I Should Have Known Better

The last couple of weeks have been hard for me and as I'm trying to climb my way back up again, I prayed to God to give me the strength to face this tough time. I've also been doing some self reflection and I know that this is just a way to test me to not falter and to learn from my mistakes. However difficult the position that I'm in right now, He's also helping me out during these tough times.

This week, I prayed to Him to help me receive orders through my online shop so that I can continue to support my family. For the first time ever, I received a whopping 8 orders just this week itself. Such a miracle and I'm truly blessed for it. I've also received some financial help that would help me get through this week. 

While it's been a difficult road right now, it's also easy to digress. I came to a point earlier this evening where I picked up things from the bookshop which I had difficulty letting go off due to the ongoing promotion and the rarity of finding such item. But in total, I would have to fork out more than $10 and during this difficult period, if they don't serve any purpose for my current projects, they are mere extras. I deliberated a lot until I decided to get three of the items which I thought was on promotion and it would have cost me $9.00

However, at the counter it was a totally different thing. After the member's discount, I would end up paying 13 over dollars. If I had the money, I would have shrugged it off and still pay. But I was trying to save money and use whatever I have sparingly so I told her directly that I thought they're on discount. So she got them checked out. Turned out, the poster was very misleading and the ones I got didn't qualify for the discount. I wanted those things so badly but in my situation, I had to sadly say I didn't want them.

In the end, I walked out of the bookshop without buying a single thing. Then came my next hurdle. Buying takeaway food for my mum. I might have said this many times on this blog but I actually dislike buying takeaway food because it's a waste of money. But mum said buy means buy so I had to pop buy KFC to buy her favourite drink with an accompanying meal. Again, I thought of buying the value box that already had the sejora drink so technically, I didn't have to top up to change the drink. 

Then at the last minute, I thought why not get the snackers box instead. It's cheaper at $4.00 and since the whole point of me bothering to queue at KFC was because of that sejora drink, I just have to change the drink. So yah, technically I paid $4.90 and I saved $1.50.

I remembered at one point I was really really poor and I had to be super drastic with how I spent my money and that includes having to walk home after buying groceries to save transport. Back then, I still could somehow scrap through with such pay because the price of things didn't shoot up until about two years ago. My pay increased and so are the general price of things which is why I thought there was no WAY I could survive on the income I'm earning right now.

Now I tried to scrap through whatever I have by simply avoiding buying things unnecessarily including buying snack food. I've also cut down  on my trips to the bookshop to 'top' up my supplies because of the fear that they will not re-stock it anymore. Now I thought if they don't restock, it's not as if there aren't any other things to buy.

I can't guarantee how long I'll be this miserable but I'm taking baby steps to get out of this poverty stricken times by knowing better how to deal with it head on.

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