Actually, I meant to write this one first but I got caught up writing about my fascination with Live action Manga. Anyway, this post was supposed to be written on Mothers' Day or at least the day after but here goes.
So early in the morning, I got a text in one of the WhatsApp group wishing one another a Happy Mother's Day. One of them was saying that this is a bittersweet day for her because her late mum passed away on Mother's Day. But nevertheless, she made the same wish as well. Of course initially I didn't say anything coz I am not a mother so while they continued on with the conversation a little longer, I just dismissed them. However, later on in the evening, I just wished them the same. I wanted to say something more like oh, you're like the chosen ones to be a Mother or being a Mother is a gift for you all but I didn't know how to quite word it, so I just went with the generic Happy Mother's Day to them, lol.
When I went to the IG, there were numerous long dedications even if their own Mothers do not have an Instagram account. So perhaps they would just show them and say this is what I wrote about you. Or maybe they just want to give a shoutout to other people what their Mothers had done for them and how appreciate they were now that they are mothers as well.
Some also share their triumphant stories becoming a mother of which the journey to become one wasn't easy. So there were first time mothers celebrating it this year as a new mum to a baby that was a long time coming for them. Therefore this was a very special celebration for them.
One of them was a pretty young mum who became one to a really cute baby when her business was taking off and having her own store selling party wares as well besides the usual event decors. Managing a business wasn't easy but she could hire people to help out in the daily running of the business while still able to run the administrative part from her home. So this made her appreciate her mum even more going through motherhood now.
The ones that struck me the most was other first time mothers who took a long time, and often painful journey, both physically and mentally, to get to this stage of holding their babies which they dubbed as a miracle or God's gift to them after being patient for many years.
Being married for years and not being able to conceive and yet the people around you are blessed to become parents while you're struggling. Then one may start to wonder if something was wrong with them. Or that they had dome something in the past which angered God and hence, thing long and painful wait to have a baby. One lady was sharing in her blogpost the anguish she went through, to a point where she was doubting God, even though it would be against her religion but she couldn't help it as she felt that life wasn't fair to us.
But slowly, when she finally managed to conceive, she realised that it was all about the right
timing.
Having a successful cosmetics business and yet still feeling 'empty' inside as though life was incomplete and yet this other lady didn't give up hope. As age was catching up, she had to act fast too but of course, this depends on our body too on whether it is willing to cooperate. Many times she shared on youtube videos her infertility journeys and how it was really hard for her both mentally and physically. And then on top of that, went through 2 failed marriages and it felt as though she was losing hope already.
But I guess, three's a charm and with a supportive husband, she didn't go through this journey alone and just as she was about to give up having reached 40 with no news, she was blessed with a surprise and her baby was born healthy just last month. Our body is such that as we age, it doesn't perform as well as before so there will be complications but I guess if you really really want something, if everything's aligned, who knows what your luck will be.
There was also another first time mother. I don't know why my Instagram feed has many first time mothers this year haha....a couple who has been married for 20 years and while they truly enjoy each other's company even without a child, because a marriage is more than just having children, they were blessed with one.
But also a shoutout to single mums who have to manage on their own, to bring up their children. There was one that went on Facebook live who shared her worries on how she was going to manage when at that point, her home based business of making cakes had to be put on halt due to the circuit breaker. The government wanted to minimise contact due the Covid-19 so such businesses had to stop. However, they caved in a little later on by lifting the ban but with strict measures in place.
I can't imagine her anguish as this is her only source of income, to bring her 5 children which included a special needs child that needs her constant attention. Hence that was also why she couldn't work outside with a regular job.
Single mums, whether they have one or a few children, life is tough for them as well. Without the support of the spouse, they have to take on two roles being both mum and dad and financially, it can be a struggle as well. But they are determined in life no matter what because their children mean everything to them that their struggles are secondary and that people's word can be very hurtful because the society can be cruel towards divorcees or single mums in general as though we are seen as the weaker sex.
For my mum, she didn't need all those declarations, cakes or flowers. Just a simple wish is enough for her to show that we don't forget, haha. But even then, it was difficult for us to say because we are not open in showing our emotions. However, we do appreciate what she has done for us and I've always taught my brother to give thanks but yah, he has his moments especially when he's late for work and my mum is still struggling to get his things ready. For me, she can be a little OCD, worry over every single thing and many others but I am sure we, as children, have our own shortfall too. It's just that we do not realise it because we can be too selfish with our feelings.
To be honest, I don't know if I ever become a Mother and it's a fact that I have been ok with for a long time. So I will never know the anguish these ladies that I had written about earlier, have gone through. I am sure most women would want to become a Mother and to have a child of their own that they can love. Even if they become one not by choice, once they have eased themselves in the new role, it felt like a new beginning for them to make things right in life.
Being at this age late in life and not quite conforming to the role most women would be, people are bound to say something because well, they have opinions which I respect but don't necessarily agree. For me, everyone has a different path in life. It's a matter of how best you live it so that you will die with no regrets, hopefully. I've thought how my life will be like if I'm married with children. I'm sure I will be so busy to even have quiet moments or lazy times in bed just scrolling through social media. Perhaps I will be more productive? I don't know. But I don't like to entertain myself with such thoughts or dwell on them. We all have our own struggles, whether we're mothers or not in life. The best thing to do is to look forward to each day, being in the present moment, and not to give up hope even if all things may seem to be against us.
So early in the morning, I got a text in one of the WhatsApp group wishing one another a Happy Mother's Day. One of them was saying that this is a bittersweet day for her because her late mum passed away on Mother's Day. But nevertheless, she made the same wish as well. Of course initially I didn't say anything coz I am not a mother so while they continued on with the conversation a little longer, I just dismissed them. However, later on in the evening, I just wished them the same. I wanted to say something more like oh, you're like the chosen ones to be a Mother or being a Mother is a gift for you all but I didn't know how to quite word it, so I just went with the generic Happy Mother's Day to them, lol.
When I went to the IG, there were numerous long dedications even if their own Mothers do not have an Instagram account. So perhaps they would just show them and say this is what I wrote about you. Or maybe they just want to give a shoutout to other people what their Mothers had done for them and how appreciate they were now that they are mothers as well.
Some also share their triumphant stories becoming a mother of which the journey to become one wasn't easy. So there were first time mothers celebrating it this year as a new mum to a baby that was a long time coming for them. Therefore this was a very special celebration for them.
One of them was a pretty young mum who became one to a really cute baby when her business was taking off and having her own store selling party wares as well besides the usual event decors. Managing a business wasn't easy but she could hire people to help out in the daily running of the business while still able to run the administrative part from her home. So this made her appreciate her mum even more going through motherhood now.
The ones that struck me the most was other first time mothers who took a long time, and often painful journey, both physically and mentally, to get to this stage of holding their babies which they dubbed as a miracle or God's gift to them after being patient for many years.
Being married for years and not being able to conceive and yet the people around you are blessed to become parents while you're struggling. Then one may start to wonder if something was wrong with them. Or that they had dome something in the past which angered God and hence, thing long and painful wait to have a baby. One lady was sharing in her blogpost the anguish she went through, to a point where she was doubting God, even though it would be against her religion but she couldn't help it as she felt that life wasn't fair to us.
But slowly, when she finally managed to conceive, she realised that it was all about the right
timing.
Having a successful cosmetics business and yet still feeling 'empty' inside as though life was incomplete and yet this other lady didn't give up hope. As age was catching up, she had to act fast too but of course, this depends on our body too on whether it is willing to cooperate. Many times she shared on youtube videos her infertility journeys and how it was really hard for her both mentally and physically. And then on top of that, went through 2 failed marriages and it felt as though she was losing hope already.
But I guess, three's a charm and with a supportive husband, she didn't go through this journey alone and just as she was about to give up having reached 40 with no news, she was blessed with a surprise and her baby was born healthy just last month. Our body is such that as we age, it doesn't perform as well as before so there will be complications but I guess if you really really want something, if everything's aligned, who knows what your luck will be.
There was also another first time mother. I don't know why my Instagram feed has many first time mothers this year haha....a couple who has been married for 20 years and while they truly enjoy each other's company even without a child, because a marriage is more than just having children, they were blessed with one.
But also a shoutout to single mums who have to manage on their own, to bring up their children. There was one that went on Facebook live who shared her worries on how she was going to manage when at that point, her home based business of making cakes had to be put on halt due to the circuit breaker. The government wanted to minimise contact due the Covid-19 so such businesses had to stop. However, they caved in a little later on by lifting the ban but with strict measures in place.
I can't imagine her anguish as this is her only source of income, to bring her 5 children which included a special needs child that needs her constant attention. Hence that was also why she couldn't work outside with a regular job.
Single mums, whether they have one or a few children, life is tough for them as well. Without the support of the spouse, they have to take on two roles being both mum and dad and financially, it can be a struggle as well. But they are determined in life no matter what because their children mean everything to them that their struggles are secondary and that people's word can be very hurtful because the society can be cruel towards divorcees or single mums in general as though we are seen as the weaker sex.
For my mum, she didn't need all those declarations, cakes or flowers. Just a simple wish is enough for her to show that we don't forget, haha. But even then, it was difficult for us to say because we are not open in showing our emotions. However, we do appreciate what she has done for us and I've always taught my brother to give thanks but yah, he has his moments especially when he's late for work and my mum is still struggling to get his things ready. For me, she can be a little OCD, worry over every single thing and many others but I am sure we, as children, have our own shortfall too. It's just that we do not realise it because we can be too selfish with our feelings.
To be honest, I don't know if I ever become a Mother and it's a fact that I have been ok with for a long time. So I will never know the anguish these ladies that I had written about earlier, have gone through. I am sure most women would want to become a Mother and to have a child of their own that they can love. Even if they become one not by choice, once they have eased themselves in the new role, it felt like a new beginning for them to make things right in life.
Being at this age late in life and not quite conforming to the role most women would be, people are bound to say something because well, they have opinions which I respect but don't necessarily agree. For me, everyone has a different path in life. It's a matter of how best you live it so that you will die with no regrets, hopefully. I've thought how my life will be like if I'm married with children. I'm sure I will be so busy to even have quiet moments or lazy times in bed just scrolling through social media. Perhaps I will be more productive? I don't know. But I don't like to entertain myself with such thoughts or dwell on them. We all have our own struggles, whether we're mothers or not in life. The best thing to do is to look forward to each day, being in the present moment, and not to give up hope even if all things may seem to be against us.
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