Well, you have to bear with me while my blog undergoes a few changes here and there . Generally, I feel a bit better, space wise, since I have done some cleaning up of my room though there is still part 3, part 4 and so forth. At least it's a bit more comfy now. Other than that mundane piece of news, the mid half of last week had been a bit stressful for me coz my father was admitted to hospital. I brought him to poly and the doctor wrote a referral letter to send him to A&E because his kidneys were not functioning well so his body was retaining the water which made him looked bloated.
Anyway, he is getting better as of last Sunday when I visited him because he was not as bloated as before and his hands showed the vein lines which meant that the water had been cleaned out. However, as much as I want him to get better but diabetes is an incurable disease. Things can get complicated and when complications set in, treatments like dialysis is a must and I dont want that to happen because his body will weaken further and the financial costs will be hard to bear. Honestly, I am truly sorry that he had to skip on his medicine for slightly more than a year because I did not have enough savings ever since my father's savings was depleted. I felt really really bad because I felt that I brought this on to him.
But I promise that after his discharge, I will faithfully bring him to the doctor for follow up treatments so that he can get his medicine. Furthermore, the social worker had contacted me because my father was telling them that due to financial difficulties, he did not see the doctor for medication. At least now I can be slightly rest assured that help is on the way.
My colleague has been very understanding in a way that she has assured me that she can cover for me when I go on leave this week when my other colleague who covers me directly is unable to do so if she has classes to attend. I am really touched also because earlier she messaged me asking how was my father's condition and again gave the assurance that she can cover for me. Little things like this mean a lot to me when the going gets tough a bit.
After visiting him continuously for a few days since his admission to check on his progress, I was not able to do so last Saturday since I had promised my other friends that we would go out together. Unfortunately, I got a bit distracted so I am really sorry to them if I had been a bit 'distant' because my mind kept thinking how was he coping at hospital now. Now I know I havent been the best daughter and I dont really talk much to him nowadays (coz he's a bit hard on hearing and talks a bit soft too that sometimes it's quite inaudible) but he is still my father and I try to help in ways that I can.
It is not easy bearing the responsibility of my family on my shoulders but it's just something that I have to do. Sometimes I feel a bit torn when it comes to matters between my family and my friends. I have to walk on fine line in order to satisfy both parties but Rahayu is no miracle worker. Sure sometimes I have to skip out on movie dates which upset my friends or go out with my friends which upset my family. Then again, come to think of it, no one's life is really perfect so I cant really complain. My only hope is for other people to understand that sometimes, people cant always accomodate to their wishes.
Anyway, later this evening, I dont think I will be able to go visit him because I finish work quite late and I cant always take a cab there especially when during the evening peak hours. But I will go on Tuesday because it will be so wrong not going two days in a row so fingers crossed, I hope nothing major cropped up at hospital when I could not be there. The tube on his hand where they inserted the needle for the medication has been removed so now he is relying on oral medicine only. I have said that I cant be the most caring daughter to my father because I think Im just too clumsy for that but if my family needs me, I will of course be there for them like taking leave to send my father to the doctor which I did last week.
Well, work also got in the way and furthermore, being a newbie, I cant also afford to take leaves on a whim but when it comes to family emergencies, I hope they understand my situation. So far, I would say that I am glad I switched jobs because this job offered me certain flexibility (like applying leave a day before the actual leave date) unlike the previous two jobs where work MUST come first so have to apply two months before at least.
I guessed that was why I could not be bothered with taking leaves even until now when it becomes a habit because it was so difficult and everything must have a valid reason and approval was not instant. But when my father got sick like two years ago, they were a bit more understanding although I still had to inform them in advance of his pending appointment dates.
So sometimes I feel that yes I do miss my ex colleagues but not all of them coz I think so far, only one of them has left a huge impression on me. My current colleague reminded me of her with her helpfulness and her caring attitude but not quite sharing the same humour as my ex colleague..haha..that one is so uniquely her.
Anyway basically Im not missing in action and will update every now and then but the trips back from hospital is pretty tiring and quite long that I would rather spend the time watching tv or surt net to relax. So this new look on my blog is just something fresh that I do as a change from the current stresses in life. Okay time to go to bed and destress too.
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