Welcoming August & Getting Older

Mask up

We have entered August and next month is my birthday. One more year and I would be 40. Everyone's life journey is different at this stage. I follow an instagrammer who is also an influencer, has 5 children, with the eldest being Sec 1 and the youngest who just turned 1. I have friends whose children are entering primary school next year. Then I have another friend who is awaiting the arrival of her baby in December. In short, you can't really compare your life to theirs because everyone's life journey is different.

But one thing for sure, everyone too is getting older. It felt like just few years back you were together in school, loathing PE lessons especially the 2.4 km run (maybe just me) organising chalet outings, skipping lessons..heh..having crushes, and now you need to work to pay the bills, save enough for a new car, to move into a new or resale house and support the family. 

While I'm not married and the old times perceptions used to be that well, if you're single, you have ALL the time in the world. Not really true. I can't speak for the rest, I do have my busy moments too just like most people, married or otherwise.

But being busy doesn't give me the excuse to stop looking after myself. Recently, I met up with a customer whom I suppose was still young coz she got a gift box from me that was going to a 23 year old. And she was so darn immaculate. She had such pretty manicure which was definitely done at a salon. In dark blue and with pretty blings. And I didn't cut even cut my nails for two weeks, argh. While she is not quite average sized, but her dressing is still pretty, that again put me to shame, lol. I feel so auntie! 

I seriously lacked in self maintenance recently ever since I work from home and the only times I travel is to buy groceries but I try my best to at least draw my eyebrows. And ok, put a little face powder so I look fresh after being bored to death working from home on an almost daily basis. 

I remembered being around her age and I could not care less about my appearance. I still felt stuck in my late teen hood though perhaps I had a little more money power coz I started working already. But slowly as I mix more with people my age at that time, I got a little more courage to dress up a little better, including trying to fit in ill fitting shoes, just so that I could keep up with them. The biggest game changer was of course losing the weight that I gained when I left school and had no PE lessons so I just ate and ate not exercise.

But I became more conscious as I hit mid twenties to the extent of eating slimming pills prescribed by the doctor and also going to the office gym. I was so determined to keep up with exercising that I was even willing to travel all the way back to my office after my work attachment at Woodlands on some days when it ended. I was also so strict with my diet and I actually felt so tired most of the time, like wanting to look good came at a price for me.

While I have stopped taking such pills, I still work out and in my late thirties, began to up this game more like I don't know where I got the mad energy from. Maybe coz I was afraid of looking older? Exercising has proven to make you age backwards I guess. And I don't have to pay thousands of dollars for tip top skincare routine. 

Of course the last time was like, let's go! Lugging extra clothes, showering after gym-ing, gossiping about our colleagues, showing off our new body with off shoulder blouses, heh..And now it's like..eurgh..not looking forward but I just have to do it coz no pain, no gain. It's not about giving me a shot at confidence like I want to look good and feel good, which I feel is achievable at any size, provided you put in the time and effort to look after yourself, both inwardly and outwardly.

Easier said than done of course as it's so easy to dismiss our physical appearance because we have other 101 things to check off our list. So last few years I had been trying my best to plan my time well, though it's still a hard thing to do, especially with tik tok craze nowadays, oh my God. So many short videos to watch.

Even though I am reaching 40 next year, I still have a lot to learn and I may or may not have completely embraced adulthood. I used to yearn for my lost childhood where I don't have adult problems or finances to grapple with especially during very challenging times in which I doubted my existence.

One of the things I feel is somehow helping me is to keep a planner and stick to the scheduled tasks as much as possible. It is a challenge if some of the tasks are those I loathed and put off many times. For example, I want to read more. But gosh it's so boring. I know reading is beneficial, increases your knowledge, so and so forth...it's just not everyone's cup of tea, lol. I read mostly inspiring or motivational books so at least I get to learn new things or improve myself within that time of reading, to make up for my lack of love for it. And uhm..listening to music while reading helps to kill the boredom.

Having a routine also makes me more accountable like I feel that I have to do it.

I also do other 'me time' things like journaling, besides reading, which to me is far more interesting as I can do a self reflection and decorate my notebooks. To have such a time seems pretty luxurious if you have other people depending on you a lot. But I feel it's doable if you can somehow find the right time and place for it, or enlist other people's help while you attend to your own needs.

But one thing I learn is everyone gets older. At one point, I thought that those born in the 90s were still so young. Now even those born in 1990 has reached the age of 30. Of course it can get a little depressing seeing white hair on me (honestly, I hate it..haha) but I can't stop time. 

Going back to the immaculate early 20s young lady, you have a long way to go and you have a lot to learn too, besides the aspect of looking good on the outside. There are times it's hard to accept ourselves and we can be so darn upset about it. I am not 100% ok with my body especially when I have a body that is resistant to weight loss and I learnt that there is such a thing, I am not making this up to comfort myself. But we still have to be kind to ourselves.

I don't even have to go that far an age group but even the ladies of my age group, they are aging gracefully. In fact, what is aging to them? They are still looking after their own physical appearance, skin, body etc..besides feeding their spiritual self..because it's in a whole package. We can be kinder to ourselves by thinking about how our bodies have done so much for us, and while we are still in good health. And also, when you're kinder, you won't try to skip the most basic things like cutting the fingernails that are getting too darn long, haiz.