Hey, I am back from the dead. I didn't go anywhere but it is just that...I didn't know what to write about. Meanwhile, I have also been making some cards, trying to be serious about launching this online business of mine. Later on, I will be making some accessories like earrings.
Nothing much in my life, otherwise. I am trying to lead an honest life but truthfully, I haven't really been honest.When I was watching this crime show, I was so touched by the story of this karang guni man, or what you call as rags and bone man, someone who collects recyclable items like cardboard boxes, newspapers, old drink cans and etc and then sent it to someone who would then weigh and give them some money.
But it's not like some big business unless they collect those bigger items like used computers. Even then they will only get a very small meager income, barely enough to buy a plate of food for them. Like this old man, who toiled to collect these items and had to pay those people who gave him these even though out of sincerity and pity, they didn't want him to pay. He insisted because he just felt that it was right of him to pay, even it is $2.
What did he get out of it? $4. And he had to bargain just to get $1 more so that he could at least buy himself a simple lunch.
Now this was not one homeless guy who had to resort to this because he didn't have anywhere else to go. He did. His siblings wanted to take him in but he refused. He would rather earn his own income and he didn't want to trouble them. He said it was good enough they let him wash his clothes at their home.
Despite his simple and honest living, did you know what become of this man?
HE WAS MURDERED. The worst part of it all, his murder is still unsolved and it happened in a relatively safe country called Singapore.
You would be thinking what did this poor old man do to be given such a fate?
Then we have this thousands of people who lead such dishonest living to support their lavish lifestyle and 'best' of all, many of them know to dodge the bullet by going through the loopholes or what not. Let's not even go to those people with lavish lifestyle but ordinary people like you and me.
I haven't been leading an honest life recently and I felt so guilty over it. I wanted to change for good but unfortunately, circumstances drove me to do things that I would never have done.
I don't wish to dive into details about what I do and I am not proud of them. I have made mistakes and I suppose all those little dishonest things that I have done, I am paying for them now.
I wanted to be able to spend a little bit more than what I am earning and I resorted to getting 4 credit cards. I haven't been paying them and they have been after me for payments. I had to borrow money and I know that I couldn't possibly return in one lump sum. It's just like a never ending battle for me but I do sincerely want to put an end to this misery of mine.
Because of this, I had to do some things that I am not proud of.
I wouldn't say that what I've done is so horrible but I do feel horrible for doing it. Somehow karma will come after me. You know what they say...that if you love your family, you will do anything for them. Yes you can do that but really, don't do things that will get you into trouble and eventually affect your family. To me, I don't think that I've done things that will put me behind bars so don't worry. But those things have put a dent on my spirits and I swear after this ordeal is over, I hope things will be back to normal for me.
My next plan is to hope that I will get the transfer that I want to a better scheme with a better salary and okay this may sound a bit odd, I hope that I don't get promoted. I've mentioned before in my blog the reason why I hope I don't get promoted this year though I think it is highly likely I don't since I only got a C for last year's performance.
I hope that I will get a tidy sum after they back track the payments from Feb and I will use part of it to pay for at least one of the credit card outstanding bills in FULL. There was one time ago where I had to take a loan and I couldn't pay and they kept chasing for payment and eventually, out of the blue, I got some retrenchment money and I IMMEDIATELY paid off the outstanding amount and my ordeal was officially over. I still had quite a lot left so it didn't affect me that much.
My biggest mistake was that I didn't use my December bonus to at least settle one of the cards. I didn't know what I was thinking. I guess if I hadn't gone on the KL trip, I could have at least settled some amount.
But what can I do now. I do have a solution to this problem which will partially solve it and I will try to call them and make alternative payment arrangements. I hope I don't get into legal trouble for it. I really don't.
I still have a stash of money from my performance bonus and my brother's quarterly maintenance amount. We have used some of the money already but with my recent salary, I had so called top up the amount that I have spent so far so this month, I have a little bit more than what I have every month.
However, I need to learn to use sparingly and to make use of the food vouchers that I have. I don't even want to use the money to buy any more paper craft items. I had gone early this week already to buy them even though my salary was not in yet but because they were having a promotion so I got what I wanted at a heavily discounted price so I'm good.
The only two things I've got that amounted to almost $29 for myself is the maybelline bad to the bronze eyeshadow which I have always wanted but has not hit the shores yet and the Oil of Olay anti aging cream. I still have some more face moisturizer but the cheaper kind from the same brand. This one costs $26 at a normal drug store but costs around $22 in a hypermarket. But from the supermarket opposite my flat, I managed to get it at $14.60 from the original price of $20.90. The eyeshadow cream which I have yet to receive costs $14 and for a size like that and the great colour pay off, I think it's worth it. I would say that this will be my last cosmetics purchase because so far, I don't have anything in mind yet what I want. Plus I don't think I need any more cosmetics. Plus I need to use the money for other things.
The rest of the money will be spent on the family for like the next one month or so including paying for my brother's O level fees. I really hope that they will approve my financial assistance application because it will be of such great help.
Okay that's it for now. Financially I am in trouble but I am still quite stoked about my upcoming online shop which I hope to launch by 1st of May. Do look out for it and do give me your support :)
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