Ugly Days
hey..you know what? I jz realised that it has been ages since I last updated you about my progess in terms of being..well..slimmer..hehe. I can tell you that the progress has been good. Let me see if I can backtrack a bit and dig out the blog post i wrote about the very first kg i ever lost. Forget about the kgs I gained back few months later..hehe. But it marked the initial attempts of mine to lose weight. I would say that it wasnt easy in a whole big way. The temptations were sky high. But if you wanna lose weight, and you stay focus, it actually makes you feel stronger especially when you look at ur weight and see how it keep on falling and falling. Then all the efforts you put in, the hard work, the sweat..makes it all worth it coz you know what? It can only mean one thing...shopping for nicer clothes and bigger confidence! So I tell ya..shake off ur worries and ur laziness! If for years, you havent been exercising or eating healthily, worse...thinking that the weight will never come off and you will forever be like that...stop that thought! If i can do it, I dont see why not u. I used to be very big..and I dare say that at my heaviest point, I was 10 kg heavier than my last weight taken when I left school. It stuck with me for a few years until recently. Now I weigh lesser than I used to weigh back then in pre university. Still a rather long way before I am almost my ideal weight but what the hell...I know i can do it and I am here to spur you on.
And I wanna thank all my friends and colleagues who had been giving me positive comments about my weight loss. Although I am still not within the satisfied range that I sorta overlooked the fact that I was lighter than when I first started, they are quite right ah..hehe. Well, the view up here cannot really see how much I lost weight lah. Plus, I had brainwashed myself for so long that I was never big. Until I looked at the pics. Other than that, I refused to believe how big I became. Once I touch back on reality, and see for myself in the mirror, I realised that I got to do something.
Even though people still think that I had some help like slimming pills, health shake watever, and also refusing to believe that gym could not have helped me lost weight, I dont give a damn. It bit me initially that people were overlooking the hardship I went through giving up so many things..including..sniff..chocos....but over the time, I dont really care. Say what they want to say or believe, for me..... I dont stay back after work and come back home 8 plus after going to the gym to cover up the fact that I had more help than going to the gym. If i want to pretend, I wouldnt have bothered to stay back and go back 7.30 ish when everyone had gone home when the clock struck 5.30pm. If they dont believe that exercising has helped me significantly, they obviously haven't seen the dramatic changes in my eating patterns. Then F them..I am still going strong. I am winning this war, and if they havent done anything but keep saying and saying over wanting to lose weight, who is at loss now.
Anyway, enough about that. You know what..there were two things that I wanted to highlight about. But now..come to think of it, I jz got my monthly cleo subscription (and dammit, I didnt win dec contests!) and they had this really interesting article. For me, Im pharking ugly lah..but during my teen years, it was worse. Like u are supposed to blossom into this pretty young thing that make men in their twenties weak in their knees with our lolita charm. But I thought I looked older than I am which actually continued on till my early twenties. No one would ever believe me if I told them I was 18 or 19 or 21 even. They had this disbelief on their face...like they couldn't have gotten their calculations wrong somewhere.
I did like a truckload of things to erase that stigma like wearing pink and wearing clothes a size smaller than I was. Oh, and wearing cardigans lotsa time to hide my bulk. Then I came to my realisation that I was making a fool out of myself and at one point of time, I detested pink so much. I was in black after that or in dark blue. I kept on gaining weight till it was out of control and my complexion was blah....I had this gloomy dark complexion like an unpolished kettle..haha..I couldnt be bothered by anythinglah. I had evolved into this 'I dont give a damn' mode.
Now I *cough*..approaching..*cough*...a certain age, I actually looked a tad better. Only a wee bit..haha..but okaylah. I am still battling weight problems and as my waistline gets smaller now. Fuwah..cant believe, lost 7 inches...with the last two inches off jz recently. Oh, anyway, though my stomach is flatter than previously...it is still thick with fat lah..hehe...and I am like..argh!! Cant get rid of it yet! But I heard that the stomach is harder to lose...but hell, as long as I can fit the new skirts, well..it's only a matter of time..haha.
Hey, let me present to you some pics....
This is me with an impromptu class photo in year 2000. Me with my uhm...'diana ross'..hairstyle.
This is me like a few months before im 21. That was in year 2002
This was taken last sunday at my friend's open house. A bit better only lah but like I said, I still dont quite fancy my stomach. The skirt was given by my very nice friend who gave me some of her clothes and also an encouraging note when I lost my very first 1 kg. KNow what? You're my inspiration! When I first wore the skirt, it was a struggle, then it got a bit easier but still quite tight that it hiked up a bit. Now, I worry if it's gonna drop..haha!! But i love the skirt!
Same day..or rather night...around 9 plus after visiting my dad at the hospital.
So..what do you think? Anyway, I dont see myself as a babe or what..or gorgeous..infact, they're probably camera tricks...haha! U know how the flash works and everything.. (*_*) yes..blinDing.
And I wanna thank all my friends and colleagues who had been giving me positive comments about my weight loss. Although I am still not within the satisfied range that I sorta overlooked the fact that I was lighter than when I first started, they are quite right ah..hehe. Well, the view up here cannot really see how much I lost weight lah. Plus, I had brainwashed myself for so long that I was never big. Until I looked at the pics. Other than that, I refused to believe how big I became. Once I touch back on reality, and see for myself in the mirror, I realised that I got to do something.
Even though people still think that I had some help like slimming pills, health shake watever, and also refusing to believe that gym could not have helped me lost weight, I dont give a damn. It bit me initially that people were overlooking the hardship I went through giving up so many things..including..sniff..chocos....but over the time, I dont really care. Say what they want to say or believe, for me..... I dont stay back after work and come back home 8 plus after going to the gym to cover up the fact that I had more help than going to the gym. If i want to pretend, I wouldnt have bothered to stay back and go back 7.30 ish when everyone had gone home when the clock struck 5.30pm. If they dont believe that exercising has helped me significantly, they obviously haven't seen the dramatic changes in my eating patterns. Then F them..I am still going strong. I am winning this war, and if they havent done anything but keep saying and saying over wanting to lose weight, who is at loss now.
Anyway, enough about that. You know what..there were two things that I wanted to highlight about. But now..come to think of it, I jz got my monthly cleo subscription (and dammit, I didnt win dec contests!) and they had this really interesting article. For me, Im pharking ugly lah..but during my teen years, it was worse. Like u are supposed to blossom into this pretty young thing that make men in their twenties weak in their knees with our lolita charm. But I thought I looked older than I am which actually continued on till my early twenties. No one would ever believe me if I told them I was 18 or 19 or 21 even. They had this disbelief on their face...like they couldn't have gotten their calculations wrong somewhere.
I did like a truckload of things to erase that stigma like wearing pink and wearing clothes a size smaller than I was. Oh, and wearing cardigans lotsa time to hide my bulk. Then I came to my realisation that I was making a fool out of myself and at one point of time, I detested pink so much. I was in black after that or in dark blue. I kept on gaining weight till it was out of control and my complexion was blah....I had this gloomy dark complexion like an unpolished kettle..haha..I couldnt be bothered by anythinglah. I had evolved into this 'I dont give a damn' mode.
Now I *cough*..approaching..*cough*...a certain age, I actually looked a tad better. Only a wee bit..haha..but okaylah. I am still battling weight problems and as my waistline gets smaller now. Fuwah..cant believe, lost 7 inches...with the last two inches off jz recently. Oh, anyway, though my stomach is flatter than previously...it is still thick with fat lah..hehe...and I am like..argh!! Cant get rid of it yet! But I heard that the stomach is harder to lose...but hell, as long as I can fit the new skirts, well..it's only a matter of time..haha.
Hey, let me present to you some pics....
This is me with an impromptu class photo in year 2000. Me with my uhm...'diana ross'..hairstyle.
This is me like a few months before im 21. That was in year 2002
This was taken last sunday at my friend's open house. A bit better only lah but like I said, I still dont quite fancy my stomach. The skirt was given by my very nice friend who gave me some of her clothes and also an encouraging note when I lost my very first 1 kg. KNow what? You're my inspiration! When I first wore the skirt, it was a struggle, then it got a bit easier but still quite tight that it hiked up a bit. Now, I worry if it's gonna drop..haha!! But i love the skirt!
Same day..or rather night...around 9 plus after visiting my dad at the hospital.
So..what do you think? Anyway, I dont see myself as a babe or what..or gorgeous..infact, they're probably camera tricks...haha! U know how the flash works and everything.. (*_*) yes..blinDing.
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