Sunday, July 09, 2017

Half the Year Gone..& Not Feeling so Great

Hang tight, this is going to be a long post.

I didn't start off July 2017 well because I felt down and out because half the year is gone and what have I achieved so far. But it's starting to pick up slowly and while finance wise, it's still a disappointment no matter how much effort I have put in, I still didn't want to give up. Yes sh*t happens in life and then things go south again but it doesn't mean I should stop and then forever be in this state. I am determined to move forward and continue to do my best. I must have a sense of direction in life and the journey itself can't be all smooth sailing.

So what I did was to write a blog post, uploaded some new pictures in my online shops' galleries and then I got an order query next day, hehe. And some more too. Sometimes you just need to give yourself the push to get over the rut. It's not going to be a quick fix and may take awhile but the point is to keep moving and moving on from the past and create a better future.

I hope I don't sound too philosophical but I acknowledge that not every day is a good day. July 1st is definitely not that day. You know, I had plans to buy this and buy that with my upcoming mid year bonus but judging from my current financial situation and my future plans as well, a nice bag will be suffice. Oh, and a good night moisturiser. Because I am not getting younger. Make up, if applied correctly, can enhance one's features whether young or old, but skincare must always be top priority at any age.

Things will not often go according to plan but sometimes it can also be for the better.

Speaking of plans, I was actually quite happy that I got to the weight that I've always considered as the next milestone. I think I kept yoyo-ing and then struggle ensues again -__- because it's like a never ending battle until I told myself, no more. I must up the notch. So I took on stair climbing every month despite the tempting escalator and picked up Zumba and now Strong by Zumba. This is in accompaniment of cutting down sugar and carbs. I wasn't consistent in April and May for the Strong by Zumba classes but starting from June, I went every week even though it was tougher the first 3 weeks because it was fasting month. I never felt such sheer exhaustion from the Strong by Zumba classes.

It is intense and also, the thing I needed to 'push' the scale down. I know numbers are not everything when it comes to taking good care of your health. But to me, there's nothing wrong in wanting to look good and feel good and to be at a stage where you're comfortable with your body, whatever the size is. I have no qualms not being the average female built as long as I am at a size I'm most comfortable with. Yes I am only human and while we often hear the advice of not comparing yourself to others, at times you can't help.  For now, I still have a long way to go.

While we continue with this journey, we should not forget to think positive and start being happy now rather than wait for things that we want to happen before we be happy.

So that weight loss kinda lifted my mood up a bit when I was at the gym after being absent for like more than a month as I had to travel end of May and then fasting month ensued. The next challenge is having to maintain that weight loss. Also to lose even further. Frankly speaking, I'm not looking at drastic weight loss but just something that I feel comfortable in my own skin, even if there's rolls of fats to love, haha.

The following days after the 1st of July weren't so great as well. I even attended the funeral of an old friend of mum who got very sick in recent times. When I was at the cemetery, I was facing rows of new graves where the people had passed just mere days ago. I feel sad that our life is just a fleeting moment. We do not know when our days will be numbered. 

So we should learn to lead a life of greatness. We may still lead a simple and happy lifestyle but it should be one that we are proud of because within ourselves, we feel great. Having the ability to take care of our family, living a good life through our sheer hard work..and so  many other things that make our life feel fulfilled.

We may not feel so great on some days too, just like myself these whole week when I see my money dwindles down so much I can't even buy bread. I had to give excuse that there's no bread, when there was actually bread..though not the one I usually buy. The bread was even discounted at a special price. Yes I felt sad but I still got the things for the family and bought materials for the box card for delivery the next day.

The financial situation improved a little the next day when I received about $40 from my orders. I was so thankful that they contacted me for collection. I know nowadays not all customers keep to their promise of collecting the goods even after showing them that you have completed. It's honestly very sad. To them, they didn't lose any money but for me I did, and it was very sad because I wasted my time and money.

I had never felt so desperate for money. I was really down to the last $6 which I found actually in a red packet that I had slipped inside my planner. It was meant as a last resort only and the notes were actually very new and in running order. In the end, I didn't get to use it as I got paid for my orders which allowed me to top up ez link for travelling, pay for food and buy groceries.

I keep telling myself no more of such incidents of being so broke but unfortunately, it happened again. Now I can slightly breathe because my brother received his pay slightly earlier and he gave me a $100 which I am trying my best to make it last until my pay day this Wednesday. I will also be receiving my mid year bonus and based on the pay slip, I could stash away some money for savings, or at least keep me afloat for the next few months until December.

Then again, I will promise myself I will not be so broke again. Nobody likes the feeling of being broke. You feel so lost and helpless or even useless like a complete failure. But again, it is something that I must work on in order to feel great again and lead a life of greatness.

Let's all restart the engine and rev towards something great to look forward to. We should look forward to life that we want and life is too short to just think about problems only. We must also look for solutions and have goals in life that keep us motivated and looking forward to especially on days when we are not feeling so great. Good luck everyone :)

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