Such is Life
Okay..so this website http://www.myspace.com is where you can make friends if you're desperate for friends or otherwise and just wanna chill out and let the creepheads..i mean..potential friends...to get to know a little bit more about you. I was onlie inspired by jason mraz to go there and sign up for the account even though i fully know that I can be an internet whore sometimes..sign up..then leave the first minute I see that it's damn boring. I mean...some websites out there won't let you view what they have to offer unless you sign up. So sign up I did..but they didn't say anything about staying..haha. However, I mz admit that it is a good place for aspiring musicians and amateur directors or film makers (of movies done in good taste...not..well..otherwise) coz it allows the uploading the videos and self produced music. Good for those who are not quite into 'mainstream'. Being a fan of underground music as well..this is definitely a good headstart. But for those with zilch musical talent like moi...and have no interests in getting to know guys who just wanna satisfy their hunger over my gorgeous pics (hey...they're worth drooling over u know..hahahah! *joke of the day*), it's kinda a waste of time. I think friendster is much better although I sheepishly admit that.
K..on to more serious stuffs. It hasn't been a good weekend..like come on! It was Saturday...April Fools' day..i should be happy! Already I had to work on that day coz coincidentally it was also the day when it is my turn to act as a bluff receptionist of the day. Bluff coz it wasn't part of my job scope...but only to make up for the standard working hours ever since they change the job policy to confining working days to only weekdays. Actually I still don't understand the concept behind why i STILL have to work at least once each month every alternative quarter. But if you work in my department...there is little to understand as most are glorified crap.
Okay...I know..quit whining already coz at least Im racking in extra time hours to claim as time off which means I can take half day off on any particular weekday..woohoo! So much so you forget the fact that you just worked last Saturday coz any half days..feel like a brand new day! haha...Uhm, if you work in my department, the only thing that make you happy is when you are granted time offs which can make people jealous off their socks especially when taken on days considered as sluggish days...where for one minute to pass by is like waiting for one hour.
And also...this department where I had to offer my 'helping hand' just had to upgrade their computer system. Perfect for people whose brains are only half working especially on a non working day like Saturday. No more forgetting to key in the name and the bc or ic number as everything is computerised and the records maintained in the system. Oh, and also misspelling of names coz chinese names can sound so greek if you're a non chinese or even Indian names..they say the name so fast, I swear I only can catch the first syllabus. Like for example...'Raj............'..and I'd be 'sorry? can you repeat? or spell out' and they'd go 'It's Raj..................' so I was like..err...Raj it is then in the system..haha. Or they'll spell so fast it'd be like 'R...A...J...mcafkjfjsfsd'...and I'd know if I ask one more time..I'd probably get a feedback on how slow the staff is especially when it comes to names. I understand la their irritance like..fuwah..early in the morning ask them to spell already..haha.
And I was also happy coz I get to flex the computer geek instinct in me..haha. I love exploring the various new things in such systems...so I can do work much faster without going through the various loops. As much as I had little problem with Microsoft Excel..which they used previously...coz every free time..my itchy hands will start to experiment on ways to retrieve records faster..this was WAY better. Now...whenever they want appointments on any particular days..I don't have to get back to them saying they haven't updated the schedule yet or that I don't know if there are vacancies as I had to look for empty slots in between the cells in the Excel. Straightaway..I can check okay..there's 'so and so number of place left'...and instantly, i can choose the date..the time..and voila....confirm it with them. Funny on a day where I was more than ready to take calls from the hotline as I get to play along with the system..the calls weren't that many. Conspiracy!! they jz don't want to give me a chance to destroy..I mean....experiment.
Things like this actually put a smile on my face as it could get rather dreary around here. My mum's super laziness has hit sky high and at times, she is really taking advantage over my precious free time after work. I mean..the last thing I want to know is what to buy at the supermarket or what food to buy at some food centre straight after I leave my shift or end my field work. A girl needs to rest her mind sometimes especially after doing mundane stuffs. But what is there to do..I don't want to appear as a god damn daughter who only thinks about herself and not the family. How I wish at times..people will just understand or care about my needs...but through out the years of living right on this very earth...I have learnt a lot about human behaviour. But the best thing to deal with being around people who couldn't care less about others..is to just ignore their presence. Er...but if that person is your mum..it's a tad bit complicated depending on the situation...and thank heavens the music being played on air is much better than the previous time when they only played the new songs. So...with more songs coming from more genres and more time periods...I get to listen to a lot of great old and current songs. I get to forget about my problems and have some time spacing myself out from reality and take a backseat with some 'me' time.
My father's eye condition has turned for the worse just days ago and with full regret, I wished I had taken that day off to bring him to the clinic and hospital. I was afraid that he would have some trouble finding his way around and asked him if it was okay but he said that he would be fine. I tot that since he had gone before a few times it would be okay too but onlie thing is...it didn't turn out to be okay after all. I was also being selfish as I tot that I had taken leave last thursday and couldn't afford to take another leave barely days after that. I very well knew that there might be problems as he had to go two places instead of one. When I got home quite late after work and he was still not back yet..my heart just dropped. I was ready to blame myself if anything happened to my dad. Even though I don't really talk much to him..but it pains me thinking about how hard he is at work..going almost everyday despite his poor health..while my mum doesn't quite spare a thought for him with interest in his money only. My mum always say why she is doing this or that or how my father is stubborn as a mule..dont want to listen to her..but have she ever thought..that she has the same problems too. Sometimes things are not as simple as she thinks they are...and I am sure she very well knows that having worked before also. I just don't understand her....which is true when she says people don't understand her. I don't think she understands me either..or anyone else for that matter.
He missed his last appointment with the hospital for laser surgery coz he got the queue numbers all mixed up back in poly as he couldn't see very well that day. By the time, he was done with poly which took the whole day due to the mix up, it was too late to come down to the hospital. So now, a few days ago, it became worse up to a point he had trouble even signing his attendance that day like everything was just more blur than usual. I mean in the first place he couldn't see very well either but didn't affect his work that badly. Oh, and he fell also on his way to the bus stop as it was worse at night. He was even willing to quit but I had to do a lot of convincing and did a lot of explanations that it was not wise to quit and not wise to give up. I was churning out all the possibilities on why the sudden blurness like his poor diet for that week (thanks to my mum..dont ask) and coz he didn't have laser surgery for some time. It wasn't easy initially but slowly he understands even though he was still rather stubborn especially over his diet thing.
The next day, when the opticians refused to make spectacles for him as it was beyond help already, I had to further convince him that he shouldn't quit yet. It was not coz he wanted to stop working (with a mum like mine..who wants to be at home with her in the day..haha) as he didnt want to stop earning money. But I told him that look..why not just rest the next two weeks till his appointment date instead of just quitting like that. And also..not to worry about the money as next month..merely a week after his surgery, he would get some money from govt which I convinced him was more than what he would earn from that two weeks. Then only after that I saw him nod a bit in agreement and call up his supervisor about his break and eye condition. You see, he still thinks about my mum..to give her money...when I told him that besides, whatever bills we have to pay comes from my salary and not his so there's little worry. He said that he still had to support my mum. Gawd...things like this can make me cry..and yeah..when I was almost at a lost initially when he wanted to quit and give up on his health..I actually did tear.
But I tried to pull through and I know he is more understanding than my mum as he tries to understand my situation that income and savings wise, I have not stabilised yet. I mean, I only began to understand the meaning of 'saving up for the future' last year and that I am still too young to bare the full responsibility of maintaining the family. Although I have taken up most resposibilities, ever since I started working, in terms of bills and paperwork...I still need his help somehow. I know that this may not be forever so in anyway I can, I try to save up as much as I can. Like the recent bonus I got, even though it was minimal, it was still enough and I didn't go all crazy buying stuffs after stuffs.
Logically, it pays to buy things that cost cheaper than the average store but it doesn't mean that you start losing control over your expenditure. It's easy to lose focus but we have to train ourselves to refocus back on our financial goal like for me..it's my studies and for my partner, her marriage. I mean..she can plan definitely on what she wants for her wedding but things can't happen if you don't have the ka-ching. I don't see the need why she needs to blow more than half of her bonus in under a day after getting the money. I know it isn't easy to resist temptations..like especially if that blouse is staring at me and whispering 'buy me! buy me!'...but we have to refocus and soon, we'll get over it. Trust me..if you truly need it, when you take the time to get it...you'll treasure it more as you don't just buy mercilessly and then wear them once or twice and forget their existence later.
By the way I had this big big headache I had after I left work just now, coz of trying to adjust to so many new things esp the computerised system. I handled more patients that I had handled before when I had to cover for the person on actual duty today as she was on leave. Plus this new computerised system, despite its promise to make our work easier and 'paperless', I still had to record individual students' data into the book. And coz the ones conducting the eye tests were too busy to do the paperwork, I had to find their results online on various windows after clicking frantically several times. These had to be recorded which puzzles me as to me it was double work. Then no point having this paperless system what if you are still insecured about it and therefore require us to do more work.
Gosh, already the receptionist wasn't THAT helpful either as she didn't understand people need some breather after attending one patient. I need to key in the data manually on the pc and then transfer it to the exercise book.. She irritated me a few times especially when the patients' data had not been transferred to me yet or I had yet to finish the paperwork for the last patient and she opened the door exposing me to the patient and the family. Obviously if they saw me with no one around, naturally they would think that I was free already. What bull...stupid receptionist. I understand my colleagues' frustrations with her and even when i was more computer savvy than her, I myself struggled to keep up with the patients coming in one after another. Whatever spare time I had, I tried to record down the several blocks of data into my exercise book. NOt suprisingly, that was the cause of my headache later which turned to fever after awhile when I reached back home.
Even though today it wasn't quite a good day, there were some suprising times which put a smile on my face. Like when I gave clearer explanations to parents about their children's eye conditions through my powerpoint slides and whatever knowledge I had. I didn't have any troublemakers as parents and all complied even though the children looked rather aloof or shy..I dunno..but for me as long as one understands, I wouldn't think it was a waste of time. Oh, and how this senior citizen, an old man probably in his seventies, made my dreary morning a bit better despite its fleeting moment.
I had to send my father to the bus stop opposite the road coz I needed to help him look out for the bus. And how I was so unhappy about my mum as she didn't understand that I had to report to work at 8 sharp as it was the clinic not my usual screening locations. She insisted to send him all the way to his work place before going to work as there was enough time. Half an hour..enough time meh? He kinda made me forget awhile about what happened earlier by letting me go up the bus first even though he should be the one not me. He just made way for me and I muttered a 'thank you' to him. I dunno if he could hear lah. Wah...so gentlemanly. Instantly man..I forgot about my problem just from his gesture. Things like this make me realise that life is worth living as even strangers can make your day. Even the people you grew up with..who supposedly know you better...they still don't understand us or just take us for granted. Such is life...
K..on to more serious stuffs. It hasn't been a good weekend..like come on! It was Saturday...April Fools' day..i should be happy! Already I had to work on that day coz coincidentally it was also the day when it is my turn to act as a bluff receptionist of the day. Bluff coz it wasn't part of my job scope...but only to make up for the standard working hours ever since they change the job policy to confining working days to only weekdays. Actually I still don't understand the concept behind why i STILL have to work at least once each month every alternative quarter. But if you work in my department...there is little to understand as most are glorified crap.
Okay...I know..quit whining already coz at least Im racking in extra time hours to claim as time off which means I can take half day off on any particular weekday..woohoo! So much so you forget the fact that you just worked last Saturday coz any half days..feel like a brand new day! haha...Uhm, if you work in my department, the only thing that make you happy is when you are granted time offs which can make people jealous off their socks especially when taken on days considered as sluggish days...where for one minute to pass by is like waiting for one hour.
And also...this department where I had to offer my 'helping hand' just had to upgrade their computer system. Perfect for people whose brains are only half working especially on a non working day like Saturday. No more forgetting to key in the name and the bc or ic number as everything is computerised and the records maintained in the system. Oh, and also misspelling of names coz chinese names can sound so greek if you're a non chinese or even Indian names..they say the name so fast, I swear I only can catch the first syllabus. Like for example...'Raj............'..and I'd be 'sorry? can you repeat? or spell out' and they'd go 'It's Raj..................' so I was like..err...Raj it is then in the system..haha. Or they'll spell so fast it'd be like 'R...A...J...mcafkjfjsfsd'...and I'd know if I ask one more time..I'd probably get a feedback on how slow the staff is especially when it comes to names. I understand la their irritance like..fuwah..early in the morning ask them to spell already..haha.
And I was also happy coz I get to flex the computer geek instinct in me..haha. I love exploring the various new things in such systems...so I can do work much faster without going through the various loops. As much as I had little problem with Microsoft Excel..which they used previously...coz every free time..my itchy hands will start to experiment on ways to retrieve records faster..this was WAY better. Now...whenever they want appointments on any particular days..I don't have to get back to them saying they haven't updated the schedule yet or that I don't know if there are vacancies as I had to look for empty slots in between the cells in the Excel. Straightaway..I can check okay..there's 'so and so number of place left'...and instantly, i can choose the date..the time..and voila....confirm it with them. Funny on a day where I was more than ready to take calls from the hotline as I get to play along with the system..the calls weren't that many. Conspiracy!! they jz don't want to give me a chance to destroy..I mean....experiment.
Things like this actually put a smile on my face as it could get rather dreary around here. My mum's super laziness has hit sky high and at times, she is really taking advantage over my precious free time after work. I mean..the last thing I want to know is what to buy at the supermarket or what food to buy at some food centre straight after I leave my shift or end my field work. A girl needs to rest her mind sometimes especially after doing mundane stuffs. But what is there to do..I don't want to appear as a god damn daughter who only thinks about herself and not the family. How I wish at times..people will just understand or care about my needs...but through out the years of living right on this very earth...I have learnt a lot about human behaviour. But the best thing to deal with being around people who couldn't care less about others..is to just ignore their presence. Er...but if that person is your mum..it's a tad bit complicated depending on the situation...and thank heavens the music being played on air is much better than the previous time when they only played the new songs. So...with more songs coming from more genres and more time periods...I get to listen to a lot of great old and current songs. I get to forget about my problems and have some time spacing myself out from reality and take a backseat with some 'me' time.
My father's eye condition has turned for the worse just days ago and with full regret, I wished I had taken that day off to bring him to the clinic and hospital. I was afraid that he would have some trouble finding his way around and asked him if it was okay but he said that he would be fine. I tot that since he had gone before a few times it would be okay too but onlie thing is...it didn't turn out to be okay after all. I was also being selfish as I tot that I had taken leave last thursday and couldn't afford to take another leave barely days after that. I very well knew that there might be problems as he had to go two places instead of one. When I got home quite late after work and he was still not back yet..my heart just dropped. I was ready to blame myself if anything happened to my dad. Even though I don't really talk much to him..but it pains me thinking about how hard he is at work..going almost everyday despite his poor health..while my mum doesn't quite spare a thought for him with interest in his money only. My mum always say why she is doing this or that or how my father is stubborn as a mule..dont want to listen to her..but have she ever thought..that she has the same problems too. Sometimes things are not as simple as she thinks they are...and I am sure she very well knows that having worked before also. I just don't understand her....which is true when she says people don't understand her. I don't think she understands me either..or anyone else for that matter.
He missed his last appointment with the hospital for laser surgery coz he got the queue numbers all mixed up back in poly as he couldn't see very well that day. By the time, he was done with poly which took the whole day due to the mix up, it was too late to come down to the hospital. So now, a few days ago, it became worse up to a point he had trouble even signing his attendance that day like everything was just more blur than usual. I mean in the first place he couldn't see very well either but didn't affect his work that badly. Oh, and he fell also on his way to the bus stop as it was worse at night. He was even willing to quit but I had to do a lot of convincing and did a lot of explanations that it was not wise to quit and not wise to give up. I was churning out all the possibilities on why the sudden blurness like his poor diet for that week (thanks to my mum..dont ask) and coz he didn't have laser surgery for some time. It wasn't easy initially but slowly he understands even though he was still rather stubborn especially over his diet thing.
The next day, when the opticians refused to make spectacles for him as it was beyond help already, I had to further convince him that he shouldn't quit yet. It was not coz he wanted to stop working (with a mum like mine..who wants to be at home with her in the day..haha) as he didnt want to stop earning money. But I told him that look..why not just rest the next two weeks till his appointment date instead of just quitting like that. And also..not to worry about the money as next month..merely a week after his surgery, he would get some money from govt which I convinced him was more than what he would earn from that two weeks. Then only after that I saw him nod a bit in agreement and call up his supervisor about his break and eye condition. You see, he still thinks about my mum..to give her money...when I told him that besides, whatever bills we have to pay comes from my salary and not his so there's little worry. He said that he still had to support my mum. Gawd...things like this can make me cry..and yeah..when I was almost at a lost initially when he wanted to quit and give up on his health..I actually did tear.
But I tried to pull through and I know he is more understanding than my mum as he tries to understand my situation that income and savings wise, I have not stabilised yet. I mean, I only began to understand the meaning of 'saving up for the future' last year and that I am still too young to bare the full responsibility of maintaining the family. Although I have taken up most resposibilities, ever since I started working, in terms of bills and paperwork...I still need his help somehow. I know that this may not be forever so in anyway I can, I try to save up as much as I can. Like the recent bonus I got, even though it was minimal, it was still enough and I didn't go all crazy buying stuffs after stuffs.
Logically, it pays to buy things that cost cheaper than the average store but it doesn't mean that you start losing control over your expenditure. It's easy to lose focus but we have to train ourselves to refocus back on our financial goal like for me..it's my studies and for my partner, her marriage. I mean..she can plan definitely on what she wants for her wedding but things can't happen if you don't have the ka-ching. I don't see the need why she needs to blow more than half of her bonus in under a day after getting the money. I know it isn't easy to resist temptations..like especially if that blouse is staring at me and whispering 'buy me! buy me!'...but we have to refocus and soon, we'll get over it. Trust me..if you truly need it, when you take the time to get it...you'll treasure it more as you don't just buy mercilessly and then wear them once or twice and forget their existence later.
By the way I had this big big headache I had after I left work just now, coz of trying to adjust to so many new things esp the computerised system. I handled more patients that I had handled before when I had to cover for the person on actual duty today as she was on leave. Plus this new computerised system, despite its promise to make our work easier and 'paperless', I still had to record individual students' data into the book. And coz the ones conducting the eye tests were too busy to do the paperwork, I had to find their results online on various windows after clicking frantically several times. These had to be recorded which puzzles me as to me it was double work. Then no point having this paperless system what if you are still insecured about it and therefore require us to do more work.
Gosh, already the receptionist wasn't THAT helpful either as she didn't understand people need some breather after attending one patient. I need to key in the data manually on the pc and then transfer it to the exercise book.. She irritated me a few times especially when the patients' data had not been transferred to me yet or I had yet to finish the paperwork for the last patient and she opened the door exposing me to the patient and the family. Obviously if they saw me with no one around, naturally they would think that I was free already. What bull...stupid receptionist. I understand my colleagues' frustrations with her and even when i was more computer savvy than her, I myself struggled to keep up with the patients coming in one after another. Whatever spare time I had, I tried to record down the several blocks of data into my exercise book. NOt suprisingly, that was the cause of my headache later which turned to fever after awhile when I reached back home.
Even though today it wasn't quite a good day, there were some suprising times which put a smile on my face. Like when I gave clearer explanations to parents about their children's eye conditions through my powerpoint slides and whatever knowledge I had. I didn't have any troublemakers as parents and all complied even though the children looked rather aloof or shy..I dunno..but for me as long as one understands, I wouldn't think it was a waste of time. Oh, and how this senior citizen, an old man probably in his seventies, made my dreary morning a bit better despite its fleeting moment.
I had to send my father to the bus stop opposite the road coz I needed to help him look out for the bus. And how I was so unhappy about my mum as she didn't understand that I had to report to work at 8 sharp as it was the clinic not my usual screening locations. She insisted to send him all the way to his work place before going to work as there was enough time. Half an hour..enough time meh? He kinda made me forget awhile about what happened earlier by letting me go up the bus first even though he should be the one not me. He just made way for me and I muttered a 'thank you' to him. I dunno if he could hear lah. Wah...so gentlemanly. Instantly man..I forgot about my problem just from his gesture. Things like this make me realise that life is worth living as even strangers can make your day. Even the people you grew up with..who supposedly know you better...they still don't understand us or just take us for granted. Such is life...
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