Baffled
I have decided to rewrite this entry. But even quick summaries over some of the things that happened or were said to me would seem long when put together.
In short, I just want to say that it has been a rough week. Im just baffled over some people's attitude. I could list down whatever they had done to me and then you tell me if their behaviour is justified. HOnestly, by so called dragging or just rambling non stop, I actually feel better because I get to say out whatever things that I keep inside. Seriously, if people are put off by it, I dont think they should read and that's fine coz my objective is not to find popularity in the blogosphere or attract any potential hunkies or sponsorship.
The week went well initially but in between, it started to go downhill. A toxic friend came back into my life and I didn't think that she would acknowledge me coz if I remember correctly, throughout the ten years that I lost touch with her, it was not the first time I met her outside by chance. I didn't know what prompted her to say hello to me, get all excited, obtained my phone number and then started short messaging me. Myself? I was not keen at all and I am not about to reform any friendship with her but me..as usual...being the nice girl that I am, just merely gave my number but I didn't save her number.
I didnt doubt her sincerity..I really didn't. People do change especially if there were some things that happened to them later that made them realise what a fool they had been and how much hurt they had caused to other people. But honestly, I just did not want to reconcile with my past anymore so it was not so much of her..but more of me.
Still, just within two days, I realised that she had not changed at all. She was manipulative as ever using 'friendship' as a basis to do for her favours. She was rather persistent at first insisting that I join some scheme and even after telling her that I was not interested, she still insisted I followed her 'as a friend' coz she needed to bring someone along..but to me..that sounded like I would be used as a potential client. Gawd..I was thinking to myself...since when did I become your friend? And man..was she fast. It only took her one chance meeting to take advantage of me! It's just not gonna happen!
She sounded rather contradicting at first claiming that she knows about this scheme and can tell me what it is all about if she can call me up because it is a secret which she was told to keep. When I said that it was okay if she could not tell me coz I couldn't 'make it' anyway. It was then she started to become aggressive in her approach saying that no it is not that top secret after all and became a bugger as she was desperate to find a date to meet me.
I've had enough of such rubbish anymore....
Moving on, another friend of mine started to make noise too coz she felt that I often could not make it whenever she asked to go out. Seriously, I just don't like last minute thing like this asking me out on that very day itself. She knows how my mum is like but at the same time, I don't think she can understand it or she can't accept it. Im sure she has such moments too where she would be too caught up with family affairs and her school affairs but I never complain. I just find that whenever she is free with her time that she will kinda turn things the other way around and be a bit demanding that I have to spend time with her ever so often. That is until she becomes busy again.
She said I used my mum as an excuse but instead I would go out with other people instead. For the last time, she doesn't own me. Sometimes I get super irritated at such accusations just because she happened to ask me out on the day I had to meet some other people. Now she's saying Im just like her previous friends who had no time for her. Stop comparing me to anyone else okay? I did not take advantage of her like them...it's just not me to ask anyone out and not just her because I just find asking my mum to go out too bothersome. Even that got her irritated as well coz she said fine...then she would never ask me out ever again if it's too bothersome for me.
I just wanted to give up. Whatever I say seem to be wrong so I just have to put up a false front and pretend that I am not affected by all this. I told her plainly that okay....I meet her on so and so day and at so and so time just to show her that it is not in my intention to always turn her away but I can only make it if I can arrange it earlier. That is all.
I am just sooooooooo emotionally tired. I have not even started talking about my colleague who drives me up the wall with her infatuation with our driver more than ten years younger than her. Look, I am not against her liking dennis coz we all like him as he is a nice and friendly guy and efficient at the same time. An additional factor will be he is handsome..and that even caught the attention of other colleagues not within our cluster.
But darn it...why must she drag us into this whole infatuation thingey with him? Who was she to be bossy with us or be demanding to Dennis? WHy...we will ruin her chances with the newly married man is it? I thought that I am the one who is supposed to be the baffling idiot and not coming from someone considered mature enough since she is twenty years older than me. She was not like this before but within late last week, started to be such a freaking asshole with her uncalled for demands. How can she turn up at another team after taking a free ride in his van and then demand they finish up their work quickly so that he wont be kept waiting? They did not even call him you know until she and her partner showed up at their school. After that Dennis was told to send them to some other place for their lunch.
I seriously had no idea what was going on between him and the other teams except I only know that they had taken rides in his van a few times before. And he's also the type who is not aggressive enough so it is easy to take advantage of and it's not surprising if he is asked to fetch them from school to some lunch place and then back again to school like he has no better things to do like that.
That Friday's incident was too much I tell you and I know she was not happy with me for 'ruining' her plans to take the free rides in his van. Look, if it was just her and her partner..I don't care. But don't tell me the rest of us were gonna squeeze into the back of the van along with the rest of the equipments from two teams and mind you, they were not made from fluffy cotton okay? They are big and heavy equipments. Even after Dennis had drove off to Toa Payoh where we were also heading, twice I tell you..TWICE...she wanted to make the attempt to call him to come back and fetch us all. What the f**k?! And she blamed me for being 'too shy'! We were not even f**king lost okay!
It was not even the last episode of her infatuation with him. The best thing is that she would try to make me call him to insist he join us for lunch even though earlier another colleague had asked and he said he just had his breakfast. Yah.....pfftt...at almost 12pm?! This coming from a guy who was often concerned if we had our lunch or why we had not gone for lunch first before continuing with work or was shocked because he thought the packet of biscuits I had packed into my bag was lunch.
Earlier on, usually he would be 'auto' like help to pack whatever that had not been packed yet. But the minute he helped to pack the printer, he just sat down and I was like..puzzled...coz that was not like him to just sit around when things were clearly still out in the open. Then he started asking me whereabouts is this block 1 from so and so drive. I said I don't know. Then he started to ask me if I believed in ghosts which I was thinking...hrm..should i answer that..of which he confessed saying that he had not seen ghosts before.
I had no time to entertain him coz that goon and her colleague were waiting outside as well so I had to hurry up as they might be hungry. But he continued to ask me if I had seen ghosts before...I hesitated because I didn't want to scare him coz he looked nervous so I just said that no...coz ghosts are scared of me. He laughed and started to loosen up a bit and then suddenly he remembered he forgot to pack the lightbox. Good coz I certainly needed help around here.
Anyway, it didn't stop right there and I left my colleague the task of entertaining him while I finished up whatever paperwork was left. In the midst of it, he asked me if I wanted to go to the school..within the haunted church...and I said I would but only to videocam. Then he said okay then I should go there but told him I was just joking and would back out the minute I stepped into the church.
But later on, I just asked in general who had tried to scare him with the info about the school coz don't blame him if he decided not to go there coz he is now scared. Well, that woman confessed saying that she didn't say there were ghosts but only told him to be careful when walking in there and say his prayers. And then she also said that one of us can 'see'. Pfft...yah...see what? Underwear is it? Please lah...isn't it obvious already that you were indirectly telling him that the church is haunted?! Obviously she felt guilty about it when I said that he was scared where she then attempted to call him in the midst of lunch just to give him assurance. That was the time she passed the phone to my partner as soon as he picked up as if my partner was the one responsible for making him distressed. Then my partner told her that at least she could have told him later after chinese new year because it can be bad luck telling him such info before the celebrations.
I wanted to talk about my mum's attitude towards me that doesnt seem to change whether Im at home or outside. And how she is always finding fault in me even though I meant well because she just cannot be corrected. One thing will lead to another and she would refuse to talk to me and start nitpicking on me. Whatever lah. She will always think that she is a perfect being while the rest of us are full of sins. For now, Im slowly recovering from external woes.....so Im not about to start on the problems within my family.
In short, I just want to say that it has been a rough week. Im just baffled over some people's attitude. I could list down whatever they had done to me and then you tell me if their behaviour is justified. HOnestly, by so called dragging or just rambling non stop, I actually feel better because I get to say out whatever things that I keep inside. Seriously, if people are put off by it, I dont think they should read and that's fine coz my objective is not to find popularity in the blogosphere or attract any potential hunkies or sponsorship.
The week went well initially but in between, it started to go downhill. A toxic friend came back into my life and I didn't think that she would acknowledge me coz if I remember correctly, throughout the ten years that I lost touch with her, it was not the first time I met her outside by chance. I didn't know what prompted her to say hello to me, get all excited, obtained my phone number and then started short messaging me. Myself? I was not keen at all and I am not about to reform any friendship with her but me..as usual...being the nice girl that I am, just merely gave my number but I didn't save her number.
I didnt doubt her sincerity..I really didn't. People do change especially if there were some things that happened to them later that made them realise what a fool they had been and how much hurt they had caused to other people. But honestly, I just did not want to reconcile with my past anymore so it was not so much of her..but more of me.
Still, just within two days, I realised that she had not changed at all. She was manipulative as ever using 'friendship' as a basis to do for her favours. She was rather persistent at first insisting that I join some scheme and even after telling her that I was not interested, she still insisted I followed her 'as a friend' coz she needed to bring someone along..but to me..that sounded like I would be used as a potential client. Gawd..I was thinking to myself...since when did I become your friend? And man..was she fast. It only took her one chance meeting to take advantage of me! It's just not gonna happen!
She sounded rather contradicting at first claiming that she knows about this scheme and can tell me what it is all about if she can call me up because it is a secret which she was told to keep. When I said that it was okay if she could not tell me coz I couldn't 'make it' anyway. It was then she started to become aggressive in her approach saying that no it is not that top secret after all and became a bugger as she was desperate to find a date to meet me.
I've had enough of such rubbish anymore....
Moving on, another friend of mine started to make noise too coz she felt that I often could not make it whenever she asked to go out. Seriously, I just don't like last minute thing like this asking me out on that very day itself. She knows how my mum is like but at the same time, I don't think she can understand it or she can't accept it. Im sure she has such moments too where she would be too caught up with family affairs and her school affairs but I never complain. I just find that whenever she is free with her time that she will kinda turn things the other way around and be a bit demanding that I have to spend time with her ever so often. That is until she becomes busy again.
She said I used my mum as an excuse but instead I would go out with other people instead. For the last time, she doesn't own me. Sometimes I get super irritated at such accusations just because she happened to ask me out on the day I had to meet some other people. Now she's saying Im just like her previous friends who had no time for her. Stop comparing me to anyone else okay? I did not take advantage of her like them...it's just not me to ask anyone out and not just her because I just find asking my mum to go out too bothersome. Even that got her irritated as well coz she said fine...then she would never ask me out ever again if it's too bothersome for me.
I just wanted to give up. Whatever I say seem to be wrong so I just have to put up a false front and pretend that I am not affected by all this. I told her plainly that okay....I meet her on so and so day and at so and so time just to show her that it is not in my intention to always turn her away but I can only make it if I can arrange it earlier. That is all.
I am just sooooooooo emotionally tired. I have not even started talking about my colleague who drives me up the wall with her infatuation with our driver more than ten years younger than her. Look, I am not against her liking dennis coz we all like him as he is a nice and friendly guy and efficient at the same time. An additional factor will be he is handsome..and that even caught the attention of other colleagues not within our cluster.
But darn it...why must she drag us into this whole infatuation thingey with him? Who was she to be bossy with us or be demanding to Dennis? WHy...we will ruin her chances with the newly married man is it? I thought that I am the one who is supposed to be the baffling idiot and not coming from someone considered mature enough since she is twenty years older than me. She was not like this before but within late last week, started to be such a freaking asshole with her uncalled for demands. How can she turn up at another team after taking a free ride in his van and then demand they finish up their work quickly so that he wont be kept waiting? They did not even call him you know until she and her partner showed up at their school. After that Dennis was told to send them to some other place for their lunch.
I seriously had no idea what was going on between him and the other teams except I only know that they had taken rides in his van a few times before. And he's also the type who is not aggressive enough so it is easy to take advantage of and it's not surprising if he is asked to fetch them from school to some lunch place and then back again to school like he has no better things to do like that.
That Friday's incident was too much I tell you and I know she was not happy with me for 'ruining' her plans to take the free rides in his van. Look, if it was just her and her partner..I don't care. But don't tell me the rest of us were gonna squeeze into the back of the van along with the rest of the equipments from two teams and mind you, they were not made from fluffy cotton okay? They are big and heavy equipments. Even after Dennis had drove off to Toa Payoh where we were also heading, twice I tell you..TWICE...she wanted to make the attempt to call him to come back and fetch us all. What the f**k?! And she blamed me for being 'too shy'! We were not even f**king lost okay!
It was not even the last episode of her infatuation with him. The best thing is that she would try to make me call him to insist he join us for lunch even though earlier another colleague had asked and he said he just had his breakfast. Yah.....pfftt...at almost 12pm?! This coming from a guy who was often concerned if we had our lunch or why we had not gone for lunch first before continuing with work or was shocked because he thought the packet of biscuits I had packed into my bag was lunch.
Earlier on, usually he would be 'auto' like help to pack whatever that had not been packed yet. But the minute he helped to pack the printer, he just sat down and I was like..puzzled...coz that was not like him to just sit around when things were clearly still out in the open. Then he started asking me whereabouts is this block 1 from so and so drive. I said I don't know. Then he started to ask me if I believed in ghosts which I was thinking...hrm..should i answer that..of which he confessed saying that he had not seen ghosts before.
I had no time to entertain him coz that goon and her colleague were waiting outside as well so I had to hurry up as they might be hungry. But he continued to ask me if I had seen ghosts before...I hesitated because I didn't want to scare him coz he looked nervous so I just said that no...coz ghosts are scared of me. He laughed and started to loosen up a bit and then suddenly he remembered he forgot to pack the lightbox. Good coz I certainly needed help around here.
Anyway, it didn't stop right there and I left my colleague the task of entertaining him while I finished up whatever paperwork was left. In the midst of it, he asked me if I wanted to go to the school..within the haunted church...and I said I would but only to videocam. Then he said okay then I should go there but told him I was just joking and would back out the minute I stepped into the church.
But later on, I just asked in general who had tried to scare him with the info about the school coz don't blame him if he decided not to go there coz he is now scared. Well, that woman confessed saying that she didn't say there were ghosts but only told him to be careful when walking in there and say his prayers. And then she also said that one of us can 'see'. Pfft...yah...see what? Underwear is it? Please lah...isn't it obvious already that you were indirectly telling him that the church is haunted?! Obviously she felt guilty about it when I said that he was scared where she then attempted to call him in the midst of lunch just to give him assurance. That was the time she passed the phone to my partner as soon as he picked up as if my partner was the one responsible for making him distressed. Then my partner told her that at least she could have told him later after chinese new year because it can be bad luck telling him such info before the celebrations.
I wanted to talk about my mum's attitude towards me that doesnt seem to change whether Im at home or outside. And how she is always finding fault in me even though I meant well because she just cannot be corrected. One thing will lead to another and she would refuse to talk to me and start nitpicking on me. Whatever lah. She will always think that she is a perfect being while the rest of us are full of sins. For now, Im slowly recovering from external woes.....so Im not about to start on the problems within my family.
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