Hello there
It has been a while, right? I used to treat this blog as a place for me to rant, talk about nonsensical things and interests that, when I think back about it, were pretty cringeworthy. But it was part of the process of me growing up and navigating through my life which is full of ups and downs, just like the tidal waves. I still need a form of outlet to write out my thoughts and I have been journaling for the last few years. At first, I was still writing nonsense, or simply writing about how my day went, but I try to make it a more conscious journalling where I will write about things that I can take lessons from or to reflect on.
So how has life been for me? Well, I no longer am running an online shop where I used to do customised cards and then just specializing in box cards. I do want to have an online business, preferably one I don't have to travel to meet people.
If you read my last post about being zen, I think I have 'tripled' the amount of zen inside of me, haha.
When you live in a society where people are just getting more entitled, get angry easily and self-conceited, you can't help but be angry about it as well during such encounters.. But these days, I just learn to control my emotions better by not over-reacting but instead, I take a step back and see things from a rational point of view. I just learn to move on and not dwell on it.
But the last few years, I have taken a deep dive into my spiritual learning and part of it is about increasing my patience and being more understanding. Also, learning about gratitude which I find is something that we often forget about because we have certain goals in life where if we don't get, we don't deserve happiness etc. For instance, I can be totally obsessed with the amount of savings that I have where I would feel, if I don't maintain this certain amount, I won't be happy. But I recall back the times where I don't even know if I can last until the next pay day and had to resort to borrowing from others and taking advanced cash from the credit cards I had. Then I realize how ungrateful I have been because at least I don't have to resort to that anymore, and I only have to try my best to be conscious of my spending and save consistently every month.
About consistency, I apply it to other areas of my life as well and as I wrote previously, I am still pursuing a part-time degree and honestly, it has not stopped being hard. However, in life, I learn to take things one step at a time whenever I feel overwhelmed. Assignments that seem hard, in terms of the questions and the thinking that I have to do for someone who is obviously not gifted in intellect. However, I learnt to overcome my fear by taking one step at a time, by understanding the content as much as I can and then applying my knowledge to ensure my assignments and exams will at least get a good passing grade.
Believe it or not, I apply the concept of taking one step at a time even when taking a shower too, especially when I am still groggy after being awake so early in the morning. So first I will wash, then soap, brush my teeth and so on. It's easy to feel overwhelmed, over many things in life. But if we can just focus on the steps that we can do right now, one at a step, to reach a goal, let's say, to finish a work or school assignment or a savings amount that we have in mind. For instance, The GST hike makes me thinks harder about the importance of saving and to treat it seriously. So now I force myself to save a certain amount each month and not touch it at all which means controlling my expenses and re-look on my lifestyle like thinking hard if I really need this item.
I am also wondering about how the world will be a better place if people are more understanding and not so self-conceited and selfish. But that's how the society is right now and we can't just change them instantly. For many, it's just their upbringing and values in life where sadly, they often put 'me' first even if it means being unkind to others as though showing kindness is a form of weakness. I have also become more accepting of life circumstances, that I will never be able to have this or that, and how some people won't change, so might as well make some peace with it. Sometimes, it's for the best though it may take quite some time to realize it later.
But if we really want something, we can make a lot of effort for it and set the right intentions. It's just that we have to accept the outcome, whatever it is, knowing we have already tried our best. It's a hard pillow to swallow but we can manage our expectations and hope that things will work out better for us in other forms of happiness.
I hope there are some things that you can learn from what I wrote, even it is just one, as I am only here to share the knowledge. Since this is my first post after so long, please forgive me if you think it's too long and wordy though I have tried my best to keep it concise each paragraph, haha.
Have good week ahead!
Love,
Rahayu
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