No Im not bright and chirpy. But it doesnt hurt to pretend that everything is alright. My internet is still up and running, thanks to my little lie, which I should not elaborate further. You know, in case of copycats..heh. But of course, like in any life stories, happiness is not meant to be forever. Trust me for being a failure this year in terms of keeping up with my bills. Everything just snowballed and I havent been in so much distress over my bills before. Yes I do lapsed in my payments before but seriously, this is bad. Aiyah, in short, I can never be trouble free. Last year, around this time too, I was struggling and had to sell of a few of my precious items and I am still reeling from the hurt of letting go of them.
I can only hope and pray that things will be okay soon. Recently I got a reply from the withdrawal board when I sent them several forms requesting to withdraw my father's retirement fund earlier based on medical grounds. Even though I had to 'pretend to be him because I know he wont be agreeable to it, I onlie did it not for selfish reason but for the family. It will do our family good ever since he stopped working two years back. I just know him to be a stubborn mule but if money comes in, he will just be thankful for it. He just hates doing the paperwork. That or in his little world, everything is a-o-k, which is not..trust me. I hope God forgives me for what I've done because I just hate the fact that I am not able to provide my family enough.
Already my aunt said that she wont be able to help us out next month because she had to pay for her pawned items or she would never get them back. So right now, fingers crossed that they will process and approve the withdrawal application and hopefully, months from now, I dont have to worry every single day and be such a control freak over my finances.
Miracles do happen, trust me, and I know God does try to ease my family's burden as well.
Please let this one miracle happen and I will be eternally grateful.