Activating Inner Beast & Boss Mode

me self reflecting on life

Last week, I was quite a mess in regards to managing my life. I felt a little out of grasp because I guess I tend to focus my energy more on things that don't add meaning to my life. However, I still enjoy those moments but it was a little bit on the excessive. But it's not all the way down the rabbit hole for me. I still manage to achieve some things such as attending a free live webinar on spiritual course where I managed to sit through for one and a half hour without wanting to quit. 

In terms of fitness, I did not manage to work out at least 3 times in that week and that one time I didn't do it was because of the webinar that fell around the same time I normally do the workout. However, not to give an excuse as I could have planned to do earlier or after. But no. I take it as full 'break', lol.

And I haven't been eating well for quite a long time because I gave myself too many excuses that it's ok to eat that stick of fishball, that curry puff, the fried chicken and so on. I don't restrict myself totally but when I have the option not to buy them, I chose to buy. So it's a matter of choice to satisfy my craving once too many. 

Then I wonder why I haven't lost any weight, haha.

I also wasn't feeling it when doing workouts like I would feel so lazy to start the ball rolling but once I put on the exercise pants and lay out the mat, I Just have to grind it. To be honest, it was only the starting point and knowing that I have to rush home in time before dinner to work out, that thought kept playing in my mind like how hard the workouts gonna be later. You know how you don't want to do it because it is hard and tiring, even though the longest session I ever do is 20 min plus which is like watching one anime episode.  But you  just have to get over it done with.

But it takes mental willpower, lol.

Then I decided to do a mental shift. Yes some moves can be hard and literally make you sweat buckets all of a sudden when at first, you were just glossing through. But I tell myself to focus on the breathing during the slower pace moves so that I can hype myself to do the tougher ones. And to not rush through and do it at a level that's not too fast or too slow but just nice for me in a controlled manner. 

Seeing other women's progress, especially those who struggle with weight loss being on a heavier side, seeing them motivated with their small and consistent progress, and even happy doing the workouts, is very admirable. Some people I follow on IG have also started workout trends such as clocking 10K per day of walking or hiking and fitting in work out routines at a convenient time for them before or after their personal and work commitments.

Health matters but it's up to each individual to manage the activities that promote healthy living whether through regular workouts, sports or daily walks. There is literally no excuse and if you can take it one day at a time doing your best at what is manageable for you, with consistency and hard work, you will reap the benefits. You need to pace yourself too. 

I watched a YouTube video today and I used to watch her vlogs in the past because she was such an inspiration losing so much weight and was totally into fitness. But over time, I got bored of her content because each day that she filmed, she pretty much did the same thing. I know she was serious about fitness but doing it several times daily, I dunno..seems like an overkill to me. And then recently she got flak and mean comments as they noticed she put on weight. Actually I thought she looked different but to go to the extreme to leave such comments, that is another level.

However there is still a need to be gentle to ourselves if there are some days we can't do it because you know, either life happens or you have special occasions. She is slowly getting back into fitness but doing in a way that is not taking a mental toll on her. It is a longer and harder journey than when she did 3 times of workout in a day where she would be angry with herself if she could only manage 2.

I also need to active my 'boss mode'. I think that this is applicable to all areas of my life and recently, I lost a bit of control over my finances as well. I eased a little and then the next thing I know, wham! I bought things that aren't necessary without second thoughts thinking it will not cause a dent in my savings. 

And then seeing my savings depleting a little, I got discouraged. But then again, I realised I miscounted so ok, I just gave myself a wild card by somehow managing to keep it neutral aka no increase or decrease. Now I am back on track and I still learn my lesson though. 

These may not seem much but believe me, if we keep giving ourselves one too many excuses, it's actually easy to fall off the course and getting back in, can be tougher. So why give ourselves such misery. Yes we do mess up sometimes because we're not perfect but it doesn't mean we don't learn anything from our mistakes.

Take the chance of each brand new day as a new opportunity for us to get our life back on track, better than it was yesterday.  Life is tough but we are tougher :)