"Living Each Single Day"

Hehe..I am so proud of myself!! I have learnt the art of being patience..coz I resisted buying this white long sleeves blouse for more than a month as a way to cut down on my expenditure. I guessed I went crazy over the sales..but this being a non sales item, I didn't wanna get it. But after a bit of additional income from my company..in less than an hour, I get the white blouse! And what a wait...coz my rapid weight loss (which I figured was the cause of my fatigue and mood swings)..I was able to fit in better than the last time I tried! I mean..it was still okaylah back then..just that i thought it could look even better. Okay..so it's not exactly what I wanted but heck..still good enough!! You see you see!!!! Oh, and upon uploading the pics, I was thinking why my jawline felt a bit 'funnie'. For example, if I apply sunblock or cream, I could feel the sharp bones especially round the corners near the ears rather than the usual fleshy touch. Then as I compared and cont...

Well..it's tough being a girl. can't afford to slack if not our skin gets all blotchy..can't afford to just ignore what we eat or the fats will go straight to the hips, butt and thighs. Oh, and we can't afford to ignore the projection of our image if not we will only appear as 'sloppy' putting ourselves to shame compared to the dress to the max...well...cross dressers. Many of them embrace their 'womanly curves' ..whether they already have it or artificially have them made...to wear the latest season fashion and up-to-date makeup colours. Okay, for once...I was sloppy. Right..I am still lah but you have to forgive me. I can onli do so much! I mean I enjoy being a girl as much as I enjoy buying make up although not as frequent as the times when I was a teenager. Since now I prefer a flawless looking skin rather than hiding behind a thick layer of foundation or compact powder. To me, what's the point if you keep buying a truckload of foundation...cr...

I definitely think that I had been quite affected by my surroundings and got distracted halfway. I have always admired some people especially ladies around my age group who just look good in whatever they wear even if it is just wearing a well fitted jeans. Hey forget about my age group. The group above mine..even with a family of small children, they dont look like they piled on pounds despite bearing more than one children even. And if you think they're celebrities who can afford luxury slimming treatments for free, you're not even close. THey are real people...people you see on the streets, in the bus, in your neighbourhood or even the supermarkets. At a few points of my life, when I see these hot mamas or well dressed mamas...and look at myself, I'd be thinking..I was the one who looked like I am married and have ten children, not them! They look as mighty fine as ever. Heck, even my age group..of no matter what size, exudes a sense of charisma and self confidence that ...

i don't know if you are able to view this link but anyway, it's a great original acoustic song from.....you got it!! JASON MRAZ!! http://www.jasonmraz.com/multimedia/MRAZ-GypsyMC-HIGH.mov it's a bit long but you hardly notice coz he just sings and sings in his sweetest voice. Now this is a music genius who picked up playing guitar at a very late stage so he sorta have onlie less than ten years of guitar experience. However, his vast knowledge of music from rhythm & blues, jazz, motown...even pop...blends seamlessly together in his songs. But did you know at one point, he hated music? I mean, he didn't hate it like totally....he didn't like what people were doing to music with its mumbo jumbo of electronic sounds like those produced by the computers. However, his friends' array of musical influence and their continous support to the different genres out there gave him back the energy to just like music in its originality. It got stuck on him and he appreciate...

Hrm...if J.B. is ever to see this blog, he definitely need to see my picture, right? I mean, should at least give me credits for almost blinding my eyes sitting so near the tv just to get good shots of him. Oh well..he should see my grin whenever he appeared on the tv with his magic tricks. Priceless. Now this picture of mine was taken right after I took a few snapshots before the advert comes on. Haiz...*blissful*

Hey, you know how im so ga-ga over this guy whom I don't even know his status like whether he is married or what..like who cares even..haha...but Im still not happy they didn't announce that he spent almost a month in singapore and I wasn't even there to stalk him! What the hell....NOT HAPPY! So sob...I can onlie present snapshots of him...from my tv..(how odd is that?) and coz I didn't get to see him in real life, oh well, at least these pictures will comfort me. Besides his photos on the net look damn ugly. Haiz, need the touch of a special someone. He fits the bill of the kind of guy I like...at least physically..bwahaha! HRm, but personality wise, he's pretty okay too like he doesn't really talk that much and he is not totally humorous, just laid back and did i mention he's short! I jz love love his cute biceps...gawd, im awful! JB Benn...aka...JB BABY....u rock my magical world!

well...some things are just meant to be cleared up. Whether it is pent up frustrations...misunderstandings...fear, that kind of stuffs. Actuallie, with a clearer mind, you can think your way through the thick jungle..past some hunky guys who have set residence somewhere in your brain..your world of fantasy (sexual, harry potter-ish..whateva)...and then finally reach that oasis. See, just as I was trying to clear my mind while typing this out, I suddenly remembered that two hours ago, I was googling for Heath Ledger. And I have yet to scrutinize the results. Anyway, yeah..for me, I understand that I tend to fear for the unknown. My sleeplessness has given me a pretty massive headache from thinking..er..too much. What the hell...I am still in the 'is jake gyllenhaal handsome?' or is he not my type..but being all cloudy up there...I think he is but I am in great denial. That sets me to the next question which I have not really thought about...do I like guys with a masculine look o...

I reallie think if people wanna dig live performance music without all the fuss in the background, I'd say Jason Mraz will gladly 'up' a notch for you. I watched his live performances through his website and you should reallie watch them too. They are under the media section. He played live with just his guitar and his friend on the bongo on the stage...i got onlie one thing to say...'flawless'. He simply lives and breathes on music....and his candid nature makes his music easy on the ears. Feeling down? Just listen to 'Life is Wonderful'. It's like things happen because it takes something else to make it happen..just like in a relationship....it takes you no time to fall in love but to know love itself....it takes another few years..as it takes fear to gain you trust. Something like that...like how life is just one full circle..which makes it wonderful in itself. Aiyah, I can say onlie say that much about him..it's best that you just go and check hi...

Okay, so after this..I wouldn't bombard my blog with snippets from Brokeback Mountain. Actuallie after I wrote that last entry, I did a double take on the ending in my head. It just didnt seem right....I wouldnt think ang lee would have the conclusion like that..as to what really happened to Jack. The truth was...Jack didn't die in an accident. It was more horrific than that...which I didn't want to reveal..as much as I wouldn't want to believe it. Only thing was, Ennis's fear of what actuallie happened to Jack as he listened to Jack's wife giving details of the 'accident' was unfortunately, the truth in itself. The very thing that Ennis tried to protect them both from, which only led to Jack's frustrations and his eventual death, finally caught on one of them but Ennis wasn't involved this time. Only thing left were painful memories behind two bloodied shirts from their fight...and Ennis in tears over his lost love. Throughout the movie, we knew...

Okay I admit it. I had not reallie watched the movie Brokeback Mountain when I first wrote entries on it except for snippets on the internet although I did read the book. But you know how hollywood works....the movies are always an extension of any original stories and often they are rather fabricated and the leading actors or actresses are usually the ones with the good genes. Okay okay..before anyone throws stones at me for calling Jake Gyllenhaal to be 'not that handsome'...he is lah and im not kidding. But only at certain angles..bwahahaha!! And you think I'll give in easily. Oh where was i....okay so I finallie watched the movie today though the ending which I wrote in my previous post, was more based on the book and the reviews on the internet. So, there were definitely hiccups like if I ever wrongly misinterpret the storyline. However, I still stand firm on some of the viewpoints I shared in regards to their relationship like them getting acquainted with each other e...

Freakin' freakin sweet....that's how sweet love can be. And it grows stronger the more you try to resist. Yeah, I still haven't quite gotten over the sweet to the max scenes involving the two so-in-love cowboys. You know what, as I read the reviews, one of them did share the same view as me as to whether the cowboys were truly homosexuals before they met. Okay, actuallie i figured one of them is la...coz he had this longing gaze or a pair of eyes that gives a stolen glances at the other cowboy. But the other one, the more serious ennis...was probably drawn into loneliness after he lost his parents in an accident. He did mention about something something...(that guy talks with a frog in his throat)..and that's how he ended up here in brokeback with the sheep. Err..something like that lah...there's the reason why I can't review movies. I sometimes don't understand what the heck they were saying. BUt! I can truly understand the emotions going through the boys a...

the scene where the two cowboys from brokeback mountain had that physical thing goin' on..in the camp one cold lonely night, has been playing in my mind for a few times. And i shudder just by the thought of it although they didn't kiss yet and jack was onlie beginning to take his jacket off as ennis awaited in a silent approval. hey...not bad, i am getting prettie poetic..ha! okay, my point is...not that i am like you know..all into gay sex or what, curious to see how they share their passion together though it's obvious what goes where and etc..haha. But I shuddered coz it's so darn romantic...and ahem..seeing Jake Gyllenhaal going to do that little deed..i mean any hot blooded men would turn gay just to have him do that to them! Er...still im not that physically attracted to Jake in that way...at least to me coz he aint that handsome la. Frankly speaking, what i like about his acting is his coy eyes....the way they showed disappointment and at the same time excitement...

you know what..I don't know if I am up to watching brokeback mountain. I know it's all so hyped up especially after its glorious wins at famous movie festivals that when it fell out to another movie during the oscars, it fell hard. narh, that's beside the point. Let's just take out the multi hype and the multi winnings and let us see the movie point blank. I had always wanted to watch the movie when it was screened here last year as I tot the sypnosis was rather heart wrenching and pretti unusual..two gay cowboys in love with each other only to be living in constant denial and pressured by the social norms. well...i've always had this thing for love...in its different facets. I don't like the typical gorgeous boy in love with gorgeous girl...yawns..it's about time we face up to reality that not all of us were born with perfect genes. To tell you the truth, I didn't know how big brokeback mountain would be but if no one was moved by its storyline, then......

i don't know if I had woken up on the right side of the bed..contrary to cliche waking up on the wrong side...but somehow as i opened my eyes (couldn't figure out what time that was)..i suddenly had this thought. FOr days on end, I felt so..err...crummy. Everything seemed to be going downhill. I just didn't know what I was doing..felt so dazed. I felt so hyper sensitive over everything including my mum's daily orders for me to go out buy food or groceries and then me coming back with bags of stuffs. One part of me I don't want to neglect my family but another part, I don't want to waste my time doing things like these. For gawd's sake, I am a daughter and a sister in the family and not some indonesian maid or what. then there was me also entertaining thoughts about work like how shitty it is going to be. My partner of two months and my buddy for the past few years of working in this same department. YOu could say that she is the onlie one who keeps me sane e...

im shuddering over the thoughts of watching the Season 4 of CSI:Miami when it comes on in AXN maybe like in april or later. seriously shuddering. call me lame or what but don't you just hate it when the character that you likes find someone to love? even when she is the elder sister of one his charges who has only months to live before dying from cancer and then in between, she took drugs to relief her pain and her cancer support group. She was being placed under arrest after one of the leads from an ongoing investigation and even though she didn't intend to profit from the drug distributions, she needed to clear her name. And yes..guess who is there to save the day? LT Horatio Caine..obviously. MRS H CAINE is not happy here! I spent the entire night doing this blog layout dedicating this whole thing to him and his team and he just HAD to date a dying woman to spite me. what have I done?!! still...Im quite happy over the fact that maybe the producers know that this charming Dav...

Okay..so i got a new layout. BUt damn it..remind me to have a concrete plan written down first before I get 'oh so excited' over the prospect of a new blog layout!!! Seelah..have to do all over again coz I did a boo-boo. If not it's all ready. more than 4 hours, you know...4 damn hours of lousy time WASTED trying to correct my mistake..and what did i get in the end? nothing..just the contents up. Haiz...but this time I will make sure i have the layout written down like a map. Geez....

I have been going through an emotional turmoil especially when relating to my job and studies but right now, once I psychoed myself into thinking that no one can change my life..but me...I feel a little better. I began to take actions which I hope, will help me out in big ways to make my life more meaningful. Well, I got onlie one life and what better way but to live it like how you want it to be lived...at times, I felt that I am stagnant..going nowhere....merely being like a 'maid' to my family members especially my mum and brother. I didn't want to eat that much anymore even though I told myself not to panic if I ever gain a kg..which I did last week after trying to lose that last 1 kg weight gain. But that sense of calmness made the turn of the worst in me as I started to 'binge'...like eat whatever I want...when I please...and I felt like I kinda lost control as I saw that I put yet another 0.5kg in just a matter of days. However, I took charge quickly and had ...