Having Faith

I say gym guy like after more than a month later when I thought ah maybe he moved house, got posted overseas, got married..etc etc etc..to a point that if I didn't see his helmet there when I first entered the gym, I could care less about looking around. Although I am still positive that one day, he will make his comeback.

And guess what, he did!! And momma is so happy!! I was telling myself have faith, he may just turn up, like refusing to believe that he will never make his appearance again. I saw him as his favourite machine before I enter the gym and his tatts were in full view as he was wearing sleeveless like only his second time? I believe he noticed my appearance too and I DO know he was looking my way but your friend here was trying her ultimate best not to show her excitement. So much so, I didn't steal a glance back at him which I thought what was the point either, he would just furiously look away. 

But damn, I so regret not looking his way too! After more than a month you know, I missed the opportunity. I just want his friendship. I'm not looking for anything else but a mere nod or a smile when he look my way whenever I go to gym will be the greatest accomplishment in my life..lol...ok maybe not to that extreme but you know, just to be able to talk to him will be such a huge leap instead of letting me hang in the air crushing on him like nobody's business.At least let there be a small development but alas, because  I was too excited that I will risk grinning like a silly girl and I wanted to walk quickly to the toilet and just let my excitement loose. 

In other news, I'm getting more and more worried about my finances because one thing, you know I'm still in debt. I hate the feeling of this and while I'm trying my best to clear as much as I can, I'm still disappointed I didn't get much last month. While I'm still grateful I got something, and managed to pay a bit while I could choose to keep the money, I was hoping to pay more but unfortunately, sh*t happens. 

And then looking at my savings which tend to fluctuate depending on what I have to pay to clear some debt, I am worried I will end up not having enough money again. It's like now  you see it, now you don't. 

But I won't give up. I will do what I can to save some moolah and pay off my debt as much as I can. I don't want to be in this worrying position and I know there are people who are successful in managing both and are more better off now. Instead of worrying, I must look forward to a better future. I must not lose faith.


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