Letting Go of the Past

Just this week itself, I lost two uncles..on the same day. First, my mother's older brother and then my father's late sister's husband. Both were sudden death. They were both fine and dandy, though they do have health problems but death took them away out of the blue.

My mother's late brother left behind an Indonesian wife and three of his children who were younger than me being in their late twenties. While I wasn't so close to them during childhood, but I can't deny that they were an integral part of my childhood growing up in the old estates of Tanglin Halt. While I often spend my time at my late grandma's place, where they also stayed until the moved out, their late mother didn't really acknowledge us when we came by locking themselves in the room and only go out when necessary like taking a bath or eating. So I don't have much childhood with them.

I still however remembered how they looked like when they were younger with my late uncle and auntie doting on their youngest daughter like she was the apple of their eye. But based on what they had said, when they were unwell, not once did she visit them. Then at one time, when her mother passed away, she took all her clothes away against her father's wishes to a point that she pushed him down when he tried to take them back.

I've always feared my uncle in my younger days and that fear was so strong. However, when people grew old, I guess people started to slow down and became much calmer and weaker I guess due to health problems. So I could understand how he could not protest strongly against her. If it's really true she did that to him, I could only say that it's disappointing to have brought up such a daughter whom everybody used to dote so much because she was so pretty, unlike me of course where my mum could not stop saying I have such a big nose, until now. Honestly, I hate it because she said ALL THE TIME but I can't stop her.

Moving on.

But you know, that's life. Everything changes. You can't hold on to the past forever. You just have to live your life as it is. Honestly, I wish things haven't changed. I wish I could still have my parents together. I wish my father is still here. I wish I don't have to grow up and be happy and carefree like during my childhood times where I am not bogged down with adult problems.

I wish..

But you know, life is what you make of it. Learn from the past, and look forward to the future.

For both of my late uncles, may you be placed in heaven. 



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