"Living Each Single Day"

*Gasping* What a day!! Okay, so I came across a few self help motivational books at a Popular bookshop last friday..i mean seriously, the bookshop is named that way (unless u want to associate the name to yours truly..like im 'rahayuthePOPULAR'..k..*fine*). So, you know how i liked to yak recently about not wanting to idle my time away infront of the pc although ironically, something else happened. Okay, what the motivational books taught me (at least from reading its coverpages and the backpages..hehe...) that time is money...time mz be well managed....in order to make the best use of time to either make money or to accomplish more things in life. Of coz, initially..I was interested in the idea of making money to become a millionaire but once I started to refocus (after a few distractions from other books as well..like why men have nipples), but then, I thought to myself what exactly do i want to achieve out of my life. The more I think, the more things I felt that I wanted to...

Well..i want to wish Jason Mraz a belated happie birthday to him! It was on June 23rd and he turned 29. Aaahh...that was why i dreamt about him. He was telling me that it was his birthday and what did i give for a birthday present? I dissed him! what the hell.. Who is this jason mraz guy u wonder? Okay he's this skinny guy (but like he said, he's fat full of rhymes..and i totally agree with his outstanding play of words!) who is tall and he eats, sleeps and breathes music. Plus he is totally un-celebrity like with his mischief that can get people in stitches! He self made this 3 min plus video clip called the IMR or the Invisible Microphone Report news..where he was pretending to hold this invisible microphone (hence, the name) like a reporter..and talking about how he had been awarded with Gold award plaque from Hard Rock Cafe after selling 500,000 albums. He went on about what the gold vinyl record behind the plaque actually is and did a mini investigation about it attempting...

Hey.. I admit i sounded rather harsh yesterday in my previous post..sometimes, I just don't understand why people think or say such things. dont they ever put themselves in other people's shoes and see how it's like being that person and if ever they are placed in the same situation, would they eventually break down like urs truly? Or is it easier to just point ur finger accusingly at the other person and assume that his or her mentality is that of a child? Sighzz..sometimes, i tell myself when I get rather mad or annoyed at certain people that hey..if not for these people, life would be rather boring. Everyone will have this great big giant smile on their face and we're like friends or even family to one another. For me..I'd rather be friends with the animals than with people..at least, they are not fake unless of coz they're doing their camoufla-ging thing. So, IF..ever people are made to be so freakin' perfect; each and every single one of them...I wouldn...

sianz..sianz..sianz..a chinese word which i don't know exactly what is the actual meaning of it in english but so far, what i can conclude is simply...a 'bloody freakin bored f**ked up life' which obviously yours truly is going through right now. Im sorry jason mraz..but ur song Life Is Wonderful..seemed rather useless to me at this point of time. Will it get better? I cant guarantee that. Worse? I am definitely betting my dollars on it. can people just cut some slack..and let ME..run my own show instead of being a puppet to their needs and wants..k, in my family, that will be CONSTANT HUNGER and CONSTANT ATTENTION. Gawd..I don't have a private jet plane like Mr Donald Trump and dont expect me to zoom back home straight after attending to their food orders of the day. I mean..come on....I have the right to see what I want to see coz I dont earn money just for the family but for my own needs as well. So what if i take my time to think if the skirt is worth buying because...

hello.. actually I dreaded today. Okay, I know u're thinking that it is probably over work..or my family..like what is else is new. Surprisingly no..although they are already an integral part of my life whether or not i like it. Still, I dread this day coz it is one of those 'i-can-never-eat-enough' days. And when I was reading the papers (uhm..ironically, i only read the Straits Times on Tuesdays jz for its Digital Life section), they had this article about binge drinking. Eh, that sounded awfully familiar except that I probably have heard of binge eating..but binge drinking? what on earth is that? Turned out that it's just talking about those pub crawlers who are on an overload of alcoholic drinks..and uhm..the reporter who did that article actually had to take note of the average distances between the pools of vomit spewed on one whole stretch of road lined with pubs...GAH!! And they're like..*bbrrpp*...everywhere! Forget about the distances! We're talking cl...

Hello... actually, i have no idea how to put this across coz my blog isn't that 'secretive' anymore...uhm, thanks to some curious georges around..hehe..But anyway, I shall put this across bluntly. Don't feel bad about it. I didn't mean to make you feel down or what and I know exactly how u feel coz im not that secured about myself too. It sucks, isnt it? But let me tell you..sometimes, when you look at it in another way, in a more positive way, maybe..jz maybe..it can make you think otherwise like if she can do it, why not me. And im not asking you to join crazy horse and bear ur boobies or something jz coz those ladies can do that (Singapore..pfft..crazy horse will be more like tamed horse anyway but that's another story). What im saying is..don't get yourself down too often. Tsk..im rambling like there's no tomorrow..probably enough to drive people away. Can I just go straight to the point? If you ask me, Im rather sick and tired of being told how I...

We all have our insecurities and yesh, I have retold time and time again, this thang..it grabs hold of us (gawd i'm being all 'brokeback' about this)..and then guess what? You're somehow delusional as to whether you're being all 'perfect' to people or you're just thinking u're not good enough. FOr me, I just feel that I ain't good enough. At least when it comes to guys. I just have this mentality that you have to be 'something'..in order to impress the opposite sex. I mean, I don't perceive myself as someone worth being loved...as what is attached to me is a boring and flat personality and that home, is where my heart lies. Im just not the 'beyond the doorstep of my home' type...straight into the envitable more fun stuffs like say..being part of the clubbing scene or whatever stuffs there are. Yesterday, my friend and I decided to check out this small porch outside Plaza Singapura where 98.7fm deejays were carrying a Singtel m...

Sometimes it is easy to misunderstand someone..to make sweeping statements...to make assumptions from the way the person behaves and how he or she sounds. But often, whatever we thought out the person to be is exactly the opposite of what the person actually is. People like me don't usually bother about what people think of me. So what if they think that im kinda proud to talk to them but in actual fact, I am nervous as hell to talk to them. I guess after years of experience of being put down or to be misunderstood, over time you don't really care. Fine if they know the real me once they actually bothered to listen to me yak instead of just taking pity of me and hear me out for the sake of hearing me out. But im thankful if they bother to get to know me and then realise hey, this girl isn't what I thought she is...infact, im hooked on her! Okay i just added that last part. So I would say that is how I assumed my step cousin to be. I have so many step cousins coz my late gra...

Okay, from today onwards, I am going to be more serious towards my blog. I know I haven't been writing with much seriousness, although writing passionately about Lt Horatio Caine in CSI:MIAMI undoubtfully IS serious stuff, I guess i should give more thoughts. I mean I still won't stray away from writing with both my heart and soul on things that affect me like my father's medical condition, our family's financial problems..that sort of stuffs..coz they are real and avoiding these issues is like refusing to do anything about it. And I do want to make a compilation of my writings and these writings are evidence of my eyes, my ears and my heart about life's ups and downs. Sorta like a mini biography except that I am not paying anyone to write the book for me. Okay so I don't have a life of envy or a life people would avoid like the plague...but this is my life and whether or not I like it, it is here to stay. And while it is here, might as well make use of it. Kin...

hey, know what? well yah..i havent been writing real stuffs..stuffs that are happening in my life..although I would say it's not that i have been whisked on some island with jason mraz crooning at my ears all day long..and night. Just that..uhm..it has been rather stressful. but Im hoping that it gets better. actually, I always hope for that. the only other thing I am hoping for is that the central provident fund is able to release my dad's retirement fund a bit earlie. I don't know if they are able to release it and if they do, I do hope that they don't be stingy about it. It is not because we're greedy or something...like we can't wait for him to turn to to 62, the average age of retirement in singapore, but it is so that my dad doesnt need to work as hard as before. I've talked about his medical condition and how it bothers me that he may not be able to work as he seems to get weaker and weaker. I would say his condition is slightly better since the day ...

You know what..i am so freakin' excited coz i jz entered a contest in regards to CSI:Miami! I love that show..dont mind me..and if you're into the original CSI series and view MY miami as lame, then...why are you even reading my blog? haha..narh, as much as I respect ur views, I don't like My miami to be lambasted like it doesn't deserve the airplay just as much as CSi original. I've said it before, and I'll say it again. All the three CSI series are great in their own way and caters to people with different views..different opinions..uhm..different mental threshold on the gruesomeness of the graphical forensics and dead bodies. Jerry Bruckhemier, creator of the three CSI series is a brilliant man..and he did make a huge huge effort differentiating all his shows while retaining the same concept. I don't say that CSI:Miami is the best of all (although I am so freakin' tempted to say that) but without the original series ending its one of the previous seas...

So today is the first day of june and I hope this is gonna be a whole lot better month than the previous one. Hey..what is this ah? One month good..one month not good. Tsk, as if my life is not complicated enough. Anyway, I actually planned to write this blog yesterday but I got distracted halfway. Uhm, was watching brokeback mountain again from the start instead of replaying certain scenes..hehe. Now, in case u think that Im a sick bitch seeing two guys in love with each other, Im not that. And yes, I am 'straight' and that guys..like aren't they God Sent or something? I've never seen a movie where the love is so pure..and that it doesn't appear like every 5 seconds or something. I mean too much affection can be so blah..anyway. It's great communication baby..and the long period of absence that make two people just yearning for each other. So, before I am gonna do the whole gawd damn paragraph about brokeback, actually, today isn't actually a good start of ...