Saying Goodbye to 2019 Soon

It's interesting to get to know how different people lead their lives. Some are doing well in life, some barely coping and there are also some who lead such unbelievable lives, and the envy of many people who can only dream to have even an inch of what they have.

Everyone's motivation in life is different. What works well for one family may not be as such for another one. In social media, people mostly try to show their better side, often curated lives and of course they won't show the behind the scenes where they bust their a** hustling, working from one client to another and through late nights. Even if what they perceived to be vlogging a 'day in their life', which is like a video diary of what they do for that day, they may only choose to show perhaps less than half of what they normally do.

During this Christmas season, I actually used to enjoy watching this series on Youtube called Vlogmas, a daily or weekly style of vlogging by people who don't have a regular job like most people. They call themselves influencers or you tubers and they get paid to do advertisements or contractual works that can pay them pretty well in monetary terms and gifts. A girl in her twenties can be able to afford a small house or apartment unit all to herself on the revenue made from youtube.  While the rest of their peers are still struggling with work or study woes, debts from student loans, family commitments and multiple jobs to make ends meet.

But some of them have a legit business like an online clothing store or make up lines once they have found success on you tube and started these businesses from their you tube revenue. This is when they try to pull in sales through their viewers and so in short, people like us make them even richer, lol...while we still continue to struggle af.

The life. What motivates us to succeed in life? How do we define success? Is it by having more wealth, to maintain a healthier lifestyle, to pursue our passions and be good at it? What does 2020 mean to us?

Anyway, 2020 is mere days from now and prior to this, I had been really busy with orders for Christmas, birthdays, anniversaries and even farewell..like December seems to be the hot month. There would be times where I start to be busy from the time I wake up as I rush the orders for afternoon or evening delivery. And now is my free moment and after so busy, now I feel so empty, haha. And I spent like more than half an hour posting new listings on my bed. Sometimes I want to take a mini break but when I see other people work hard and selling even more things than me, I feel like eh..I'm only doing a microscopic part of what they're doing. How can I even complain of being not as successful as them.

But I shouldn't compare myself to them. I can learn from them instead such as to have a good and positive attitude like them. Work hard and play hard. That is one of my goals for 2020.

Another goal is of course to be financially stable and I know this is my motivation every year, lol. But I hope next year will be different. I know it's not impossible, such as clearing a major debt this year, even if it means sacrificing $300 and almost double that amount on months that I have a bonus. Luckily, I managed to clear before the year end bonus so I get to enjoy and save more of the money. You know what sucks. When I am penny pinching just to be able to survive the next few days, every week, so I can continue to buy food and groceries for the fam and also buy lunch.

I want to have money not just for the sake of surviving mere days in the present but rather, use money for future big plans. It's annoying to calculate to the very last dollar and hoping nothing major comes along. I know it's not impossible because many people have saved successful despite the struggles. Like there is this one YouTuber, who is a single mum of two, who got out of debt early this year, and has been saving aggressively and it was a big change from her worrying what to feed her children with the very little money she had left and to give them a comfortable life. She still is cautious of her spending as what matters more to her, is having enough savings for a few financial goals, including for her children's education.

Though I have no children, I do want to be able to move on beyond point A and explore other options through savings.

This year, I've mentioned before that I have been learning Spanish daily ever since June but as I progress, it gets more difficult though with enough practice, it's still doable. Problem is, it's easier on the app but when it comes to speaking, I still struggle like I'm trying to piece the words together to form a sentence. It's somewhere in my head but it somehow turns out different when I try to verbalise it. Basically, I need to not just learn through writing practice but speaking. But who can I speak to? So we shall figure it out for 2020, lol.

I am also learning to be more grateful with what's been given and to have trust in Him. I also want to do things that are in line with His teachings of kindness and compassion and to be less selfish and less critical of people. Because I am not in their shoes and I don't know or may not understand their situation so it's not for me to judge. Even if they have done wrong or say the wrong things to hurt us or other people. We just hope for the best of them that they will learn and be better people, instead of hurting other people because ultimately, they can get hurt themselves too.

 It's also about timing. It may not be now but for somewhere in the future and when we least expect it because God works in mysterious ways. Perhaps we have not worked hard enough, or we expect things to just come to us without doing anything. Maybe it's our attitude that needs to change first before things start to look up for us. 

My religious knowledge is very little but from what little I know, I hope to continue to make prayers for my family and myself or for other people who need help.  

Health wise, though I still hope that I can lose more weight, lol..even if it's beyond impossible, I still will continue to up my fitness in 2020 and to work towards a healthier lifestyle. I don't think I did very well this year to be honest. Perhaps I was being less committed. So next year, every Tuesday, I am going to commit to Strong by Zumba, and not alternate it with other types of dance fitness exercise. So Tuesdays will be for hardcore exercise, Thursdays for dance fitness exercise and Sundays for weight training and cardio at the gym. I will continue with my intermittent fasting on weekdays but I must make it a point to include fruits in my diet. I can go on without fruits for the whole week, that's how bad it is. Im quite fussy about fruits, haha..like some fruits are just so mushy like papaya. But I do like green apples and guava, those more hardy fruits? 

Mornings are per usual, milo and oatmeal and my next meal will only be at 12 plus followed by 7 or 8 plus at night. No in between. Only on weekends I don't follow so strictly but yes, starting from tomorrow, I must include fruits in my diet. Don't need to start next year.

All the best to you and your goals and Happy New Year!