Monday, March 14, 2016

When Achieving Body Confidence is Hard

This isn't the first time I'm addressing this issue but I thought it's worth revisiting as it will also help me clear some thoughts on it. I've been battling weight issues for the longest time ever and though at one point, I thought I had it under control, but after I stopped the medication, it's been nothing but a struggle although I kept the habits such as going to the gym, walking as a form of exercise and avoiding sinful (but oh so yummeh) food at bay like you'll never see me eating a coconut milk rich food again. 

Still, it's been a struggle. I've  had a love hate relationship with food although I do enjoy my food especially food that I don't often eat and it's a welcome change from oatmeal which honestly, is a nasty tasting food, lol.  I try to be committed to eating at least 3 weekdays but I kept going at just 2 although if you asked me, that's a huge improvement already since there was one period last year where I stopped eating completely although preparation wasn't so hard as I tried to make the process as simple as I could. Basically, it was just oats, flaxseed and water. No milk and I guess that was why it isn't as tasty as a regular food but the benefits are a lot. It's just me, haha.

But at least one improvement is that I am consuming more plain water during lunch and after lunch and while I started struggling again with drinking as well you know, it's plain without the added sugar, I had to force myself to finish the bottle before topping it up again. 

Come to think of all this, it's just a matter of overcoming the mental part of it. Forget about the tastelenssness of plain ol' oatmeal and plain water. Think about the health benefits for the long run. Suffer now and enjoy later. I don't want to be bogged down by numerous health ailments as I grow older. The way food is being prepared nowadays where we're actually consuming more and more processed food is very scary. People focus more on entertaining their tastebuds instead of thinking about health because well, we only live once and we might as well enjoy the food we eat. That is true but it's also about having a balanced meal too and balancing those 'sinful' food with wholeseome food as well. 

I know that if I continue to eat right by cutting down on sugar and exercise regularly by including physical movement like walking on a daily basis, the weight will naturally drop off. But there's a slew of media influencers as well that are not exactly what I call on the lighter side, being on the plus size, but they are full of confidence and they want other girls to feel great at any size. I think that this is a good thing because of how we ladies tend to put ourselves down easily with our constant thoughts about our physical appearance that so much so, it can eat us up from inside and making us lose self esteem as though life is worthless because we don't look a certain size or body shape.

This also clashes with my belief about wanting to look slimmer so that clothes fit better on me which naturally gives me a boost of self confidence. I don't like having this extra tummy bulge or wobbly butt but I try not to think too much. I think about HOW I can improve on it so that I will look better. But while I am at it, I try to focus about the benefits my body is giving me right now rather than how it looks physically. To me, it's far better than to focus on how other girls look like. Instead of feeling down, I should feel motivated seeing how other people have managed to achieve their ideal weight or their physical appearance.

Don't get me wrong. To me, it's also about staying healthy because these girls who come across as plus size, they are active and they don't just sit on the couch, watch tv and just eat. They're naturally of that size and embrace them because they find that fretting over their physical appearance by caring about how they look constantly is making them very unhappy. Once they start to have body confidence, they achieve so much in life because they don't let other people dictate their happiness by stooping down to their level.

Again I emphasize that I don't wanna look so skinny but to look physically more pleasing, at least in my eyes while staying healthy, is a big plus for me as I feel like it's one step towards gaining body confidence. But I don't want to make it look like I will only be happy if I reach a certain weight or body shape. I wanna be happy in whatever size I am although to be frank, it's easier said than done but I do try my best not to let it 'get' me to a point I get so depressed. I just carry on life as per normal and concentrate on doing better in terms of making better food choices to nourish my body rather than just thinking about I wanna lose some weight. After all, my body is just a vessel to receive great things and this goes beyond eating healthy.

I hope you get my point and if you're somewhat in the same situation as me, don't give up and look forward instead to a healthier lifestyle rather than only looking forward to an ideal weight or body size :)

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