I don't diet for pathetic FOols!

hello!

DivaRadaR here..haha...love that name! Gawd..how original can i get? ANyway, I know I had been m.i.a. for the longest time (At least in terms of me writing crap here..) but you know what, I do miss writin especially when there's a lot of stuffs to talk about..like the going-ons in my life. You know I have this weird habits, if let's say, I felt like buying jeans once upon a time, in september, it'd be like..uhm...the whole of that month I am on the lookout for jeans! what the..And especially if the price is reasonable..and dammit..it fits me! How often can BOTH come together..at least in my terms! Additionally, I would be buying more than one. Yes, you heard me rite..I don't just shop for one. I jz HAD to coincidentally have yet another pair that fit the 'bill' as I went about doing random shopping (in contrast to window shopping..as I don't shop for windows..) . Of coz..I have my regretful moments..like k, I dont have slim legs in the first place..or a pair of legs that invoke eyes to look at..like 'whoa! look at those pair of legs! sexxxyyy......' Okay, one thing the guy is shallow..and another thing....most legs of girls especially look especially goood...when teamed up with a pair of jeans. Unlike hrmph...bulky ol' me...but nevertheless, the new 'rahayupopz' says...YOU are the one making the jeans look kewl..not the other way round. I mean..I don't meant running ten km a day to achieve that pair of killer legs lah...although that is a possible option..if you don't feel good in something u wear, either scrap it or u turn up ur personality one notch.

Like of coz..u mz pair it up with a top that flatters u..in a nice bright colour..and a pair of shoes or heels! The latter does any tricks..but yeah..u mz not look drab. Look bright and shiny! Like make people go...hey, there's more to this girl. OR! Just get another pair lah that will suit u better..haha. I mean..of coz...people make mistakes in all areas..fashion too...so if this one looks good on the hangar and u jz gotta have it sans trying..or it looks perfect in the fitting room......until u have to walk around in it..looking more moronic than eva. Believe me, I have gone through wardrobe nightmare all my life....but there's one thing that can take ur mind off stuffs like ur jeans and ur top..which can either mean onlie YOU notice the flaws and that 'nothing is perfect' is just some stupid quote..or..you really are wearing a freaking uglie shirt, heh...

You have ur Own SElf for distraction! Yeah..I know a lot of big people like me...always feel so degraded by the slightest comments especially by people who really cannot fathom wat is it like being on the other fence..of coz, some of us don't show it because we don't want to make us feel that we have been defeated by such uglie comments. For me...okay, I admit that I don't quite get snide remarks because I somehow manage to make people think that I'm too sensitive or wat, or wateva..hehe....but actuallie, reality is such that people will always have a concept that everyone has to be either slim or have an average body size. I can make as if I don't care about ur comment, but as a human being with feelings (unlike THAT rude person lah) hey, there's no denying that it IS hurting. Then, some things are meant to make u stronger, not weaker. You are onlie defeated when u choose to baul or cry ur eyeballs out...or u go on a very strict diet regime, that makes u lose weight super fast, but make u lose hair and have crappy skin super fast too. And that diet is not to make urself healthier, but onlie to show those rude people that they are wrong. WHy go through all the trouble for them?!

CLEO that I bought this month has a real life article on a girl who has been dumped by a few guys who thought that she is not thin enough. And some years ago, there was an article of this girl who said tht she was super fat, and once upon a time, had this guy who liked to hang around with her and eventually confessed that he does like her. But he had this condition: He would onlie make her his girlfriend, and possibly his wife if things work out, if she lost weight. And he even set a deadline for her to lose most of her weight. Guess what? SHE dumped the blossoming friendship.

You know I admired her for that...even though I don't remember all the things I read in the Malay newspapers as my malay language is crap..haha...but that article was inspiring. And actually, she did lose weight. But she did it not because of him. She did it because she was tired of her old look..and for once, she wanted to buy clothes that could fit her..even if she can't go around visiting all sorts of fashion boutiques and buy the clothes that she fancies. Like me, we have a problem with buying clothes..and I can't go in any boutique with at least my size. But half the battle is won if there ARE shops that do serve our size even if it's the largest or the second largest, wateva. It's onlie not cool that in the entire typical mall or major dept stores, not one boutique has my size. It isn't easy when I have my friends or good fren spending their time simply fussing over which top is nicer, or which colour is better. But when I finally can fit that MANGO top, the one that is often worn as a casual top labelled as 'the must-have trend!'...it's really cool.

So I know she felt. She lost weight and it felt damn good for her that she didn't have to feel so bad for not having anything to buy, coz none can fit her. Or if it fits her but looks super uglie coz some people think that hey, big people can't complain so much. They're already big, plump or fat so why fuss over being fashionable? So it was onlie a matter of personal battle and not a love battle...to win his heart. When she lost weight, HE went back crawling to her and wanting to be close to her...love her...but she still said 'no'. She said why should she have a relationship with a guy who is so darn shallow..who equates his love of his life to be one with an ideal body shape? Now THAT is what I call...woman on top!

Then come to think of it, recently when I see people wearing jeans looking good in them...and I don't..coz I tot the jeans looked big on me...But to think that it is that size that I can fit in without struggling or looking too tight. So...have to face the fact. I have balanced it with other pairs that fits me better..but ultimately, I will still have that uneasy feeling or low confidence. But u know what...come to think of it, if I stop comparing myself with other people..and focus on other things instead, the jeans...is not even an issue. The fact that people like talking to me...share jokes with me..be silly with me...shows that they are dealing with the one wearing the jeans, having non-slim legs...but not with my jeans or my legs. It's just..uhm..me! I can wear the most flattering piece of clothing on me..but if I am a meanie..or i'm simply horrible with people...but ultimately, it's how I project myself.

So..I guess I am just trying to teach me a lesson..as always..that I shouldn't feel so bad lah about being ugly in jeans, in wateva shape or size...I mean, in terms of jeans. If that pair of jeans don't look too flattering, get another one lah that does but it is in the same size. Hey, they are not called versatile for nothing! Hey, the fact that I can still afford to pick and choose what jeans suits me..is good enough lah considering the weight loss I recently had did reward me with the ability to wear that slim-fit pair..unlike the previous time where it took me almost ten minutes! And how a colleague praised me saying I looked like I lost some weight recently when she saw me jz now...uhm, actually colleagues lah if u don't just count that colleague in the morning..haha...Oh well....better to fuss about which top goes with which bottom, right? hehe...I guess this should be the super duper motto for those who think they're big/plump/fat/skinny....hey, U are what u wear! And that's being a diva on radar...... :)

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