can't complain so much unless I get for myself a new one.
The thing is now, I think I would rather save up for a face moisturizer instead so that I can retain a youthful complexion even when I reach the age of 30 later. If the skin gets dry, then it will age my face and I don't want that to happen. One thing I realize is that by using merely talcum powder for my face, Im actually almost exposing my real face to the world instead of cleverly masking it with heavy make up though it does make one prettier. But it will kinda lose its novelty later when people finally see the real you and they would rather have you put on the make up back. So you know, I have decided for now, I shall save up for a face moisturizer instead. Yup yup..so when people guess my age, they will shave off a few years off my real age without knowing it. Or! If I told them I am thirty (when I eventually reach that age), then they will have this disbelief look on their face. woot!
Ok wishful thinking there.
But you know what, Im doing this all for myself. Im making baby steps to making improvements to my life including my never ending battle to lose weight (I'll be happy if I can go back to my old weight in '07 even though it's not the ideal weight yet). I have to make a lot of sacrifice in terms of my eating habit though I can't resist the occasional chocolate but I dont indulge on it daily like maybe just once a week or so. Hey even personal fitness trainers have weaknesses for certain kinds of food like ice cream and chocolates though I cant have the luxury like them to work out almost every day. Perhaps I have mentioned this before but I will NEVER attempt to lose weight so that I will attract guys to feed my lonely ol' single soul. I mean seriously, most guys are shallow enough to deem us as sexy or drop dead gorgeous only when we're slimmer and drop us like that when we become fat or unattractive or even both.
Why are we doing this favour to them? We should be doing a favour to ourselves coz by losing weight, we gain self confidence, can wear nicer clothes and be healthier so that we don't get sick easily and avoid the major illnesses. That is what I told my former bestie when she was chatting with me just now and was upset coz her ex husband, who used to call her fat, is getting married next week. And then she had bad experience going on dates with guys who turned out be jerks whom she got to know online and conclude that they were being jerks to her onlie because she is fat and unpretty. Look, to me, guys being guys, even if you are slim and attractive, but you get a guy with roving eyes, he can leave you just like that if he can find someone who can top your beauty. Im not saying all guys are like that coz there are those who are decent and beaming with sincerity and a true gentleman, but seriously, we're not living in a fairy tale world.
One day, the right guy will come along and then you will marry him, have children and then realise you don't even have time to yourself anymore. So when you're still young, you live your life to the fullest instead of constantly thinking like oh, you don't want to grow old single and lonely. You will never be happy and only you have the key to your own happiness. Not them guys. Serious. So stop this self loathing. It's not doing you any favour.
Im not dishing this out to my former bestie from any self help books. I have been in her shoes where I thought to myself that I will never get a boyfriend because Im too fat and Im not attractive enough for their eyes. I know eventually some day, a nice guy will take me out for a movie and dinner while disregarding my size and how I look but it's not going to happen any time soon. In the meantime, I just concentrate on improving my own life. I think it's better than burying myself deep with low self esteem.
So later on, I will hit the gym again and not be late like last week coz I find it so hard to get out of my mattress. Still, better late than never and I like the refreshed feeling after the visit to the gym like I have made some minor accomplishment or something like bothering to get out of bed on a freaking Sunday morning just to exercise.
Hrm, speaking of guys, I do wonder if I have caught the eyes of one of the regulars there but they seem to be rather young for me..haha. But I don't have an age limit to being friends so why not, eh? ;) Then again, wishful thinking Rahayu...wishful thinking again.
Right now, like I said in my previous post, I said about my desire to open a new blog shop selling handmade accessories like earrings and necklace. But Im struggling to make just one earring and Im not even talking about a pair. Im struggling so much because it has been ages since I last made one and I basically feel like Im starting all over again. It's actually just a matter of putting the small pieces together but even that is a struggle for me. Anyway, when I finally finished making one, it didnt look wearable. Sigh...frustrations aside and a short moment of wanting to give it all up with a 'what am I thinking?' thought in my head, I know I will eventually get there.
Based on other people's experience when they first started out in their business, they were struggling as well and now they have made a name for themselves. There is this local malay baker who started her baking business when she was retrenched and she decided to tap on her passion for baking to bake for others and at first, the people's reactions to her cakes were not good. But she made it as a learning point and continually improve herself and now, she is a successful baker as well as an instructor in her own baking school.
So it's back to the drawing board again. I struggled at first because I had an idea of what to make but I made so many improvisations in between I didn't know what I was doing. So just now I decided to put my idea onto a piece of paper and it had helped me quite a bit by being more focused. If there are any improvisations to be made as it doesn't mean if it's on paper it will be perfect, at least Im still pretty much focused. I know Im almost there but I just need to make some tweaks to it and by Sunday night, I will have my first official pair of earrings which I hope to post it up proudly online here on my blog.
But apart from that hurdle, I managed to spend my time rather wisely today even though I woke up a bit late and with a bit of a sniffles. I was rather determined to go to Vivocity to get the pair of black pants which I had been thinking about and trying to save the last few days. I didn't save up until I get the full amount because I wanted to get it before the size ran out of stock. Anyway, long story short, I managed to get it and now this black pants will replace my other black pants, touted as a skinny black jeans, even though I think it's pretty much far from it but then again, it had served me well and outlived it's wearable state.
Part of my 'live simply' plan is to try to make use as much as I can of whatever I have like for example, using the concealer for my blemishes until I finish the concealer till the very last drop or using the bottle of moisturizer until there is no more of it left instead of buying another one just coz the description sounds better.
I save money plus I don't waste. In other words too, Im quite a scrooge..hehe.
It's a life Im quite used to already and Im not about to change it either. I've mentioned before that I used to be such a waster of things but I earn a small income which is not enough to sustain a kind of living where I can afford to waste money. Now even a 5 dollar blouse, which may look nice and so cheap, but if I don't see a need for it, I don't get it. Sure it will add to my wardrobe collection and I have more things to wear then but if I have recently bought some new ones already, then it wouldn't hurt to not buy this cheap 5 dollar blouse.
Currently, Im thinking of whether I should start saving up for a foundation refill instead which will set me back with an amount of 17 over dollars. I ran out of the foundation a long time ago already but never got around to buying a new refill because I have been using this baby brand talcum powder for my face because I don't want to make my already bad skin to be further clogged up with daily use of foundation. So far so good but the onlie thing is that I still suffer from blemishes especially under my chin but I have been suffering from this for a long time already. Currently, Im using a blemish spot healer which will help to clear the spots but it's clearing it veeeeeeerrry slowly. Plus it does not help to combat the new ones that sprout out every now and then. Only on special occasions do I use my mum's foundation but I don't really like it because it doesn't suit my skin colour. But oh well, that's the only thing I've got so can't complain so much unless I get for myself a new one.
The thing is now, I think I would rather save up for a face moisturizer instead so that I can retain a youthful complexion even when I reach the age of 30 later. If the skin gets dry, then it will age my face and I don't want that to happen. One thing I realize is that by using merely talcum powder for my face, Im actually almost exposing my real face to the world instead of cleverly masking it with heavy make up though it does make one prettier. But it will kinda lose its novelty later when people finally see the real you and they would rather have you put on the make up back. So you know, I have decided for now, I shall save up for a face moisturizer instead. Yup yup..so when people guess my age, they will shave off a few years off my real age without knowing it. Or! If I told them I am thirty (when I eventually reach that age), then they will have this disbelief look on their face. woot!
Ok wishful thinking there.
But you know what, Im doing this all for myself. Im making baby steps to making improvements to my life including my never ending battle to lose weight (I'll be happy if I can go back to my old weight in '07 even though it's not the ideal weight yet). I have to make a lot of sacrifice in terms of my eating habit though I can't resist the occasional chocolate but I dont indulge on it daily like maybe just once a week or so. Hey even personal fitness trainers have weaknesses for certain kinds of food like ice cream and chocolates though I cant have the luxury like them to work out almost every day. Perhaps I have mentioned this before but I will NEVER attempt to lose weight so that I will attract guys to feed my lonely ol' single soul. I mean seriously, most guys are shallow enough to deem us as sexy or drop dead gorgeous only when we're slimmer and drop us like that when we become fat or unattractive or even both.
Why are we doing this favour to them? We should be doing a favour to ourselves coz by losing weight, we gain self confidence, can wear nicer clothes and be healthier so that we don't get sick easily and avoid the major illnesses. That is what I told my former bestie when she was chatting with me just now and was upset coz her ex husband, who used to call her fat, is getting married next week. And then she had bad experience going on dates with guys who turned out be jerks whom she got to know online and conclude that they were being jerks to her onlie because she is fat and unpretty. Look, to me, guys being guys, even if you are slim and attractive, but you get a guy with roving eyes, he can leave you just like that if he can find someone who can top your beauty. Im not saying all guys are like that coz there are those who are decent and beaming with sincerity and a true gentleman, but seriously, we're not living in a fairy tale world.
One day, the right guy will come along and then you will marry him, have children and then realise you don't even have time to yourself anymore. So when you're still young, you live your life to the fullest instead of constantly thinking like oh, you don't want to grow old single and lonely. You will never be happy and only you have the key to your own happiness. Not them guys. Serious. So stop this self loathing. It's not doing you any favour.
Im not dishing this out to my former bestie from any self help books. I have been in her shoes where I thought to myself that I will never get a boyfriend because Im too fat and Im not attractive enough for their eyes. I know eventually some day, a nice guy will take me out for a movie and dinner while disregarding my size and how I look but it's not going to happen any time soon. In the meantime, I just concentrate on improving my own life. I think it's better than burying myself deep with low self esteem.
So later on, I will hit the gym again and not be late like last week coz I find it so hard to get out of my mattress. Still, better late than never and I like the refreshed feeling after the visit to the gym like I have made some minor accomplishment or something like bothering to get out of bed on a freaking Sunday morning just to exercise.
Hrm, speaking of guys, I do wonder if I have caught the eyes of one of the regulars there but they seem to be rather young for me..haha. But I don't have an age limit to being friends so why not, eh? ;) Then again, wishful thinking Rahayu...wishful thinking again.
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