Just Walk
wallo!
hrm..that would be the next greeting for the year. So it is official. I can't deny that amidst the struggles I went through in the first week of my post bdae, there are some moments which I think show signs of a new beginning or a new chapter. Okay, at least I scored points in the fitness line if not other parts of my rather mundane life. Even though I kinda hit rock bottom a bit with my weight in which the last two kgs which I thought I lost was merely superficial coz I took on a hungry stomach, i felt bloated. In the first place, I don't have a God's given washboard abs and have this rather (alrite..very untoned) tummy that seriously doesn't flatter and give me a straight line when I stand. I don't mind if the behind is protruding but infront, na-uh.
Man, I am so self conscious. At least the first two days of eating like a glutton (hey, it WAS my bdae celebration), I didn't put on additional kgs due to them since I worked hard for the rest of the week to either maintain or lose the weight. It would be great if I could go back to my superficial weight but hey...I can't deny right now, I have reached a plateau. You know you go up the slop and then reach this flat land...yeah..Im standing on it. But in truth, I did gain one kg prior to that and you know what they say..'it's only one kg!' I know it's no big freakin' deal but hey, I can tolerate that coz I can easily lose. But it's not that which is bothering me, but I feel 'bloatey' like there is this annoying gas-like thing occupying the space of my lower tummy. Even my mum thought that I looked like I might have put on a bit of weight there coz it was..well...bloatey and it is physical and not that I imagined it. Still, I was annoyed yes..but I am not gonna let it get in my way as long as I can find a solution to it. And it kinda up a bit my motivation to lose the bloatedness and happened to be, a magazine which my friend gave me did offer tips on getting a washboard abs. Without the ridges. It's something which I have been doing which I think somehow rather helps to cut down a bit on the bloated feeling.
Ever since my attachment to this clinic that left me desk bounded, and not walking around as part of my field visits to schools, I guess it played a major part in creating the bloatedness. And also, I have to sheepishly admit that yes, maybe due to me being stuck at the desk in a room with no windows and cold air con no matter how I turn it up, it kinda increased my appetite. Somehow rather, I was a couch potato without a tv but a computer infront of me. Eurgh..the confinement! Man I shouldn't complain. At least I dont have to deal with hard hitting school staff, lines of children and parents. Most parents are co-operative although I had one or two encounters with rude ones. Seriously, messaging while Im talking is a big fat no-no. Absolutely no respect. Stress may also be a factor in increasing my appetite as there are times I didnt have cases to attend to and I fully understand the meaning of eating as a subconscious way of killing time.
Whatever it is...my mum said that I should get out of the confined space during lunch and get some exercise done like walking. Hrm, where to walk? Nothing to see see here also. Anyway, fyi..I DO get out during lunch since I couldn't stand being cooped up during my lunch time..no no! Only once did I do that coz I just didn't have the heart to go. And then, I had this brainwave. Hrm walking eh? It is a good form of exercise and maybe..just maybe..it will help me lose the bloatedness acquired during my almost a week of bingeing on food due to trying to settle down in a different work environment.
So there I was...walking from where I worked to the paya lebar singpost which has become my rather new hangout. But I couldn't be always paying to get there coz it's a mere two bus stops away but whose distance are pretty far. And then..pppfft..how bad can walking be?
Yup, at first it seemed daunting but since then, I kinda thought that it wasnt so bad. The only thing I had to tolerate is just the on and off blazing sun. Other than that, might have to wait a bit longer at the traffic light coz it's right beside the road juction and this road is very the busy. So I have to depend on the green man for support. The thing is that I am always fighting to find myself some quality 'me' time and I found that walking can help me to straighten out my thoughts and make me less self conscious of myself because even though I dont lose weight immediately, at least I know I am doing something and the results will show later. The bonus is that, I didn't put on additional weight from the two celebrations and phewh..for that. If not I will flip I tell ya. Being bloated prior to that day a.ka. my birthday, is already bad enough. I just tried to squeeze in some time for physical activities including a gym I visited quite recently at Yishun Stadium to give moral support and provide companionship to help a friend in a new quest to be healthier. Wooh! You go girl!
Oh, recently I just indulged myself in an activity which took me years before I could finally...get in the waters. Im talking about swimming!! woohoo!! I wanna thank my friend again for giving..yes giving me..not only the swimming costume but also the opportunity to be in the waters again. So it was also rather nostalgic for me si nce it had been years since the days back then in secondary school where the Toa Payoh swimming complex was a fav hangout for me and my then best friend. We were broke school students unlike kids noawadys whose handphones changes as fast as their boy or girlfriends. Back then, it was a mere 50 cents. If not swimming, we would go to the library and had cups of plain waters from Mcdonalds plus a cheese or hamburger for lunch. Haha..so freakin broke. Actually, not much of difference with now also lah..hehe..
Even though it was rather intimidating initially, from experience I know people dont give a damn if look fat or thin in the swimming costume. I mean I can't stop them from looking but hey...they are more concerned watching over their children who were having swimming lessons in the pool. I almost didn't want to start swimming coz I didnt feel confident enough plus I didn't want to appear as if I interrupted during their swimming lessons. But hey, I didn't pay 1.30 to people watch! And yes..the last time I checked their fathers never paid for occupancy of the swimming pools. It is for public's use for goodness sake! So I picked a less crowded corner and took my clothes off (the swimming costume is inside already la) and nobody blinked an eye at me. That was a start. Plus there were also other females that were not shy at all with their body size and I told myself that nope..I am not about to let my body hung ups waste my trip all the way here (Even though it wasn't that far) because I bloody well want to swim!
When I finally went into the pool, it was rather frightening but I kinda got used to it pronto. I still felt scared and had to hold on to the side of the pool for security coz it had been more than ten years since I last stepped into this particular swimming pool at Hougang. I remembered having my lesson here when I was in Sec two which I didn't pass the swimming test coz I was miserable at backstroke. I was pratically going everywhere but not in a straight line. Maybe my butt too heavy lah..hehe. But I got the hang of it a bit and breathing was still a prob for me but I am determined to practise so that I dont have to struggle for air while swimming and can swim for further distances instead of stopping midway.
I didn't feel like getting out of the waters and merely wanted to soak in it and swimming occasionally. But I went there to bring back the memories of the days where I used to go swimming and being in the waters so once I felt it and did a bit of swimming, I thought it was time to go. However, I will definitely be back and Im really looking forward to the next session.
So I still have fears to go to the other pool of more than 1m and it's okay, im pretty contented in this 1m pool..haha. Look im struggling to straighten myself up in this pool once I stopped swimming so I dont see myself any better in the other one. Like I said, it takes time. Now just want to practise on my breathing techniques. Ooh i love swimming!!!!
Well, so like I said, maybe I didn't have it too bad for the first week after my birthday. Right now, I am slowly trying to cut down on my obssession with my body hung ups which resulted in me always wanting to check out my appearance in the mirrors. It is a compulsive behaviour but I think today there is a slight bit of improvement. I find that if I don't keep on being bothered on my physical appearances especially my tummy, I have no qualms about it. I tried to just keep on walking without constantly checking my blouse or tugging at my skirt if they hitched up and then show off my protuding fats even though it's not that obvious. Hey, even people who are thinner than me have probs with their body but what about me? I read in a magazine article recently that if I love myself, I will take care of my body by eating right and exercising. So I am still rather overweight and have not reached my targetted weight. But I have not stopped in my quest to adopt a healthier lifestyle. I did something about it and I am proud of it and my on going efforts. Oh, and that I am worth much more than my physical appearance and people who based my character on my tummy or thighs, they are the ones having the prob and not me. Furthermore, mirrors can't do much in increasing my self confidence except in teeth check and hair check. It must come from inside and radiate out.
I love my life and even if it is filled with ups and downs, I am thankful everyday I get an opportunity to improve on my life. Now that I found two more ways of giving myself quality 'me' time, it kinda gives me a new sense of inner peace. Hopefully I am able to lead my life more meaningfully. Nothing can get me down. Hey, I have been saying this quite frequently. Maybe this is my new life catchphrase..haha..
hrm..that would be the next greeting for the year. So it is official. I can't deny that amidst the struggles I went through in the first week of my post bdae, there are some moments which I think show signs of a new beginning or a new chapter. Okay, at least I scored points in the fitness line if not other parts of my rather mundane life. Even though I kinda hit rock bottom a bit with my weight in which the last two kgs which I thought I lost was merely superficial coz I took on a hungry stomach, i felt bloated. In the first place, I don't have a God's given washboard abs and have this rather (alrite..very untoned) tummy that seriously doesn't flatter and give me a straight line when I stand. I don't mind if the behind is protruding but infront, na-uh.
Man, I am so self conscious. At least the first two days of eating like a glutton (hey, it WAS my bdae celebration), I didn't put on additional kgs due to them since I worked hard for the rest of the week to either maintain or lose the weight. It would be great if I could go back to my superficial weight but hey...I can't deny right now, I have reached a plateau. You know you go up the slop and then reach this flat land...yeah..Im standing on it. But in truth, I did gain one kg prior to that and you know what they say..'it's only one kg!' I know it's no big freakin' deal but hey, I can tolerate that coz I can easily lose. But it's not that which is bothering me, but I feel 'bloatey' like there is this annoying gas-like thing occupying the space of my lower tummy. Even my mum thought that I looked like I might have put on a bit of weight there coz it was..well...bloatey and it is physical and not that I imagined it. Still, I was annoyed yes..but I am not gonna let it get in my way as long as I can find a solution to it. And it kinda up a bit my motivation to lose the bloatedness and happened to be, a magazine which my friend gave me did offer tips on getting a washboard abs. Without the ridges. It's something which I have been doing which I think somehow rather helps to cut down a bit on the bloated feeling.
Ever since my attachment to this clinic that left me desk bounded, and not walking around as part of my field visits to schools, I guess it played a major part in creating the bloatedness. And also, I have to sheepishly admit that yes, maybe due to me being stuck at the desk in a room with no windows and cold air con no matter how I turn it up, it kinda increased my appetite. Somehow rather, I was a couch potato without a tv but a computer infront of me. Eurgh..the confinement! Man I shouldn't complain. At least I dont have to deal with hard hitting school staff, lines of children and parents. Most parents are co-operative although I had one or two encounters with rude ones. Seriously, messaging while Im talking is a big fat no-no. Absolutely no respect. Stress may also be a factor in increasing my appetite as there are times I didnt have cases to attend to and I fully understand the meaning of eating as a subconscious way of killing time.
Whatever it is...my mum said that I should get out of the confined space during lunch and get some exercise done like walking. Hrm, where to walk? Nothing to see see here also. Anyway, fyi..I DO get out during lunch since I couldn't stand being cooped up during my lunch time..no no! Only once did I do that coz I just didn't have the heart to go. And then, I had this brainwave. Hrm walking eh? It is a good form of exercise and maybe..just maybe..it will help me lose the bloatedness acquired during my almost a week of bingeing on food due to trying to settle down in a different work environment.
So there I was...walking from where I worked to the paya lebar singpost which has become my rather new hangout. But I couldn't be always paying to get there coz it's a mere two bus stops away but whose distance are pretty far. And then..pppfft..how bad can walking be?
Yup, at first it seemed daunting but since then, I kinda thought that it wasnt so bad. The only thing I had to tolerate is just the on and off blazing sun. Other than that, might have to wait a bit longer at the traffic light coz it's right beside the road juction and this road is very the busy. So I have to depend on the green man for support. The thing is that I am always fighting to find myself some quality 'me' time and I found that walking can help me to straighten out my thoughts and make me less self conscious of myself because even though I dont lose weight immediately, at least I know I am doing something and the results will show later. The bonus is that, I didn't put on additional weight from the two celebrations and phewh..for that. If not I will flip I tell ya. Being bloated prior to that day a.ka. my birthday, is already bad enough. I just tried to squeeze in some time for physical activities including a gym I visited quite recently at Yishun Stadium to give moral support and provide companionship to help a friend in a new quest to be healthier. Wooh! You go girl!
Oh, recently I just indulged myself in an activity which took me years before I could finally...get in the waters. Im talking about swimming!! woohoo!! I wanna thank my friend again for giving..yes giving me..not only the swimming costume but also the opportunity to be in the waters again. So it was also rather nostalgic for me si nce it had been years since the days back then in secondary school where the Toa Payoh swimming complex was a fav hangout for me and my then best friend. We were broke school students unlike kids noawadys whose handphones changes as fast as their boy or girlfriends. Back then, it was a mere 50 cents. If not swimming, we would go to the library and had cups of plain waters from Mcdonalds plus a cheese or hamburger for lunch. Haha..so freakin broke. Actually, not much of difference with now also lah..hehe..
Even though it was rather intimidating initially, from experience I know people dont give a damn if look fat or thin in the swimming costume. I mean I can't stop them from looking but hey...they are more concerned watching over their children who were having swimming lessons in the pool. I almost didn't want to start swimming coz I didnt feel confident enough plus I didn't want to appear as if I interrupted during their swimming lessons. But hey, I didn't pay 1.30 to people watch! And yes..the last time I checked their fathers never paid for occupancy of the swimming pools. It is for public's use for goodness sake! So I picked a less crowded corner and took my clothes off (the swimming costume is inside already la) and nobody blinked an eye at me. That was a start. Plus there were also other females that were not shy at all with their body size and I told myself that nope..I am not about to let my body hung ups waste my trip all the way here (Even though it wasn't that far) because I bloody well want to swim!
When I finally went into the pool, it was rather frightening but I kinda got used to it pronto. I still felt scared and had to hold on to the side of the pool for security coz it had been more than ten years since I last stepped into this particular swimming pool at Hougang. I remembered having my lesson here when I was in Sec two which I didn't pass the swimming test coz I was miserable at backstroke. I was pratically going everywhere but not in a straight line. Maybe my butt too heavy lah..hehe. But I got the hang of it a bit and breathing was still a prob for me but I am determined to practise so that I dont have to struggle for air while swimming and can swim for further distances instead of stopping midway.
I didn't feel like getting out of the waters and merely wanted to soak in it and swimming occasionally. But I went there to bring back the memories of the days where I used to go swimming and being in the waters so once I felt it and did a bit of swimming, I thought it was time to go. However, I will definitely be back and Im really looking forward to the next session.
So I still have fears to go to the other pool of more than 1m and it's okay, im pretty contented in this 1m pool..haha. Look im struggling to straighten myself up in this pool once I stopped swimming so I dont see myself any better in the other one. Like I said, it takes time. Now just want to practise on my breathing techniques. Ooh i love swimming!!!!
Well, so like I said, maybe I didn't have it too bad for the first week after my birthday. Right now, I am slowly trying to cut down on my obssession with my body hung ups which resulted in me always wanting to check out my appearance in the mirrors. It is a compulsive behaviour but I think today there is a slight bit of improvement. I find that if I don't keep on being bothered on my physical appearances especially my tummy, I have no qualms about it. I tried to just keep on walking without constantly checking my blouse or tugging at my skirt if they hitched up and then show off my protuding fats even though it's not that obvious. Hey, even people who are thinner than me have probs with their body but what about me? I read in a magazine article recently that if I love myself, I will take care of my body by eating right and exercising. So I am still rather overweight and have not reached my targetted weight. But I have not stopped in my quest to adopt a healthier lifestyle. I did something about it and I am proud of it and my on going efforts. Oh, and that I am worth much more than my physical appearance and people who based my character on my tummy or thighs, they are the ones having the prob and not me. Furthermore, mirrors can't do much in increasing my self confidence except in teeth check and hair check. It must come from inside and radiate out.
I love my life and even if it is filled with ups and downs, I am thankful everyday I get an opportunity to improve on my life. Now that I found two more ways of giving myself quality 'me' time, it kinda gives me a new sense of inner peace. Hopefully I am able to lead my life more meaningfully. Nothing can get me down. Hey, I have been saying this quite frequently. Maybe this is my new life catchphrase..haha..
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