Monday, August 20, 2012

Hope for A New Beginning

Honestly, I haven't had any ideas to write recently because my life is so messy now. I feel so troubled. I don't think anyone else can help me unless I get a certain windfall and have some moolah to help clear my debts. I shouldn't have landed myself in this deep sh*t but unfortunately I did and it hurts.

Since practically no one can help me, I just have to suffer alone. I basically just need about $1K to clear most of my debts. I tried to clear as much as I can when I got my bonus last month but there's only so much that I can clear because it's not all the time that I get that much of money so basically I used it to cover my household expenses.

Nowadays I tried not to spend too much money and just try to spend on necessary things. But the expenses for the fasting month has taken a toll on me and I see myself spending an average of $15 to $20 per day and it has been such a killer for me. However I'm glad to have it shaved to $10 plus today because today marks the first day of the celebratory month of Hari Raya. I don't go house visiting so I also save on travel expenses and the giving of money to children. While my household doesn't celebrate Hari Raya much like the rest of the muslim community where it's such a big eventful day for them, we have it so low key and that's also thanks to my mum who makes an effort to cook for us food which she has done so since two years ago. She started with one dish and now she has graduated to several dishes. I believe that is my saving grace in 'feeling' the Hari Raya mood. On top of that, she also made our favourite chocolate chip cookies. Super yums :)

This year she has taken one extra step by not using coconut milk. I thought that since I have been off coconut milk for several years (except for certain times I ate something I didn't have coconut milk), why not continue it throughout Hari Raya. Plus I certainly need to continue with my efforts of losing weight. I have no idea if I have lost weight during the fasting month but I'm hoping I do. The week on follow up to my first gym practice next Sunday after slightly more than a month, I hope to see some progress. I will make it my aim to lose several kilograms come year end celebration.

I almost fasted for a month until that time of the month strikes me :S on the second last day but it's okay, the battle was almost won anyway. I suffered from diarrhea the day before Hari Raya and gosh, tummy felt so  painful. I guess coz I had too much tom yam soup the night before..heh. I brought my two friends to Bali Thai because I thought it was a perfect restaurant for celebrating my friend's birthday who has Thai and Javanese blood in her. 

Well, however one celebrates Hari Raya, let it signify the beginning of a new cleansed life with hope for a better future. I may have failed in my attempt in my management of money but I hope in God's grace, I can be helped.


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