Aah yes....the day has come and gone. I meant...pay day cum bonus day. Well, I had a very short whirlwind romance with food and a biiiiit of shopping and also settled most of my bills...pfft...bills...hate them but what to do, life is like that. Anyway,after being used to not spending on myself for the longest time, when I finally get to enjoy life a bit, I felt guilt ridden about it like I didnt know how to take care of my expenses and then began regretting like...oh...I could have spent the money more wisely. But life is too short to be thinking about that but I cant help it. Old habits die hard and there is always this fear in me that I would not be able to provide for my family enough. I guess thats why very earlier on, I have decided to stop spending on myself and focus on the family instead. If you think that I am being too hard on myself, I share the same thought as well but you dunno me well enough. I may portray myself as a person who spare a thought for the family and therefore do not spend the money carelessly. But ther is this little piece of me that can get out of control and once it does, there is no turning back. Who is going to suffer? My family.
I cant help it. Im a girl. And girls generally loves to shop. It's as simple as that. And I dont know if it is a 'girl' thing also to do things on a whim and then regret it big time later. And then the whole cycle starts again when something catches her fancy. After being in and out of hardship, I guess I have learnt my lesson hard that nothing lasts forever. But before that happens, it's best to hold on to it for as long as you can.
I guess the same thing can be said about....love?
Seriously, I dont quite know how it's like being in love but I guess I can understand why some girls find it hard to let go of their men when things dont go right in the relationship. We always hold on to that one glimmer of hope that things will get better eventually. We are afraid that once we let this go, we can never get to feel the magic of love again.
But whats the use of holding on to something that wont promise us happiness? It's always good to hope that everything will be alright but reality can be so cruel at times. So what do we do? We just have to accept it.
Just like how I have to accept the fact that hey, it's inevitable that I have to spend money because I dont work hard for nothing and then not being able to spend on myself at least for once. of course I do wish that I get to have the savings which I originally intended to keep but because I have not worked for a full year yet coz I am still new and under probation, it kinda sucks that I have to lower my expected savings
But hey, no matter what, a pat on the back on myself for being able to not repeat last year's mistakes. It was so bad that exactly a year ago, just mere days after my bonus (which was bigger than now) I was left with a mere few dollars only and had to borrow from my brother's savings and from a relative. And that was just after two months of suffering under great financial hardship which led to me selling off few of my beloved possessions. See I told you I can get out control at times for someone who is very calculative.
You know what. It's okay...it is lessons like these that make u stronger and think twice about your actions. Time to move on and not dwell on something that has already happened. Instead, take this opportunity to think on the positive side of things. There is always two faces on a coin.
I cant help it. Im a girl. And girls generally loves to shop. It's as simple as that. And I dont know if it is a 'girl' thing also to do things on a whim and then regret it big time later. And then the whole cycle starts again when something catches her fancy. After being in and out of hardship, I guess I have learnt my lesson hard that nothing lasts forever. But before that happens, it's best to hold on to it for as long as you can.
I guess the same thing can be said about....love?
Seriously, I dont quite know how it's like being in love but I guess I can understand why some girls find it hard to let go of their men when things dont go right in the relationship. We always hold on to that one glimmer of hope that things will get better eventually. We are afraid that once we let this go, we can never get to feel the magic of love again.
But whats the use of holding on to something that wont promise us happiness? It's always good to hope that everything will be alright but reality can be so cruel at times. So what do we do? We just have to accept it.
Just like how I have to accept the fact that hey, it's inevitable that I have to spend money because I dont work hard for nothing and then not being able to spend on myself at least for once. of course I do wish that I get to have the savings which I originally intended to keep but because I have not worked for a full year yet coz I am still new and under probation, it kinda sucks that I have to lower my expected savings
But hey, no matter what, a pat on the back on myself for being able to not repeat last year's mistakes. It was so bad that exactly a year ago, just mere days after my bonus (which was bigger than now) I was left with a mere few dollars only and had to borrow from my brother's savings and from a relative. And that was just after two months of suffering under great financial hardship which led to me selling off few of my beloved possessions. See I told you I can get out control at times for someone who is very calculative.
You know what. It's okay...it is lessons like these that make u stronger and think twice about your actions. Time to move on and not dwell on something that has already happened. Instead, take this opportunity to think on the positive side of things. There is always two faces on a coin.
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