"Yay! Got a New Opportunity!"
I am absolutely ecstatic. I have received a piece of good news through the mail..surprisingly on a Sunday..but then again, it's not everyday that my father opens the mailbox. My brother who had this habit of opening my letters..somehow missed out this letter and I was pretty thankful actually coz when I looked at the letter after telling him off for opening the letter...that somehow he didn't open this one. I had actually applied again for the teaching position at NIE even though I had been rejected before. And damn was it such a huge disappointment coz I thought I wasn't good enough for it. I felt that I didn't study enough to even get the chance to be interviewed. Yupz..that was how lowly I felt but of course..I couldn't give up. It took me months before something spurred me on again..though indirectly..to at least give this thing another chance. And I did without much of a hope..but I'd really wanted a change. Something that I have an interest in and not something that I am half hearted at doing but onlie continue to trudge on for the sake of paying off my bills.
And of course I was ecstatic when I was shortlisted for this teaching programme......although the words Physical Education baffled me at first. I thought it was no big deal...coz probably it's just gonna be a requirement. But as I kept re-reading it...to uhm..hopefully find something in between the lines of that..it occured to me that....I am being considered for the Dip PE programme. Yikes. DOn't they ever do a research on me on how I totally SUCK at PE and anything to do with physical education. When I read the website on the curriculum and most importantly, on whether is it true that I will still be given a monthly salary..I am just so totally baffled over the fact I was being considered for this diploma instead of the somehow more ordinary and more grounded Dip in Education. Suddenly I see my chances of acing this interview to be further slimmed down right after their first impression of me..coz in me..there is nothing..NOTHING....that can do justice to physical education..not even in a primary school. I'll be such a total disgrace to the school...like how I have always been the outcaste in the race to have the school with the highest NAPFA scores. No matter how hard they tried to train me...put me through torturous hell in the full view of others who had done well and deserved a break from PE with the sports they like..while I ....had to run all 6 rounds in the hot sweltering afternoon sun. Or even during the lunch hour...where you have your sessions with ur classmates while awaiting the 2pm class...and me....being yanked out of my seat to have my weight taken and then endure yet another round of running round the school building.
I don't know how am I gonna go through this interview...like what..tell the interviewees that err...'u know what..think they made a mistake lah.....do I look like the PE sort?!' Okay...so this MAY be an opportunity to exact my revenge on the poor students and then tell them in the face...'So! Do you know how I felt when I was back in school..running and running and running..ha? HA?!' Fuwah...that's cool lah..but er....I am never in a revenge mode so that's minus 10 points for you.
Gawd...you know what..it's like okay I should be more appreciative coz I have been given a second chance and at the very least, if I didn't do well in the interview..at least they HAD considered me for the interview, right? Even if it is supposedly for the PE programme..sighz....I mean...rite....I AM totally ecstatic lah but then when you read carefully, sometimes things are not what they seem to be. I don't know..I simply don't know...I am really thankful for this opportunity and who knows..if they think i am not fit for this diploma..perhaps they will consider me for the other diploma which doesn't require physical education as a subject matter. Tell you what.....right now what I can do is simply try to do my best for the interview. I am not gonna screw up...I am just gonna tell them what I feel...why I wanted this teaching position so badly (and how this PE thing? err..can they like consider again..seriously?) and hopefully, next year, I get to change the course of my life. If they think I am not good enough..I can't threaten them at knife point can i? It's life lah sometimes....just like The Apprentice. You are already considered a top notch executive already for being one of the candidates for the Trump Associates . But in the end, there can onlie be one. But that's not so important already if let's say you're 'fired'...because out of the millions, he chose you as being one of the potential candidates. Though it's not fulfilling simply basking in the fact that at the end of the day, you're simply that potential candidate, it's the learning process that you go through that you carry till the end that is more enriching. Having to get out of this comfort zone and exploring a different side of things..like for instance...turning the table..and see from another point of a view..that of a teacher...is already in itself, applaudable.
If you ask me...I am actually not quite ready to leave this job and my good friend. And I also dare not say that I am ready for high risk opportunities..like for instance..i am still not willing to
go into something that does not pay me..for example..full time studies..and I also need a certain level of job security and not for my sake. But for my family's sake. And this diploma programme helps me to kill two birds with one stone. I get my pay as per normal while at the same time, i get to realise my dream. If people find their niche in something else like business or computing, I think I find my niche in this. I dont do it coz I can't get any other job. I have a job in the first place which I have to give up if I ever got the golden opportunity to study. And I have a good friend who has been my mentor...my confidante....that the thought of not seeing her anymore after leaving this job..simply kills me...but I will never forget that time when she asked me if I ever considered changing jobs. I say I wouldn't mind but I mind having to leave good friends like her. But when she said that I dont have to mind people like her..coz after all she doesn't pay me..she doesn't fill my rice bowl...that it's okay to get another job. We can always keep in touch......but it will hurt me so bad if I ever left this job coz I will miss her a lot. I have never met anyone in my line of work or even in my own personal life that treats me as I am. And who doesn't see me as an easy target for doing work that they woudn't do...but simply chuck at me.
She doesn't run away from responsibilities and take her leadership role head on even though having to hold that position for a very long time and having charges who are new and totally clueless...like me two years ago...can make anyone go bonkers. I have deep respect for her. She made my life at my workplace bearable. And she's like a parent to me...a big sister..and yet a friend. But I have to move on. She has moved on with her life so many times back in her younger days. Our twenty years age gap is not evident if we're together...but it's still a fact. I am still younger than her...I have to look for changes..while she is happily settled into something that will see through her children's education. She has gone past those days when she has the freedom to change once she tires of a certain job. But I can't leave it as that. It is this time of your life that you have to embrace new opportunities thrown at you and not quickly settling into something and not getting out from it. So yupz..i am just gonna try my luck..wooh!
And of course I was ecstatic when I was shortlisted for this teaching programme......although the words Physical Education baffled me at first. I thought it was no big deal...coz probably it's just gonna be a requirement. But as I kept re-reading it...to uhm..hopefully find something in between the lines of that..it occured to me that....I am being considered for the Dip PE programme. Yikes. DOn't they ever do a research on me on how I totally SUCK at PE and anything to do with physical education. When I read the website on the curriculum and most importantly, on whether is it true that I will still be given a monthly salary..I am just so totally baffled over the fact I was being considered for this diploma instead of the somehow more ordinary and more grounded Dip in Education. Suddenly I see my chances of acing this interview to be further slimmed down right after their first impression of me..coz in me..there is nothing..NOTHING....that can do justice to physical education..not even in a primary school. I'll be such a total disgrace to the school...like how I have always been the outcaste in the race to have the school with the highest NAPFA scores. No matter how hard they tried to train me...put me through torturous hell in the full view of others who had done well and deserved a break from PE with the sports they like..while I ....had to run all 6 rounds in the hot sweltering afternoon sun. Or even during the lunch hour...where you have your sessions with ur classmates while awaiting the 2pm class...and me....being yanked out of my seat to have my weight taken and then endure yet another round of running round the school building.
I don't know how am I gonna go through this interview...like what..tell the interviewees that err...'u know what..think they made a mistake lah.....do I look like the PE sort?!' Okay...so this MAY be an opportunity to exact my revenge on the poor students and then tell them in the face...'So! Do you know how I felt when I was back in school..running and running and running..ha? HA?!' Fuwah...that's cool lah..but er....I am never in a revenge mode so that's minus 10 points for you.
Gawd...you know what..it's like okay I should be more appreciative coz I have been given a second chance and at the very least, if I didn't do well in the interview..at least they HAD considered me for the interview, right? Even if it is supposedly for the PE programme..sighz....I mean...rite....I AM totally ecstatic lah but then when you read carefully, sometimes things are not what they seem to be. I don't know..I simply don't know...I am really thankful for this opportunity and who knows..if they think i am not fit for this diploma..perhaps they will consider me for the other diploma which doesn't require physical education as a subject matter. Tell you what.....right now what I can do is simply try to do my best for the interview. I am not gonna screw up...I am just gonna tell them what I feel...why I wanted this teaching position so badly (and how this PE thing? err..can they like consider again..seriously?) and hopefully, next year, I get to change the course of my life. If they think I am not good enough..I can't threaten them at knife point can i? It's life lah sometimes....just like The Apprentice. You are already considered a top notch executive already for being one of the candidates for the Trump Associates . But in the end, there can onlie be one. But that's not so important already if let's say you're 'fired'...because out of the millions, he chose you as being one of the potential candidates. Though it's not fulfilling simply basking in the fact that at the end of the day, you're simply that potential candidate, it's the learning process that you go through that you carry till the end that is more enriching. Having to get out of this comfort zone and exploring a different side of things..like for instance...turning the table..and see from another point of a view..that of a teacher...is already in itself, applaudable.
If you ask me...I am actually not quite ready to leave this job and my good friend. And I also dare not say that I am ready for high risk opportunities..like for instance..i am still not willing to
go into something that does not pay me..for example..full time studies..and I also need a certain level of job security and not for my sake. But for my family's sake. And this diploma programme helps me to kill two birds with one stone. I get my pay as per normal while at the same time, i get to realise my dream. If people find their niche in something else like business or computing, I think I find my niche in this. I dont do it coz I can't get any other job. I have a job in the first place which I have to give up if I ever got the golden opportunity to study. And I have a good friend who has been my mentor...my confidante....that the thought of not seeing her anymore after leaving this job..simply kills me...but I will never forget that time when she asked me if I ever considered changing jobs. I say I wouldn't mind but I mind having to leave good friends like her. But when she said that I dont have to mind people like her..coz after all she doesn't pay me..she doesn't fill my rice bowl...that it's okay to get another job. We can always keep in touch......but it will hurt me so bad if I ever left this job coz I will miss her a lot. I have never met anyone in my line of work or even in my own personal life that treats me as I am. And who doesn't see me as an easy target for doing work that they woudn't do...but simply chuck at me.
She doesn't run away from responsibilities and take her leadership role head on even though having to hold that position for a very long time and having charges who are new and totally clueless...like me two years ago...can make anyone go bonkers. I have deep respect for her. She made my life at my workplace bearable. And she's like a parent to me...a big sister..and yet a friend. But I have to move on. She has moved on with her life so many times back in her younger days. Our twenty years age gap is not evident if we're together...but it's still a fact. I am still younger than her...I have to look for changes..while she is happily settled into something that will see through her children's education. She has gone past those days when she has the freedom to change once she tires of a certain job. But I can't leave it as that. It is this time of your life that you have to embrace new opportunities thrown at you and not quickly settling into something and not getting out from it. So yupz..i am just gonna try my luck..wooh!
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