Sometimes I don't know what I am doing. Really I don't. How I wish life will be a little bit less complicated for me. While it is already completed, I just have to take one notch up by making it a little bit more...complicated. As often the expression of my other friend *slaps forehead*
But then in life, you make mistakes...and you learn from them..and just move on.
Hence, I need a SUPER HERO.
Someone to tell me that hey, you have to learn to stand up and just look at life in the eye and say, no more of you giving me stupid nonsense like this. Give me the strength to carry on with life in dignity and in strong spirit.
I just want my very own..
But then again, who needs a superhero when you can find the strength within yourself, rise above the obstacles and take charge of yourself. Yes I know it is easier said than done and countless of times, I find myself at the bottom of a pit hole struggling to find my way out.
Just as I was about to stop making unnecessary purchases and learn to spend wisely so that I don't have to worry about having little money and basically surviving, I just HAVE to give in to temptations an buy even MORE unnecessary stuffs just now. Here I am even resorting to borrowing to clear my debt and then I have to buy these things. Only consolation is that I manage to stop myself from doing even more damage and just buy as minimal as I can possibly get. At least that way, I don't have to like, think and think often about not buying but rather, what can I buy without resorting to having to pay the unnecessary full price.
I get this clash of thoughts often. To buy or not to buy? If I just had to buy, I make sure that it is worth every penny of buying..or at least the discount is worthy enough.
So yesterday my colleague was messaging me telling me that she was going to a sales the next day and they're all sales of major cosmetics brand like mac, bobbi brown, clinique and etc. I own clinique products which I bought when I had extra moolah and then I didn't buy them anymore but I got as a gift last year. I also won the Anna Sui make up. What I had bought recently were some random make up items and each costs less than $15..no big ticket items..but nevertheless, still popular and not found in Singapore.
I didn't want to get anything but then I thought that she would see me as a cheap skate. Usually I'm very frank with people that when I don't have money, I would say it upfront. People always expect others to have at least a stash of money in the bank which rightfully should be the case. I could hardly save and not because I can't but because I have to buy things for the fam as a sole breadwinner on a puny salary.
So I kinda ignored her sms or message to read my work email. But this morning she asked me to again and so, I opened them and OMG, a MAC lipstick that costs a mere $10?!!
And and...a clinique make up palette set plus lipgloss and a mini cosmetic bags for $20?!!
And so on and so forth..
But of course I had to hold on tight and then me and my big mouth, I just had to tell my mum about the sales and she was so egg-cited about it saying that she wants a mac foundation. Then I saw the foundation price and...OMG it is only $15?!
What kind of sales is this?!!! Apparently a VIP one because you need a ticket to get in and her daughter works in the make up industry so you know the rest. People like me can only order through such peeps which is good enough coz at least I get a stash without having to queue and stuffs..heh.
Horrible person I am.
Anyway, I could have just settled with a mac lipsticks and then when she said that a bobbi brown make up palette costs only $25 and the original price was $75?! I kid you not when I asked her to ask the counter lady if this is for real.
You can check out the link below to see what product is that. It is the Bobbi Brown Beauty Rules for beginners aka non pro like me.
I didn't know about the product details but she took a snap of it and I'm.....in lurve.
Bobbi Brown Beauty Rules
After that, the feeling sank in and I had to sit down. Plus my mum's foundation which I believed I had to pay for it eventually, I would have spent $55. Faint.
What have I done, people?
Then prior to that I had to walk into a scrapbooking shop to look for this particular sponge brush and I end up with a $10 unnecessary purchase of a cardstock sticker and a scrapbook paper. Okay at the very least I did want to buy the paper but definitely not the cardstock sticker but the girl was quite...eurgh..persistent. I don't need another cardstock sticker which is a bit more expensive than the other shop I quite frequent.
Anyhoo, that can escape a bit because it looks like I may have to empty my coin cup to make up for that $10 purchase. What to do with me.
Let me see if I could bargain with my colleague or pray with all the luck that I don't have to pay the FULL price based on her kindheartedness. Sheepish me. I need to club myself over the head. Why on earth I'm so interested in make up. Already I've mentioned I'm in trouble because of my debt.
I, Rahayu, promise to not lay my hand on another make up product. Damage is already done anyway.
Honestly I don't need a hero to save me. I need to save myself first from all this. For the last time already, I will ensure that whatever stash of money I have, I will use them wisely.
Pray that I don't get myself into silly trouble again. Pfft..should have just settled with the mac lipstick. Why Rahayu why....
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