You've Got This, Girl..Getting My Act Together

When I turned 35 last Sunday after midnight, I had quite a restless night. I kept thinking about money and how much money I would have left even before payday. Well, I am still not well off but I have been trying to not spend that much except on the family because I still need to get groceries and buy for them food. I do so within my means but my mum's philosophy of feeding good quality food is sometimes taking a toll on me. But I can't argue against her 'philosophy' which is also mixed in with buying food for the fam which doesn't include healthy meals. 

ANYWAY..

I'm typing this with a sore finger so please bear with me, coz I doubt it will be very long.

I somehow told myself in my head that I should'nt be too bothered with all this and just take it one day at a time and to think positively. But at the same time, to also continue to work hard in life and not whine that life sucks and all. Positive affirmations help me to achieve balance spiritually and one thing I learnt this morning is that some people are worse off than me. 

Dealing with a family member's illness and mounting medical bills, ownself's illness, taking care of small children and yet, with these problems that they are dealing or have dealt with, they don't look as though they're holding the burden on their shoulders. They love their job, they love serving people with such cheerfulness and they love the fact that they are able to turn their lives around and are grateful for still being alive and being able to walk after being paralysed waist down just a year ago.

I do not like living paycheque to paycheque. I want to have money all the time and I don't like to think too far ahead in future judging from how much money I have at the moment. While that still scares me now, I just think to myself that I need to get my act together. Nobody is driving this life but ME. I need to stay strong because I'm a fighter within. I know I can do this. I know I've got this sh*t together.

But I need to do and not just think or plan or say those things only. I need to show it through my actions. People have gone to the lowest point of their life, even contemplating suicide on several occasions when things get too tough for them to deal with emotionally but they just move on and lift themselves out from despair. 

I know I can beat through the despair of not knowing if I can continue to have money until my next pay cheque. I am going to stay strong and do what it takes because 'you've got this, girl'



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