Where My Heart Is

Okay let me give you a piece of advice. I know I give the world's most boring advices but here goes..if the door of the train is closing..please do not..I repeat..DO NOT...attempt to board it. Do you know how many times my heart skipped a beat as if I am watching an horror movie in real time whenever I witnessed people trying to rush in when the train doors were halfway closing and then their bodies looked like they were going to be squashed or split into two. So not a fan of blood and gore!!

Sigh....pls dont do that. Even if you dont die, other people may when their heart stopped or something.

Anyway, today I took leave to bring my dad back to the hospital for a medical counselling. But it was not meant to be when he found himself too weak to even walk outside let alone in the house. I mean..come on..he just got out of the hospital barely two days ago and he has to haul his ass back there after being stuck at his bedside at hospital for almost two weeks.

Meanwhile, my mum kept lamenting that he would never recover from his illness. I mean true...you cant do anything else if your kidneys are no longer strong that even medicine is not much of help. But come on, does she have to keep on saying it again and again? His knees felt weak and heavy but my mum forced him to go out and he eventually did coz my mum has the knack of starting a yelling party. It was not easy walking with him coz he needed to take a long rest after mere seconds of quick walking. So for something that would take about 2 minutes to walk or even less than that, took like half an hour. He had not even entered the main glass door and we were stuck outside for about ten minutes coz his knees felt painful. It was a really sad thing for me because I know that he's not that majorly strong in recent years but this was like too much for me to bear.

I keep telling myself that he's just too weak since he had just came back from hospitalisation but the way my mum kept emphasizing that he will be like that forever..blah blah blah...can weaken anyone's spirit. I used to recall that he was in this same state in the previous time which was also right after hospitalisation but after a week or so, he was able to travel even all the way to Little India taking public transport. Sure his energy has dipped even during that period of time so I dont expect miracles but seriously, I dont expect him to be in such a sad state like this for long too! Im going to give him a week before he starts to get better a bit but if he doesnt, I just..really..dunno what else to say at this point.

Please God..give him strength...and give me strength to pull through this hard time.


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