Reflecting On Our Mortality

Do you often think about your own mortality? Like how long do you think you live on this earth and whether you have done enough in this short life. To be honest, I do think but it's not so frequent. Rightfully, I should be trying to live my best each day, but I don't. I do attempt to do so but each night, after I exercise and eat, I just want to spend the remaining hours of the day lazing in bed watching one tik tok video after another or reading manga. I felt like I deserve a break but I wanna be like most people who fall asleep intentionally, saying my prayers, reflecting on what I have done today not because I dozed off while watching a video, lol.

A recent passing of a Hollywood celebrity, who succumbed to his illness after 4 years of suffering with cancer, made many people in disbelief because while he was receiving treatments and surgeries, he was also making movies including the famous Black Panther. Nobody knew he was sick. He even went to press conferences and movie screenings, and then didn't show his vulnerability at all. However, if one was to listen carefully to his interview answers, he did talk about his illness briefly.

And the sad part was, he visited hospitals and would get overwhelmed with feelings seeing the sick children suffering from cancer. Amidst the sadness, he was perhaps reflecting on his own mortality as well. How life is short and how one should be driven to live his or her best life before we take our last breath.

Everyone faces challenges in life, even among the best of us. But at the same time, we can get a little obsessed over small matters that slowly consume our thoughts, making us feel all negative or worthless. The best comparison is to compare our life before and now to see how much we have progressed and how else we can improve. It's not about who is prettier, more successful or richer. Nothing wrong to get motivated or inspired by other individuals but it's only when it starts to become an obsession that if we don't reach that level of inspiration, we blame ourselves.

I often think that each of us lead different paths in life. They are bumpy and we all don't travel at the same speed. But we must have trust in Him that God has a plan for each one of us. What we have in mind, may not be necessarily what has been planned for us, or not the same as others, but we need to trust that each plan that has been laid out for us, is of the best interest of us. Most times we can't see it like what's in it for us but as we self reflect, everything has its own timing and that we stand to benefit from it, often in ways that we can't imagine.

I was watching this talkshow recently and one of the hosts broke down as she recalled the time she received a devastating news from her doctor. She had Stage 1 Cancer and it felt as though her world fell apart. She was successful as a lawyer and sometimes she dabbles in the entertainment world such as being a host like in this show. When such news hit your hard like this, materialistic things start to not matter anymore. Her luxury bag and shoes, they became unimportant. At her age of being single, she felt that she was missing out by not being married and not having children that she thought she was a disappointment. She also thought about her aging parents, like who was going to care for them.

However, she started to realign her purposes in life. She didn't want to get married just coz everyone is. She did some self reflection and instead, chose to focus on what matters to her most. She started to seek the meaning in life and to serve the right purpose so she started to do volunteer work overseas. 

Most of us want to have a better life and that can also mean acquiring some wealth and it's not about having the ability to buy many material goods in life. Some will use the wealth they receive to pay it forward by helping others who are in need, besides providing for their family and their parents. If we can change our perceptions to be less selfish, be kinder and to think more about others and respecting their feelings, I think that we can achieve better outcomes in life when we also think about others as well. 

I chose to have gratitude in my life and if I were to compare my life with others constantly, I will never be happy. Do I  feel left out when they talk about things that are of no benefit to me? Especially, topics of relationships and raising children. Actually, no. I will still be keen on listening because these discussions are part of their lives and at most, I don't contribute since I have nothing on my side or they ask for my opinions. Usually, people feel happier when they can share with you things, and then you don't judge them but be supportive on the sideline, even if you can't really relate to the topics they're discussing.

The truth is, we can't control everything in life and within the four walls and away from the society's eyes, that person may be suffering in silence. Just like that late Hollywood actor I wrote about at the start of this post who lived day by day until his last breath.

There are also things in life that we really really want but somehow, they are not within our reach yet or it takes a longer time than we expected. This can really demotivates someone, such as finding love or having children. Amidst the smile, there is sadness in our hearts. Sometimes we can't help it but think a lot about it that it can over consume our minds. We can keep the thoughts, hoping that one day we will receive what our hearts desire but until then, life still goes on. So meanwhile, we should continue to live and do our best in our daily lives while holding on to hope.

So I feel that we should be kinder to people and respectful of their feelings because they may choose to hide behind their smiles. Recently, I was a little upset over something and someone but I chose to hide my disappointment as I thought about their smiles and how they were having fun. I think about hey, this is not my day and it's ok. But I also thought about how one can be so oblivious to it but perhaps it was not intentional. So if people are a little less selfish and be more aware of how other's feel, it can really help to strengthen the friendship or relationship because you have them in your thoughts.

This year is a very gloomy year for many of us as we deal with the pandemic and its effects. And it also proves to us that we may have the best plans, down to a T, but all can come crumbling down. But amidst the gloominess, there are still times that we treasure such as our catching up with friends after a long while as our previously planned meetings get postponed due to the soft lockdown. It makes our time together more meaningful.

So now, instead of just ticking our to do lists, let us self reflect and think about how these tasks that we have set ourselves to do, help us in our lives and to achieve the intentions that we have set. Coz our time here is also ticking away, slowly but surely.