Dancing Lights

Most of us get excited over birthdays because of the wishes and the celebrations. At times we naively think we have not changed much but when we looked back on past photos, oh boy...that was when reality sinks in. That's why I am not quite a fan of Facebook memories, haha..just kidding.

Well, we can't stop aging though there are those who age gracefully as though they're turning back time or looking even better than in their younger days. Time does not wait for anyone, it just keeps moving, whether we like it or not. We could be naive back then but wiser now, though this is not so applicable for all. I used to be very self conscious of myself (ok I still do but I take a chill pill now) where I often feel I don't belong with my twenties group of friends or colleagues. I never took care of my diet, exercise seemed like a luxury activity, and when people that I loved started to fall ill, my responsibility towards my family got heavier and my whole world changed. 

But I am not going to write about healthy lifestyle and all in this post but rather, the choices we make in life should rightfully be focused on the being a better person in life. We are still human beings though. We falter, we make mistakes or poor decisions in life and we get carried away be emotions of self loathing. Yet life is so much more than the number on the scale, the amount of money that we have or how many friends we have. Yet we choose to bear negative thoughts that we are simply not good enough.

Let us be free in making our own decisions that we believe are in align with our values and our interests, rather than be easily swayed by what many people are doing. Such as having our own families. Most of my friends or acquaintances have children and in a loving relationships. Everyday when I am out, I see many young families, very possibly the couples being younger than me. Do I want all that? Honestly, I don't. Yes, I do question myself if that's what I want, imagining myself having children, and a husband (being physically attractive and good looking is a bonus, haha!) and though I know it can bring immense joy, minus the petty quarrels or attention seeking children, I don't want any of it.

Sometimes, I feel like my crushes on some guys are just not necessary, if it's not going to be leading anywhere. Besides thinking about them unlikely showing the same interest, unless they don't mind chubby girls..haha, I feel like it's a waste of time, energy and mind games. But I can't help it, they're buffed, and friendly even if it's not towards me. I'm just a girl, who don't mind guys showing interests once in awhile, even if we're just going to be friends, haha!!

Still, I shouldn't get carried away. I want to really grab life and be my own person you know, not the kind the society dictates me to do. 

Be like the dancing lights, free spirited and not be so emo emo...just because I don't fit in like a puzzle in this conscious society. Even if you're a guy who doesn't like to go gym and prefers doing 'girly stuffs' like embroidery or paper crafting, or a girl who is into boxing, you do you, you know. Your interests, your preferences...like how I choose not to eat chilli or overly spicy food, even though I am Malay, and people often say 'oh I thought all Malays eat chilly or love spicy food'. Newsflash. Not all.

So, don't let age, gender, race or our physical size be in the way to achieve things in life. Who says big girls can't wear pretty clothes, find boyfriends or that women in general, should solely be housewives and not hold any important positions at work. 

We only get to live once. Put on your biggest smile and wake up fresh and be ready to take on the world :DDD