Do We Lose Freedom When We Are Married?

Freedom is such an open word. It can mean freedom of speech, freedom to explore the world and freedom to live the life that you want. Often people feel that they are being pigeonholed and that their lives are being controlled by other people, whether by closed ones or those unrelated to them.

Each person's definition of freedom is different though the main thing still remains that people want to feel 'free' and able to make decisions on their own. 

Some people view marriage to be one that hinders their progression in life. Though I'm not married myself, initially I thought being unmarried means having the lack of freedom to do what I want. Being in marriage means having to do things only after consulting with my husband or do things for the sake of my children which means sacrificing a lot of things that I used to do back when I am still single.

But it's not true. It still depends on how you choose to lead your life and how supportive your spouse is. I mean being single doesn't mean that I don't have to make sacrifices either. We still have responsibilities whether towards our own family, business or work. Basically we need to give ourselves the permission to do things that continue to bring meaning to our lives and that we enjoy doing because it makes us happy.

Being married doesn't always mean our life is complete. We still face challenges. For many others, marriage is another stepping stone in life and not a progression in life. Progress is simply realising what we can do and working hard towards reaching our highest potential. 

There are many women who still continue to work hard doing what they love best and yet they still have a family to run. They follow their dreams, they are leaders in their respective fields and they make time for their hobbies such as fitness or even painting. It takes a lot of clever time management and roping other people to help them but they continue to be in control of everything in life. Of course we're still human beings, things may not go according to plan and we can make mistakes. That's basically life in general, married or otherwise. But we do not remain defeated. We rise up to the occasion and do even better and move on.

I am writing this because I was thinking about my friend who is getting married and being a single woman for so long and that having the right one to come along, she seems to embrace it all that her life is about to change. Of course it's natural to feel worried and wondering about how things are going to be, with all the changes ahead. I would like I don't know if I can cope. But based on the advice given to her, she realised that you will just know what you have to do. It will take awhile to get used to it but you'll come round it. 

In life, we constantly have to improve for as long as our mental and physical being is able to. Sometimes I do wonder if I ever get married,  there are so many things that I need to work on in order to make myself the better half, instead of bringing in more problems. But we don't have to wait for that one person to jolt us from our daydream and finally do something about our life it if hasn't been in order. Just remember, this life is ours. Not our mum, our dad, our husband or wife. It is ours to keep. So people will always talk, whether we are married or not, and then when we do not have children, when are we going to have them. If we have just one child, when are we going to have another one. It goes on and on.

So basically, chill :) Don't feel pressurised that our life isn't quite the same as other people like when our friends are mostly married, why aren't we in that same group. That single person can be single by choice or single because he or she has yet to find the one to marry. So let this unsettling feeling go and just wing it. This life is yours and you have the freedom to make the decisions on your own, if you only let yourself be.