Celebrating Life..& Being Thankful for it

If you watch the news, you would have heard about the devastation caused by Haiyan Typhoon leaving thousands homeless and corpses strewn all over the streets, uncollected and unidentified. So sad. What's sad too, when young children lost their homes and their parents. If you can't imagine the horrific devastation the Haiyan Typhoon had caused in the Philippines, you can read about the news here, the tragic stories as told by the orphaned children.

Philippines Orphans Speak Out

I am not trying to gain readership for this post by speaking about this topic that many others would have covered. I am trying to do some self-reflection on myself. It's easy to think about oh, how lucky I am and in the next instance, I am back to being ungrateful and leading my life as though the world owes me.

I watched Philadelphia when I was young and I watched snippets of the movie online and it still brought tears to my eyes especially the hospital scene. Everyone went up to him and saying things like 'see ya tomorrow' and 'have a good night rest'...but knowing, his life was fading away. However, I completely broke down when one of them couldn't utter a single word but simply hugged him and sobbed. He just couldn't pretend that everything was well for him. They continued with the celebration of life in the ending scene after his passing and they threw a mini gathering at the family home. Everyone was simply celebrating life as it is, conversing happily with one another, with little children being carried around or playing.

When they played the home videos of him when he was young, full of innocence, it was so sad and poignant that this child grew up fighting for his human rights against discrimination which he later won.

I have a friend who went on her first solo trip to Northern Vietnam and the pictures she took were breathtaking. It was a personal breakthrough in her life as she ventured on her own, and while she still paid some amount for safety, she still did things like hitchhiking on a local's bike to popular tourist destination before returning back to the hotel. She has always been an avid traveller but this one marked  a significant point in her life, going solo where she had no one to lean to, accompany her and instead, she had to rely on her strong independence and intuition to help her along, in a village city no less.

While I go through ups and downs in life, like my current not-so-good state, I don't want to give up yet. I lacked grit in life. I lacked the determination to see how life would be better for me if I had planned my time well and do things to ensure a better life for me. I have done things that I am not proud of in life. I truly regret my actions and yes, during those times, I was desperate but after that, I made things right and they got better for me.

However, I don't know if I am continuously cursed to experience the wrath of my wrongdoings. But I believe it's simply because I know I tried hard; but not hard enough. When you want something, you go through leaps and bounds to ensure a better future and to achieve your goals. Sometimes I feel, I just didn't try hard enough. I let laziness overcome me. I let complacency over come me.

I don't want to experience a terrible jolt to get me out this vicious cycle of lacking the grit in me to overcome my current obstacles. This is, I believe, isn't for long. It is a struggle now but I know that if I don't dwell on it too much, and just continue to focus on a better future me, everything will fall into place. The universe will respond back. I will be able to finally reach my weight loss goal, make at least $200 from my online shop every month, be good in my studies and be promoted at work. I just have to continue this life journey with grit and determination and not let any setbacks get me down.

I simply want a better future for me and my family, without me thinking about where the money is going to come and if I ever will get orders from my online shop to supplement my current income. If you are facing the same financial situation as me, or in difficult situation whether family, relationship or etc, we can get through this. We can. Let's celebrate the gift of life.

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