Then I conclude about how a relationship is not on the cards as I've got things that matter more which need my urgent attention, not going on a date. If it happens, it happens and other than that, I don't wish to dwell on it too long so hopefully, this will be my last post on this crush thing. But of course, if there's any news, I'll write about it.
Meanwhile, I've already concluded that he's probably married despite my initial judgment that he's still single. Then just now, I saw two guys in their uniform like gosh, as though the universe knows I've been harping over a uniformed personnel (though he wasn't in uniform at the gym, obviously) and one of them was married with a beautiful wife and two children. He took them to the photo shop and had their pictures taken. Then, when I took the train back from Raffles Place after meeting up with a customer, I saw couples which I assumed worked around that area and how good they looked with each other. Then I can't imagine myself, dressed up okay, but not as great as them, and thinking about that gym guy again and how people of a certain 'type' would go out with other people within the same type too. Therefore, in no way, if he's still single, that he would go out with me.
But again, I tried my best not to put myself down, with the emphasis that I am of my own unique beauty and personality, take it or leave it. The thing is, I'll still well liked by people in general, who have come to accept me for who I am.
So this whole episode of a crush-in-question is nothing but a matter of questioning myself and what I truly want. While I will still admire from far, hoping he doesn't catch it, I will stop entertaining these silly thoughts of mine and just lead my life how I've been leading it so far. It's fun though to be crushing on someone after so long, even though at the end of the day, it's just pointless especially if it leads to nothing, like he's married or I'm just obsessed over him, but you know, I'm just a girl :) A girl who is confident of herself, who does not compare herself to others and just lead life the way she wants to.
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