Mz CurB Spending!
hello...
hey brand new month! perfect month too since it is after all...the bonus month! Yes..the long awaited time when you think your bank account had been almost sucked dry and you have this almost humongous 'ang pao' or token red packet to be given to you. Wow. And then..the 'kiasu' ol' me would be like..hrm.............................so what can i buy? But after doing the 'cannot escape' bill calculations and then segregation of the funds to various accounts (ahem..I did say i was 'kiasu' or someone who cannot just have one..heh)....I would also consider if I really need to buy that particular thing or rather..things. Yes, me, rahayu popz..the one who had always 'cringed' on seeing a blouse which costs even slightly more than 5 dollars..to be within the 'expensive' range. My fund is so limited when I minus off various payments and also to my mum..which is also considered part household part entertainment too as my mum likes to buy groceries or food for the family at our nearby town shopping centres. I didn't feel quite good seeing my friends spending money on a top or blouse..which to me..I would easily assume that I would NEVER buy something of that price.
I guess..'balance' is the key word. Like sometimes, when you don't eat your fav food for the longest time though you still didn' swear it off lah. Then when you are presented with that food of urs and you eat it, u just feel like eating and eating and eating it as you missed eating it for such a long period. So now, after losing some weight and changing some self-image, I've cleared my wardrobe to make room for newer clothes and as long as I don't spend more than 25 dollars (Except for one costing a little over by a dollar..haha..)...I tot it was okay since my bank accounts are still in the 'ok' category. But it just became a pretty bad habit that I would just end up buying something new..mostly clothes..if not for shoes which I could still control the habit lah...even though it wasn't as if I would go all nakey as I ran out of clothes or something. But, it's like this 'evil' thing creeping on ur back..telling ya to go and buy.........
THink coz it felt good that I was able to fit into clothes that I wouldn't even dared to try on just by the sheer glance of the blouse, for instance, and I would think..confirm, cannot fit! Or if i just managed to wear it, all my 'fats' or 'chubbiness' in all the different places of my body would be on public display. But having money...that would confirm, last me for the whole month, I have this tendency to just grab the top or bottom clothes which I fancied and within the self-created cost limit. Actual fact it, I just bought a top like say............maybe two days ago or even yesterday?! And then now, when I was hit with a 'bang' on the impending loan I had to pay by the end of the month of NOvember, I was quit shocked coz my mum, who is 4eva the spendthrift, will always think that we do still have 'balance' in the acct so it wouldn't hurt to spend. But that one is unavoidable despite the huge number of reminders but she would missly dissmiss me as err.....just being so overprotective. One thing, part of the funds belong to my father which I felt is my responsibility to guard it well. My mum is right on one hand that hey, my father used to work so hard and now that he has a bit of income, the family is entitled to 'enjoy' themselves.
But like..I told her too that we also have to think about rainy days coz life is so fragile and also unexpected, anything can happen and it's not as if we never experienced hardship. Then it's also the time when you see among ur friends who can sincerely help you or think of u as just one of those scheming people out to borrow their money and possibly not to return it. It's pretty strange like how u think that this person, of whom almost everytime will talk about money and buying this or that..buying insurance policies.....investment..having the latest things like XBOX or what, suddenly is 'poor' when u ask for help. It was during that time, that I felt with extreme guilt, that I shouldn't have spent that slightly more than 300 dollars on things that I hadn't had the slightest clues what I got.
I would also remember other times when we used to look around the home for loose change..coz we're practically almost penniless. It was damn sad lah..especially when I had to look for some money......................just to go to work. And it was around this time lah...after my kind hearted friend lent me some money which I promptly returned back and I still had quite a lot of money left after settling outstanding water bills......I changed my life perspective. I got so paranoid. Damn paranoid that I ended up not buying a pair of new shoes...not buying new clothes.....and still wore the shoes even if they obviously looked forlorn and caused marks on my legs as I wore them everyday. That sandals saw me through good and bad days..........and I didn't care a single bit over my overall look as I was disappointed on how 'fat' I had become and how ugly my feet had become.
But u know...when people say if you are good twds other people..that somehow GOd will see thru' ur hardship and grant u a bit of relief on ur life. But we shouldn't be too greedy or forgetful about how we suffered the previous time. Like how I mentioned before...everyone needs to have some balance in various aspects of their life..be it personal, work, marriage, family and so on...but it can be difficult if you just go ahead and not sit back and think what you had done for the day or for that period of time. It is during such period of self reflection that you will see the big picture, and beware..............it can sometimes look 'ugly' or 'nice'. And for me, it's also like a wake up call. And i'll try to make an improvement on it, no matter how small it is.
Well...like right now, I am a little hard on cash and sad to say, I'm quite contributive of that and yeah, I guess this month is a good time to learn all over again how to set some balance in my life. I mean, sure can spend money on new clothes..but I dont wish to be like a 'wolf' on prowl or something sniffing out clothes when I just bought new ones just like a few days ago. No offence to those who shops frequently but for me, it's a little bit of a headache whenever I see that nothing comes for free..and when pay day comes, I have to replenish back the funds that I spent. It used to be a little amount or less than a hundred. but it has somehow doubled..or tripled..I dunno. And then unexpected things happen and I have to dig out my savings again and they're not small amounts. Then I wished I hadn't spent the money buying almost a hundred over dollars of new tops.
So..what do I wish for within this month? Hey, who says I can't shop..after all, if you have the money, why not spend it rite? If you always say no no no....or keep it to yourself..like sighz....one day, i'll come back and see or u just can't sleep..can't stop thinking over that cool blouse..then, you can become quite a frantic shopper, something like me. Once I pop, I can't stop..haha. Nolah..I guess hey, if I can afford that blouse and I KNOW there will still be some balance of money left, then okay, cant get. But self control must come in lah...I can't just keep on buying and buying and buying...coz my mentality is always that i still have some balance in my account. Now I'll just think about money going out must also equate to money going in..or better still, money going in must be more than money going out and must attain some sort of like a 'nirvana' in my accounts..hahaha..I must still be satisfied with the total funds. And all I have to do is curb on my spending. That does any trick.
I hope this brand new *special* month of December will be much better than that of October and November now that I don't go out to schools anymore so I won't have the tendency to spend. But nevertheless, I still go out to work and come back, but in between that, I will curb my spending too. Just because a blouse looks nice and can fit me well..doesn't me I should get it. Get it onlie if i really need to buy a new one..not coz it looks nice..haha. Oh well...doesnt everybody has a weakness?
hey brand new month! perfect month too since it is after all...the bonus month! Yes..the long awaited time when you think your bank account had been almost sucked dry and you have this almost humongous 'ang pao' or token red packet to be given to you. Wow. And then..the 'kiasu' ol' me would be like..hrm.............................so what can i buy? But after doing the 'cannot escape' bill calculations and then segregation of the funds to various accounts (ahem..I did say i was 'kiasu' or someone who cannot just have one..heh)....I would also consider if I really need to buy that particular thing or rather..things. Yes, me, rahayu popz..the one who had always 'cringed' on seeing a blouse which costs even slightly more than 5 dollars..to be within the 'expensive' range. My fund is so limited when I minus off various payments and also to my mum..which is also considered part household part entertainment too as my mum likes to buy groceries or food for the family at our nearby town shopping centres. I didn't feel quite good seeing my friends spending money on a top or blouse..which to me..I would easily assume that I would NEVER buy something of that price.
I guess..'balance' is the key word. Like sometimes, when you don't eat your fav food for the longest time though you still didn' swear it off lah. Then when you are presented with that food of urs and you eat it, u just feel like eating and eating and eating it as you missed eating it for such a long period. So now, after losing some weight and changing some self-image, I've cleared my wardrobe to make room for newer clothes and as long as I don't spend more than 25 dollars (Except for one costing a little over by a dollar..haha..)...I tot it was okay since my bank accounts are still in the 'ok' category. But it just became a pretty bad habit that I would just end up buying something new..mostly clothes..if not for shoes which I could still control the habit lah...even though it wasn't as if I would go all nakey as I ran out of clothes or something. But, it's like this 'evil' thing creeping on ur back..telling ya to go and buy.........
THink coz it felt good that I was able to fit into clothes that I wouldn't even dared to try on just by the sheer glance of the blouse, for instance, and I would think..confirm, cannot fit! Or if i just managed to wear it, all my 'fats' or 'chubbiness' in all the different places of my body would be on public display. But having money...that would confirm, last me for the whole month, I have this tendency to just grab the top or bottom clothes which I fancied and within the self-created cost limit. Actual fact it, I just bought a top like say............maybe two days ago or even yesterday?! And then now, when I was hit with a 'bang' on the impending loan I had to pay by the end of the month of NOvember, I was quit shocked coz my mum, who is 4eva the spendthrift, will always think that we do still have 'balance' in the acct so it wouldn't hurt to spend. But that one is unavoidable despite the huge number of reminders but she would missly dissmiss me as err.....just being so overprotective. One thing, part of the funds belong to my father which I felt is my responsibility to guard it well. My mum is right on one hand that hey, my father used to work so hard and now that he has a bit of income, the family is entitled to 'enjoy' themselves.
But like..I told her too that we also have to think about rainy days coz life is so fragile and also unexpected, anything can happen and it's not as if we never experienced hardship. Then it's also the time when you see among ur friends who can sincerely help you or think of u as just one of those scheming people out to borrow their money and possibly not to return it. It's pretty strange like how u think that this person, of whom almost everytime will talk about money and buying this or that..buying insurance policies.....investment..having the latest things like XBOX or what, suddenly is 'poor' when u ask for help. It was during that time, that I felt with extreme guilt, that I shouldn't have spent that slightly more than 300 dollars on things that I hadn't had the slightest clues what I got.
I would also remember other times when we used to look around the home for loose change..coz we're practically almost penniless. It was damn sad lah..especially when I had to look for some money......................just to go to work. And it was around this time lah...after my kind hearted friend lent me some money which I promptly returned back and I still had quite a lot of money left after settling outstanding water bills......I changed my life perspective. I got so paranoid. Damn paranoid that I ended up not buying a pair of new shoes...not buying new clothes.....and still wore the shoes even if they obviously looked forlorn and caused marks on my legs as I wore them everyday. That sandals saw me through good and bad days..........and I didn't care a single bit over my overall look as I was disappointed on how 'fat' I had become and how ugly my feet had become.
But u know...when people say if you are good twds other people..that somehow GOd will see thru' ur hardship and grant u a bit of relief on ur life. But we shouldn't be too greedy or forgetful about how we suffered the previous time. Like how I mentioned before...everyone needs to have some balance in various aspects of their life..be it personal, work, marriage, family and so on...but it can be difficult if you just go ahead and not sit back and think what you had done for the day or for that period of time. It is during such period of self reflection that you will see the big picture, and beware..............it can sometimes look 'ugly' or 'nice'. And for me, it's also like a wake up call. And i'll try to make an improvement on it, no matter how small it is.
Well...like right now, I am a little hard on cash and sad to say, I'm quite contributive of that and yeah, I guess this month is a good time to learn all over again how to set some balance in my life. I mean, sure can spend money on new clothes..but I dont wish to be like a 'wolf' on prowl or something sniffing out clothes when I just bought new ones just like a few days ago. No offence to those who shops frequently but for me, it's a little bit of a headache whenever I see that nothing comes for free..and when pay day comes, I have to replenish back the funds that I spent. It used to be a little amount or less than a hundred. but it has somehow doubled..or tripled..I dunno. And then unexpected things happen and I have to dig out my savings again and they're not small amounts. Then I wished I hadn't spent the money buying almost a hundred over dollars of new tops.
So..what do I wish for within this month? Hey, who says I can't shop..after all, if you have the money, why not spend it rite? If you always say no no no....or keep it to yourself..like sighz....one day, i'll come back and see or u just can't sleep..can't stop thinking over that cool blouse..then, you can become quite a frantic shopper, something like me. Once I pop, I can't stop..haha. Nolah..I guess hey, if I can afford that blouse and I KNOW there will still be some balance of money left, then okay, cant get. But self control must come in lah...I can't just keep on buying and buying and buying...coz my mentality is always that i still have some balance in my account. Now I'll just think about money going out must also equate to money going in..or better still, money going in must be more than money going out and must attain some sort of like a 'nirvana' in my accounts..hahaha..I must still be satisfied with the total funds. And all I have to do is curb on my spending. That does any trick.
I hope this brand new *special* month of December will be much better than that of October and November now that I don't go out to schools anymore so I won't have the tendency to spend. But nevertheless, I still go out to work and come back, but in between that, I will curb my spending too. Just because a blouse looks nice and can fit me well..doesn't me I should get it. Get it onlie if i really need to buy a new one..not coz it looks nice..haha. Oh well...doesnt everybody has a weakness?
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