Childhood Memories

i took a trip down memory lane recently. The place where I grew up. I used to visit my grandmother a lot until she got ill in 1989 and even though we did visit my grandmother's house often, it was seriously cut down after she passed away. Practically most of my times in the 80's was spent at my grandmother's vicinity. We didnt have a place to sleep like a room for us. We would bunk in the living room and when I was a baby till a toddler, my family used to have a room there. It was after we got a home and my uncle got married that the room was used for them instead. I didn't know it was like then but apparently, my uncle couldn't get along well with my family. I was sickly as a child and often cried which he didn't like. BOth my uncle and my aunt hated it. So in way, maybe it wasnt a good idea to stay there and once my father worked hard enough to get ourselves a house, we moved out. Pronto. That's what my mum told me.


Anyhow, it carried lots of childhood memories. And surprisingly some of the shops were still there. Okay, the memory lane that I was talking about is at Tanglin Halt Road or Commonwealth Drive. I was given the opportunity to go down there for work over the course of two alternate days. It still has that old school charms in terms of its structure and how the shops still look as old as ever..hehe..But yupz, I was like smiling already as I entered the premises. Apparently that stretch of pathway, I had never walked on coz everytime we went to my grandmother's house, we took a cab. Of course back then the taxi fares were cheaper. Way cheaper..coz it took a long time before it went up 10 cents even. There was no such thing as $1.00 surcharge also or whatever charges u can think of...apparently by the drivers themselves even. It made sense that from my home to my grandma's house, would only cost us 5 to 6 dollars plus. However I must add, back then was expensive. Oh, expensive or not, it was nauseating sitting in the bus for prolonged hours coz the distance covered by buses then were freaking long. It felt like I was going to Johor. And must I also add, there was NO AIR CON. *barf*. Trust me, cabs made sense.


Oh some of the things i recalled was how I used to have this best friend who was also my neighbour. We clicked well as we were both of the same age and that we were both girls. However, the rest of the things about us were very much different like how I actually lived a more comfortable like than her and how I was the only child while she is kid no 5. BUt it didn't matter to us. We had each other as company. When we were in kindergarten, we used to play together a lot but as we grew up and she started to mingle around with the neighbouring kids, we kinda grew apart. I felt that she was taunting me like I guess she just loved to make me feel guilty and cry even. I was like this one big joke..easily bullied. But even as a child, and also even though I didn't show it, I knew that she had done it on purpose like trying to show off to the other kids that I didn't belong in that neighbourhood also to show them how tough she was. Whatever it was, before things started to change, there was no deny that we did share a childhood together.

I also recalled some things as I was looking around the central hub of the neighbourhood. The old school charm of the 80s still lingers on like the bakery where I remembered it just from the design of its exterior. It was made of bricks and the window was lined with bricks to look like the shape of olden times oven or a kiln (If it is spelt that way) where u can see fire as the bread is baking..I think that was what they called them. Now that is classic.

Oh, and I also remembered buying colour pencils. I love stationeries even until now and back then, I loved colour pencils. However, my aunt and the rest of my family members like mum and dad hated to buy them for me. So err..I can see my pencil colour box getting smaller and smaller. Coz I keep losing individual colour pencils..hehe..and worst part was, if I lost a great deal, I wouldn't fee like using the pencil colours already. I was only a kid! Forgive me..coz now I see why the big frown on their face whenever I wanted to buy colour pencils. They're f**kin' expensive! What the hell they use for the wood? And imported old oak tree?!!!

Then I also remembered the line of old shops (to me, they were still old back then..hehe..) and I was looking out for this one particular shop that sold shoes. And it is still there. The reason why I can recall is that I used to remember the shop owner saying my feet were like elephant's feet coz they were so big for a kid. And coz of that, my feet could hardly fit in the shoes. The nerves..hello? So what if I have big feet! I have nice shoes now!!

The infrastructure of the food centre is what I can recall the most as until now, it remains as it is. The place is still quiet though but there are a few famous shops there like the mamak shop selling old favs like the mee goreng (Fried noodles). To think that the shop is still popular just like the days when my late grandfather used to buy from there often. As when I was sitting down there eating, there were two ladies ordering quite a lot from that shop and also a few more working people like the technicians waiting for their orders. At the end of the road are a few factories while the other end is a civil defence fire station. I would say the guys were pretty yummy as they were dropping by in a group to buy food. But the yummiest of the lot are the Chinese policemen who were not buying food. Apparently the police post is just beside the kindergarten where I was doing the health check for two days. There was a tiff between this rather big sized Indian lady and this frail looking chinese old lady. And the police had to go out and try to calm the situation down. They. Were. Yummy! And Chinese! My colleague apparently recalled one of them coz she remembered reporting to him when she got involved in an accident. Hrmph..she can remember guys' faces better than her work..which doesnt take her a day to forget easily..

So anyway, the only place I didn't quite had the courage to explore is the very place that I used to grow up in as a child up till the age of 12. My late grandmother's neighbourhood. The playground. The staircases (where I fell once)...the walkway..the house itself which is on the first floor. My uncle who bought that house had long moved out but as far as I know, my old neighbours still live there as I just saw one of them at the food centre. But their children had moved out.. I didn't have the courage as it brings me bittersweet memories especially after my grandmother was no more when I was only 9 years old. She doted on me so much giving me money and back then, ten dollars were a lot. For a child. Okay being money minded now even, it's still money to me..haha!! So anyway, what toys I mentioned to her she would ask my mum to buy for me. If she didnt have enough money, she would give but most often, my mum would use them to buy necessities instead. Still, she would get a scolding as she wanted me to have the toys. I didn't think much of toys which may be why my mum didnt get me in the first place. Id rather play imaginary games like being a teacher, a restaurant owner, a shop owner..anything that i observed. In other words, I grew up in my own world which is partly why I feared people and became quiet as I didnt have much interaction with people, both children and adults alike. I was left on my own as both my parents were working even though at different times of the day. My mum worked at night but she would be sleeping most times in the day. So I would only be left to take care on my own at home. She didn't allow me to go out on my own though. So whatever food was at home, I just made do with them.

Even when my grandmother was critically ill already, she wanted my mum and my aunt to continue giving me money. My aunt did initially give me ten dollars per month but she favoured my cousins more. I am not surprised as it is just her attitude, till now, that she likes to hang around people who are good looking as it makes her look good. I used to be a very chubby kid and I am not so pretty. Very average..unlike my other children who apparently had better genes. Whatever. See..now when she is financially inadequate, she runs to my mum. I have been warning my mum to not give in so much coz u know why? When we needed help from her, she gave a thousand reasons. When she had the money, she would rather treat her good looking nieces and nephews out rather than me and my family even though so many times they didn't say nice things to her. To me, if I said something wrong, or she just wasn't happy over what I did, she would scold me right infront of my mum. Even though my mum is fierce, she doesnt scold me over petty things unlike her and mock me like im some stupid kid or put words in my mouth and then report to my mum. Go f**k off. Lucky my mum quite understands that my aunt tends to do that to me.

Actually, besides some sad memories, I would say that it was a rather good trip. It wasn't planned but it was definitely something which I had always wanted to do. Why don't u plan yourself a trip down memory lane. After all, it is part of our lives and why don't we sidetrack a bit amidst the hustle and bustle of city life and do something extraodinary. Go on. Pay it a visit.

p/s: I actually teared up a bit when I was writing about my late grandmother. Even though I was still a child, she shaped my life and I want to thank her for those few years of believing in me and seeing me as Rahayu. No one loves me more than she did. Not even my own mother share the same high status of respect as the one I bestowed on her until now. Why must you leave me so early? Why?!! May she rest in peace. Amin. I love you grandma..(oh god, im crying again..)