sianz..sianz..sianz..a chinese word which i don't know exactly what is the actual meaning of it in english but so far, what i can conclude is simply...a 'bloody freakin bored f**ked up life' which obviously yours truly is going through right now. Im sorry jason mraz..but ur song Life Is Wonderful..seemed rather useless to me at this point of time. Will it get better? I cant guarantee that. Worse? I am definitely betting my dollars on it.
can people just cut some slack..and let ME..run my own show instead of being a puppet to their needs and wants..k, in my family, that will be CONSTANT HUNGER and CONSTANT ATTENTION. Gawd..I don't have a private jet plane like Mr Donald Trump and dont expect me to zoom back home straight after attending to their food orders of the day. I mean..come on....I have the right to see what I want to see coz I dont earn money just for the family but for my own needs as well. So what if i take my time to think if the skirt is worth buying because I don't want to end up with a wasted buy. But it's so irritating when I felt like I am a prisoner out on bail and every...second..and every..minute..counts. Arrghh!!!
And today I nearly blew my top off. My mum was still not over me going out late afternoon and reaching home nearly 11pm last Saturday. Okay..I jz missed the point here. She was not happy about me going out with my friend..infact, any friend..now that's a big freakin' fuss! likeas if i came out jz like that..leaving them out in the rain while they starve to death. I went out twice before that buying for them breakfast and then right before meeting my friend, bought lunch for them ..queueing up to buy KFC food...while almost being on the brink of being late. Today would be the second time I told my friend I couldn't go out with her after work coz u know why? MY MUM was not happy about it..but went about being sarcastic about it saying that oh well, whatever her decision was, I would still insist on going so no point anyway. Then she said that I would have to buy food for my father..he didnt eat his porridge yesterday and he was extra tired after eating the packet of rice which I bought yesterday. And then my brother had not eaten yet. CAN YOU LIKE IMAGINE..since last Saturday, which I shall remind u..I did get for them their f**king food..before leaving...and then subsequently, the next day and the next day..up to yesterday, I brought home bags of groceries along with food risking breaking the bones of my arms coz ain't NOTHING is too heavy for me..which, by the way, is my mum's assumptions. MAN!! Buying food is an everyday affair...everyday i sacrifice my own personal time off after work bypassing even my own home to continue with the second part of my journey buying food for them. Look, I know i sound like Im kicking a huge fuss over this food issue..and fyi, my mum doesnt cook so forget about home cooked food..it doesn't exist in this house...but I don't care about the damn food. What made me so PISSED OFF was the fact that..she didn't let me meet my friend coz she was worried that I couldn't get them food on time and also coz I went out already last Saturday. FOr f**kin' sake, I DONT GO OUT ALL THE TIME WITH MY FRIEND. The last time I ever DID go out with my friend for like what..AN HOUR..which she made a ruckus already..was three weeks ago. Everytime..everyday..I served their needs and when it's my turn to have a bit of ME time outside with my own friend, It's like im being punished. So which means what..if I ever go out, I'll be made to serve life sentence is it? GAwD...
Haiz..I just hope she stops taking me as a child and I know that I have responsibilities and I don't stray as much as I want to far far away from this family...
NOw she continues harping on the fact that I am upset I didn't get to go out..and like...I love my friend so much that I can't bear NOT to go out with them..then might as well go to Australia and then lead my own life there. FYI again mum..u don't even Let me make a passport!!!! what Australia? It doesn't exist!
Grow up can? I am not like ur son who thrives on fast food everyday and who cant even taqke care of his own needs...I know my responsibilities..I sacrifice my time for the family and now u want me to sacrifice my friends? NO FUCKING WAY! I'd lose my sanity if I don't have them around coz right now, I am on the brink of madness@!#!@!
I don't need to be consulted...I don't need to be advised..I just want..some peace and quiet....away frm all this mayhem..coz let me remind you one more time..I am not some gawd damn kid. STOP TREATING ME LIKE SOME PIMPLED TEENAGER..coz u know why...I ain't like u mum..u're insecured. U need people to serve u. I don't need people to tell me what to do. I have my own life..i respect urs..I respect ur decision to not cook food for the family coz u don't like ur food to be criticised in any way even if people are jz telling the truth coz u f**k well asked for it. But above all...I need u to respect that I have my own personal space..and PLEASE..dont..step on it. Jz..get out of it. PLEASE..
can people just cut some slack..and let ME..run my own show instead of being a puppet to their needs and wants..k, in my family, that will be CONSTANT HUNGER and CONSTANT ATTENTION. Gawd..I don't have a private jet plane like Mr Donald Trump and dont expect me to zoom back home straight after attending to their food orders of the day. I mean..come on....I have the right to see what I want to see coz I dont earn money just for the family but for my own needs as well. So what if i take my time to think if the skirt is worth buying because I don't want to end up with a wasted buy. But it's so irritating when I felt like I am a prisoner out on bail and every...second..and every..minute..counts. Arrghh!!!
And today I nearly blew my top off. My mum was still not over me going out late afternoon and reaching home nearly 11pm last Saturday. Okay..I jz missed the point here. She was not happy about me going out with my friend..infact, any friend..now that's a big freakin' fuss! likeas if i came out jz like that..leaving them out in the rain while they starve to death. I went out twice before that buying for them breakfast and then right before meeting my friend, bought lunch for them ..queueing up to buy KFC food...while almost being on the brink of being late. Today would be the second time I told my friend I couldn't go out with her after work coz u know why? MY MUM was not happy about it..but went about being sarcastic about it saying that oh well, whatever her decision was, I would still insist on going so no point anyway. Then she said that I would have to buy food for my father..he didnt eat his porridge yesterday and he was extra tired after eating the packet of rice which I bought yesterday. And then my brother had not eaten yet. CAN YOU LIKE IMAGINE..since last Saturday, which I shall remind u..I did get for them their f**king food..before leaving...and then subsequently, the next day and the next day..up to yesterday, I brought home bags of groceries along with food risking breaking the bones of my arms coz ain't NOTHING is too heavy for me..which, by the way, is my mum's assumptions. MAN!! Buying food is an everyday affair...everyday i sacrifice my own personal time off after work bypassing even my own home to continue with the second part of my journey buying food for them. Look, I know i sound like Im kicking a huge fuss over this food issue..and fyi, my mum doesnt cook so forget about home cooked food..it doesn't exist in this house...but I don't care about the damn food. What made me so PISSED OFF was the fact that..she didn't let me meet my friend coz she was worried that I couldn't get them food on time and also coz I went out already last Saturday. FOr f**kin' sake, I DONT GO OUT ALL THE TIME WITH MY FRIEND. The last time I ever DID go out with my friend for like what..AN HOUR..which she made a ruckus already..was three weeks ago. Everytime..everyday..I served their needs and when it's my turn to have a bit of ME time outside with my own friend, It's like im being punished. So which means what..if I ever go out, I'll be made to serve life sentence is it? GAwD...
Haiz..I just hope she stops taking me as a child and I know that I have responsibilities and I don't stray as much as I want to far far away from this family...
NOw she continues harping on the fact that I am upset I didn't get to go out..and like...I love my friend so much that I can't bear NOT to go out with them..then might as well go to Australia and then lead my own life there. FYI again mum..u don't even Let me make a passport!!!! what Australia? It doesn't exist!
Grow up can? I am not like ur son who thrives on fast food everyday and who cant even taqke care of his own needs...I know my responsibilities..I sacrifice my time for the family and now u want me to sacrifice my friends? NO FUCKING WAY! I'd lose my sanity if I don't have them around coz right now, I am on the brink of madness@!#!@!
I don't need to be consulted...I don't need to be advised..I just want..some peace and quiet....away frm all this mayhem..coz let me remind you one more time..I am not some gawd damn kid. STOP TREATING ME LIKE SOME PIMPLED TEENAGER..coz u know why...I ain't like u mum..u're insecured. U need people to serve u. I don't need people to tell me what to do. I have my own life..i respect urs..I respect ur decision to not cook food for the family coz u don't like ur food to be criticised in any way even if people are jz telling the truth coz u f**k well asked for it. But above all...I need u to respect that I have my own personal space..and PLEASE..dont..step on it. Jz..get out of it. PLEASE..
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