Happy December and Last Month of 2019!
Happy 1st December! So I try to write as regularly as I can..not online though, but most of the time, it's through my journal. Though I have been writing for many years, on and offline, and starting to get a little more regularly recently, I guess it's just my way of telling my personal life stories, as mundane as some days can be. Why? Because I want to have a sense of purpose in life and to feel human with the various emotions like anger, sadness..fair share of disappointment and happiness. To make this life more meaningful with insights and stories I've learnt and to be more reflective.
Currently, I am subscribed to three things. At one point, I kinda think that I am overwhelming myself like as if I don't have enough bills to pay, lol. They are monthly subscriptions to a planner kit, a self care kit and Netflix. For the planner kit, I get quite a generous amount of stickers, papers, a pen and some special things that the company owner and designer had come up with. I pay 30 over dollars and yes it seems a little much but for the amount of things I get (stickers and pretty papers..yum!) and that I like to decorate my planner with stickers because I'm a forever sticker loving kid, I feel like I get more than I paid for.
As for the other subscription, it's a cheaper at $19.90 and I have access to podcast, love letters written by the founder and a mini course by invited guest speakers. It's for the modern Muslimah who wishes to live a more fulfilling life in accordance to God's teachings. It's not very preachy but there are a lot of wisdom behind these interviews, written letters, book excerpts and others that you can't help but feel a little guilty at times especially when we have been a living a life without a sense of direction. I, for once, acknowledge that I can never be perfect but at the very least, I want to make sure I want to lead a better life each and every day of my life for as long as I am still living and breathing.
It's no easy task because sometimes, we may say or do things without thinking or say, we DO think but we chose to follow the other route because it seems more 'interesting' such as talking behind other people's back. Or for me, sadly, raising my voice to my mum because at times, she can be a little testy but on the hindsight, I shouldn't. What I should have been..was to be a little more patient and understanding that people at her age, can be a little bit more fussy than before and a little hard on hearing too.
For last month, the topic was on forgiveness. I uhm..haven't followed the mini course on that yet because I felt that I am a forgiving person, lol. No, really. I do not hold grudges or anger too long, I can forgive them quite easily though I can feel disappointed with some people because of their attitude which upsets me. For instance, my brother who raised his voice at me to cut me off when I barely completed the sentence just because it didn't interest him. Or for that girl who blocked me on her WhatsApp, which only God knows why, and didn't pay me despite showing her evidence that I had done her thing and posted it as well.
On the hindsight, maybe I should start to follow the mini course before starting this month's course. It was on forgiveness not just between me and another person but between me and God too.
For December, the topic will be on Purpose. Though we have arrived at the last month of 2019, we may or may not achieve some goals we have set at the start of the year, but I feel that everyday our goal is to be a better person. And to find purpose in our lives.
I used to think that one's life comprised of getting a good education, have a career, get married to someone great and have a family and your life is so darn perfect. But I don't know, maybe I've always known that I don't quite fit in to societal norms, and that I don't like to be pigeonholed. Of course, I do have thoughts on why am I so different but the older I get, the more I feel that I am lucky being MYSELF in so many ways. I just go with the flow, you know.
Like this picture, for instance.
I may not be travelling to different parts of the world like some other people do. But it doesn't mean my life is not fulfilling. Maybe one day, I have the financial means to enjoy travelling. As for now, I get to participate in events like this 2 hour Zumba last Saturday. Damn tiring but fun too.
Do I get to still enjoy this if I get married and have kids? Of course! I am not just saying for the sake of it but after I finished this class, someone recognised me (despite the sweaty and dishevelled looks) and she brought her daughter as well for the Zumba. While many others had left, they stayed on, this mother and daughter team.
See? It's about purpose. You find purpose by doing a variety of things you enjoy in life and that for some of them, you just spend more time on them and taking it on further, like say, teaching others or organising various Zumba related events. Some people like to draw flowers and they are so passionate about it, they start teaching classes or draw flowers on various practical things like handbags and watches and start a whole new career on it.
For me, I like to draw flowers but they're not sellable art, lol. So I have resigned to fate that I just draw for fun. I stick to making box cards and scrapbooking mini albums..haha.
So don't feel dejected that well, 2019 has been 'meh' for you. Just feel blessed that we are still here and that we are still in good health and have a chance to self improve day by day. The small steps we take each day, the different things we take on, the friendships that are still strong and the family bonds that we share, all of this matter, whether we are rich or poor. Oh yes, and our health and happiness, they matter too.
Let's close 2019 on a good note for this month of December.
Currently, I am subscribed to three things. At one point, I kinda think that I am overwhelming myself like as if I don't have enough bills to pay, lol. They are monthly subscriptions to a planner kit, a self care kit and Netflix. For the planner kit, I get quite a generous amount of stickers, papers, a pen and some special things that the company owner and designer had come up with. I pay 30 over dollars and yes it seems a little much but for the amount of things I get (stickers and pretty papers..yum!) and that I like to decorate my planner with stickers because I'm a forever sticker loving kid, I feel like I get more than I paid for.
As for the other subscription, it's a cheaper at $19.90 and I have access to podcast, love letters written by the founder and a mini course by invited guest speakers. It's for the modern Muslimah who wishes to live a more fulfilling life in accordance to God's teachings. It's not very preachy but there are a lot of wisdom behind these interviews, written letters, book excerpts and others that you can't help but feel a little guilty at times especially when we have been a living a life without a sense of direction. I, for once, acknowledge that I can never be perfect but at the very least, I want to make sure I want to lead a better life each and every day of my life for as long as I am still living and breathing.
It's no easy task because sometimes, we may say or do things without thinking or say, we DO think but we chose to follow the other route because it seems more 'interesting' such as talking behind other people's back. Or for me, sadly, raising my voice to my mum because at times, she can be a little testy but on the hindsight, I shouldn't. What I should have been..was to be a little more patient and understanding that people at her age, can be a little bit more fussy than before and a little hard on hearing too.
For last month, the topic was on forgiveness. I uhm..haven't followed the mini course on that yet because I felt that I am a forgiving person, lol. No, really. I do not hold grudges or anger too long, I can forgive them quite easily though I can feel disappointed with some people because of their attitude which upsets me. For instance, my brother who raised his voice at me to cut me off when I barely completed the sentence just because it didn't interest him. Or for that girl who blocked me on her WhatsApp, which only God knows why, and didn't pay me despite showing her evidence that I had done her thing and posted it as well.
On the hindsight, maybe I should start to follow the mini course before starting this month's course. It was on forgiveness not just between me and another person but between me and God too.
For December, the topic will be on Purpose. Though we have arrived at the last month of 2019, we may or may not achieve some goals we have set at the start of the year, but I feel that everyday our goal is to be a better person. And to find purpose in our lives.
I used to think that one's life comprised of getting a good education, have a career, get married to someone great and have a family and your life is so darn perfect. But I don't know, maybe I've always known that I don't quite fit in to societal norms, and that I don't like to be pigeonholed. Of course, I do have thoughts on why am I so different but the older I get, the more I feel that I am lucky being MYSELF in so many ways. I just go with the flow, you know.
Like this picture, for instance.
 |
| Cool down..finally! |
Do I get to still enjoy this if I get married and have kids? Of course! I am not just saying for the sake of it but after I finished this class, someone recognised me (despite the sweaty and dishevelled looks) and she brought her daughter as well for the Zumba. While many others had left, they stayed on, this mother and daughter team.
See? It's about purpose. You find purpose by doing a variety of things you enjoy in life and that for some of them, you just spend more time on them and taking it on further, like say, teaching others or organising various Zumba related events. Some people like to draw flowers and they are so passionate about it, they start teaching classes or draw flowers on various practical things like handbags and watches and start a whole new career on it.
For me, I like to draw flowers but they're not sellable art, lol. So I have resigned to fate that I just draw for fun. I stick to making box cards and scrapbooking mini albums..haha.
So don't feel dejected that well, 2019 has been 'meh' for you. Just feel blessed that we are still here and that we are still in good health and have a chance to self improve day by day. The small steps we take each day, the different things we take on, the friendships that are still strong and the family bonds that we share, all of this matter, whether we are rich or poor. Oh yes, and our health and happiness, they matter too.
Let's close 2019 on a good note for this month of December.
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