Celebrating the Small Wins

Photo by Dennis Magati from Pexels

I was supposed to upload a blogpost last week because well, I recently stated to follow a weekly goal format to be more productive to benefit my physical, mental and spiritual self. Then last week also welcomed a brand new month which is July and that means we have just completed the first half of the year which is honestly hard for most of us due to the global pandemic. A lot of things that many of us planned ahead in life, go up in smoke, as if God is laughing at us and reminding us at the same time that He is the ultimate planner. You can plan up to the most minute details and then things happen and you can't carry it out and just hope for the best, or at least try to 'wing' it. 

So at this point, many of us just wanted to survive and come out strong. Such tough times forced us to re-evaluate our lives on what matters to us more, rather than just cruising through life like it's fine and dandy.

But we can't be heroes everyday. There are times when we struggle or get mentally exhausted. In other words, physically we are here but our mind can be somewhere else. Last week, I was busy with work like I've never been so busy before during my work from home stint, lol..because it's the ranking season where people at my Division get ranked accordingly based on performance. So there was a lot of prep work which I didn't mind so at least I felt like WFH was worth it. And also, last Friday signalled my first return to office ever since mid April and may likely continue on for the next few days except for the weekend.

I didn't think I was exhausted from work and returning to office but last Saturday, I felt totally off. Like I wanna do things but I just don't have the motivation to do so. I felt as though I didn't have things under control in my life. In short, I felt like a disappointment. 

At first in early part of the week, I was already a bit disappointed that I didn't quite get the halfway mark results like the other girls online who followed similar workout programme by Chloe Ting. Sure there are a lot of disclaimers surrounding the programme and that every body is different. But in your enthusiasm of wanting 'quick results', you sorta set high expectations and forget that fitness is more than just looking physically good. 

Then I watched more of these results videos and came across realistic ones unlike people who were previously fit but gained a bit of weight during the quarantine. Obviously, the results were more prominent on them. For uhm..people who have always been on a heavier side for years or having post pregnancy bodies, you should see their faces when they did a review based on the old and new pics and felt amazed their hard work paid off. Truth be told, I could only see subtle changes like if I really looked carefully. But these subtle changes made them very happy and proud of their achievements. They didn't make comparisons with other people and lamenting how they looked like that but they all still looked like this. 

It's also not a quick fix like I can't expect to see outstanding results within 28 days of the programme, of which not all 28 days were workout days. There were rest days too. I would need to work for several months more if I want to see legit remarks. 

Another worry of mine is money though admittedly, I was disappointed mostly coz of this. It's not that I lacked money and financially, I'm pretty good but I felt that I could do better. I would start to figure out what went wrong when I was trying hard already not to spend unnecessarily but well..I still need to spend on my family but I can't blame it on them. I'm just like every other family, we need to buy food and groceries. 

However, on the hindsight, I felt that these worries were pretty uncalled for. What was I expecting? A lot of savings? A fit body? Have I become too concerned about worldly possessions or desires? Have I put more emphasis on gaining knowledge, being more kind and humble, perform acts to be closer to God? 

Where does my happiness equation gravitate towards? 

I need to devise a new game plan for the second half of the year. I need to look really hard inside and go through every strain of thoughts that cloud my judgments and make things right this time. What would be my priorities? 

And while I am at it, I also need to start celebrating the small wins. Because every small win means we are choosing to still be on the journey, no matter how difficult it get at times. To make wiser choices even if we don't feel like doing certain things because they felt like chores but we did it anyway as we want to progress towards our goals, not digress. 

I will always remember times when I was really sick, mostly fever and bad tummy aches, common ailments for me, I stopped thinking about any other things except that I just want to feel better again. It's annoying when I could hardly stand in the shower and had to sit every now and then on the toilet and wash up, lol. I then will continuously pray to God to rid of the pain so that I will feel better again. That was all I wanted. My recovery is pretty fast which I'm always thankful for coz I can only tolerate that much of pain.

I also like to follow and learn from positive people, online and offline, admiring their work ethics, zest for life, thirst for knowledge and continued sincerity and humbleness towards helping others. 

I am pretty sure not every day is a good day for them too just like how my last Saturday was an 'off' day for me though that morning, I earned $12 from selling a box card after so long. I should look forward to more sales in future once things start to pick up and people are more comfortable with meeting up to collect their handmade goods that they have bought. I'm not looking for great profits like I used to earn. 

So this is my way of contributing to the community, instead of just focusing on earning a bit of money here and there to simply survive day to day. Sometimes it's just me..overthinking.

But it's not just something to be taken lightly. I need to mentally push away the bad thoughts and just focus on the wins like that Saturday too, I didn't feel like doing another workout as part of the programme. But I did it anyway because it was the perfect time and with no disturbances or distractions. It's a matter of mind over matter. So I am glad I completed it, sweat and all, and checked a day off the programme.

I still think it's ok when you don't feel your best. You're still not a failure. But don't dwell on it too long when you can slowly overcome the dreaded feeling by doing things that will make you happy. I read a post recently on this young lady who woke up pretty upset because she feel tired and overworked. She just could not go through another day of working tirelessly again. So her husband asked her what's wrong and she told him how she felt and then asked if there's anything that she would do instead for the day. She said she just wanted to watch cooking shows. And so she did for that whole day which made her super happy and took her mind off work and stress. 

So we have to be kind to ourselves too. Yes in life, one has to work hard in order to achieve but life is also more than that. It's not just serving other people but taking care of our own needs too. So start celebrating the small wins now :)