Younger or Older Me
since im in the mood for blogging and i cant stay out of the room coz of my brother who panics easily when he is alone...and I finished reading all the episode guides for supernatural..hehe..so im left with some things that I feel like typing. i check my friendster account everyday and nope..im not obssessed over it unlike my other ex colleagues who have this strange obssession with this social networking thingey that everyday they surely have some things posted up. yesterday I put an old photo of me with some of my other colleagues as the primary photo because I just feel like doing that and who cares if im not gonna get any viewership after that. but i must agree that friendster...if used wisely and not as some personal shrine for your would-be fans..it is rather useful especially when you're out looking for old pals from school or your old working places. I myself am surprised at times when there are people who stumbled upon my friendster and they used to know me at some point of my life. Unfortunately, I am not very keen on tracing back my past but i'll just add them for the heck of it. I like to mix old and new photos of mine like some kind of personal galleria because im not ashamed of how I look like then and now although mz admit that i definitely look older now and no longer look like Im barely out of teenagehood.
But this is only through my own perspective because Im baffled at times when people think that Im still in my early twenties..or worse...in my late teens. Like recently, I was outfield and in the school office using their phoneline and about to wrap up work on my laptop when the supervisor asked me if I was a student. I said no and I did the screening of the students earlier on. She said she knew that but if Im a student on attachment with them. I was like..what the hell is she talking about..do I look like a trainee to her..so I still said no and she looked puzzled and was like..'uhm...oo..kay...' and walked away. I did not know what made her say that unless she was looking at my partner and the driver just outside the office talking to each other while they were packing up and figured that they looked older than me. At another school, the principal was a tad bit friendlier than normal and told us a bit about her family background and then she looked at me and asked if I was married. I said no...and she said good because it is better to stay single nowadays because children can create problems and may forget you when they grow up. Normally, I dont get such questions because they always assume that Im married until I said I don't have children and I am not married. I've always thought that I had a married look...u know...the tired kind of look where Im too pooped trying to juggle with family and work commitments. There are other times too but I don't want to mention them to avoid swelling of me head..haha...Well, whatever people..coz it's good to be mistaken as younger rather than older even though I begged to differ if I show them my older photos when I still had that youthful radiance. For example, a beaming smile across my face or a wink showing how excited I was taking photos with close friends or colleagues.
By the way, earlier on I talked about my driver who felt more at ease talking to me whether on the phone or in person like a friend maybe coz Im younger so easier to interact. Actually, I didn't realise it or even if I did I just dismissed it because was thinking if he was just being friendly to everyone and not just me. But the more I think about it...I guess it can be true that he's being extra friendly to me and Im not quite used to it since like I said, other drivers prior to him had acted aloof around me like who cares about my existence and who cares if Im the one co-ordinating with them. They were just more interested in teasing or making friendly chats with my partners no matter who by calling them endearing nicknames or what have they got to say. Yes, and bullying me too which I had expressed my unhappiness at times especially when it happened on more than one occasions because after trying to be flexible with them, all I got was some harsh words. If I got flustered and they noticed it, they said they were just joking and I could not take a joke. I CANNOT take a joke?! Here I was helping them as requested and tried to lessen their burden a bit where I can but when I asked some things from them or a favour, they raised their voice at me.
At times I felt so un-pretty or un-petite especially when I was partnered with a colleague around my age who does better in the physical appearance department and the drivers were so biased against me. It was so f**king obvious. So I expected this driver to be of the same calibre as them in a way that he would definitely start glueing himself to the ones that can interact better with him. But turned out he is not even though initially, he did not talk much with me the first week we started screening which I did not oppose to lah compared to the other rude ones. So now I have to get used to him talking to me like a friend on the phone and in person rather than in a robotic manner especially if my partner was busy doing other things. He would also sound shy-ish when talking to my other colleagues so yup...who is the SHY one now huh? hee...
Haiz..things get turned around a bit for now and what to do....I have to start learning how to interact with guys better all because of this driver. Oh well, can be my imagination too. I shall see how it goes.
But this is only through my own perspective because Im baffled at times when people think that Im still in my early twenties..or worse...in my late teens. Like recently, I was outfield and in the school office using their phoneline and about to wrap up work on my laptop when the supervisor asked me if I was a student. I said no and I did the screening of the students earlier on. She said she knew that but if Im a student on attachment with them. I was like..what the hell is she talking about..do I look like a trainee to her..so I still said no and she looked puzzled and was like..'uhm...oo..kay...' and walked away. I did not know what made her say that unless she was looking at my partner and the driver just outside the office talking to each other while they were packing up and figured that they looked older than me. At another school, the principal was a tad bit friendlier than normal and told us a bit about her family background and then she looked at me and asked if I was married. I said no...and she said good because it is better to stay single nowadays because children can create problems and may forget you when they grow up. Normally, I dont get such questions because they always assume that Im married until I said I don't have children and I am not married. I've always thought that I had a married look...u know...the tired kind of look where Im too pooped trying to juggle with family and work commitments. There are other times too but I don't want to mention them to avoid swelling of me head..haha...Well, whatever people..coz it's good to be mistaken as younger rather than older even though I begged to differ if I show them my older photos when I still had that youthful radiance. For example, a beaming smile across my face or a wink showing how excited I was taking photos with close friends or colleagues.
By the way, earlier on I talked about my driver who felt more at ease talking to me whether on the phone or in person like a friend maybe coz Im younger so easier to interact. Actually, I didn't realise it or even if I did I just dismissed it because was thinking if he was just being friendly to everyone and not just me. But the more I think about it...I guess it can be true that he's being extra friendly to me and Im not quite used to it since like I said, other drivers prior to him had acted aloof around me like who cares about my existence and who cares if Im the one co-ordinating with them. They were just more interested in teasing or making friendly chats with my partners no matter who by calling them endearing nicknames or what have they got to say. Yes, and bullying me too which I had expressed my unhappiness at times especially when it happened on more than one occasions because after trying to be flexible with them, all I got was some harsh words. If I got flustered and they noticed it, they said they were just joking and I could not take a joke. I CANNOT take a joke?! Here I was helping them as requested and tried to lessen their burden a bit where I can but when I asked some things from them or a favour, they raised their voice at me.
At times I felt so un-pretty or un-petite especially when I was partnered with a colleague around my age who does better in the physical appearance department and the drivers were so biased against me. It was so f**king obvious. So I expected this driver to be of the same calibre as them in a way that he would definitely start glueing himself to the ones that can interact better with him. But turned out he is not even though initially, he did not talk much with me the first week we started screening which I did not oppose to lah compared to the other rude ones. So now I have to get used to him talking to me like a friend on the phone and in person rather than in a robotic manner especially if my partner was busy doing other things. He would also sound shy-ish when talking to my other colleagues so yup...who is the SHY one now huh? hee...
Haiz..things get turned around a bit for now and what to do....I have to start learning how to interact with guys better all because of this driver. Oh well, can be my imagination too. I shall see how it goes.
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