I have been listening to podcasts recently because I feel that it’s less distracting when I am doing work and I am pressed for time. I can focus more as there is nothing visual in front of me as distraction. So my eyes will be on the work I am doing. At the same time, I get to learn things and hear about other people’s life experiences where you typically don’t get to hear due to the sensitivity of the issues at hand such as divorce and cheating. Although I can’t relate but it doesn’t mean that I don’t get to learn from them. I learnt from how they deal with it when life threw them a curveball just when you thought all things were fine and dandy. It is not an easy feat and it can already be a few years since it happened but the pain is forever.
Yes it can be buried deep inside ourselves as we slowly pick ourselves up slowly and though it can never be like before, the happiness that we once felt, it doesn’t mean that our life will come to a standstill. So these people are survivors, especially when they had gone through pain and even abuse, lost of trust from their loved ones whom they thought would be with them until death do us part. We can cry, be in denial that such thing happened to us and feeling scared for the future. Adding to the frustration are people who talk behind our back and even to our face and making it seem like it was our fault. Insensitive comments like oh, you should have taken care of your outer appearance, should have made more effort etc etc...but we don’t know exactly what goes on behind closed doors or in privacy. It’s easy to judge but instead of judging and throw out such harsh comments disguised as being ‘concerned’, the least we could do is to offer a listening ear and be more sympathetic.
Like I don’t think anybody would wish for bad things or experiences to happen. Like losing loved ones, whether through separation or death, and I am sure everybody too, doesn’t want an abrupt ending to their fairytale weddings or dream life. When I first heard about my late father’s deteriorating health condition, I still remembered that sinking feeling inside of me and the great denial that this cannot be happening. He was fine all this time in the hospital. How can he suddenly turned for the worse overnight. And my immediate thoughts went into the rest of the people around me like why is it me, and not them? It was only when I got to see him later on that it hit me like a tonne of bricks. My world turned upside down and I broke down. Ever since that day, almost Everyday when i visited him in the hospital, i couldn’t help but cry. The one time I didn’t cry, I barely managed to hold the tears.
Hearing from these ladies on the divorce topic, how they found out slowly about the Husband cheating on them or dropping them a bomb out of nowhere by saying that they had married someone else. I couldn’t imagine the pain and anguish when the person that you loved and trusted, of whom you shared your life with, had found someone else to replace you behind your back.
The ‘best’ part? When he turned into a blame game that well, you were the cause of it. Like, what? There was also another podcast where they had a a cheating spouse sharing his views and though the ladies were understandably angry at how thoughtless this man was at that point of time when he cheated, they didn't shut him down like they still let him share his viewpoints. He acknowledged that he made a mistake and he was still paying for it even though the divorce took place 7 years ago. He didn't deny that he was wrong and because of that, I actually sympathised with him as he regretted his actions and unfortunately, couldn't turn back time but is right now just doing his best as a single dad though it was admittedly tough for him.
So while I do not support his actions, I couldn't help but to wish him the best as compared to the other lady's ex husband who blamed their marriage failure on her just so that he could marry a divorcee. Like the ladies said, it's beyond their comprehension how he took pity on a divorcee and yet made his own wife one too few months after knowing that other woman. Oh, and how that woman also said she prayed to God and He showed her the path that polygamy was not the solution but separating them was.
What? Mindblown. Since when our religion teaches us to wreck someone's marriage? lol..
I also loved listening to podcasts where the people they interviewed were so inspiring and despite the setbacks, they didn't give up and just continue to press on as they work towards a better future for themselves or for their families. It may not be a 100% the kind of life they have envisioned but at the very least, they have less things to worry now and focusing on doing more things that would be beneficial to them.
So we may seem to live in our own comfy world or thinking that we are the only one experiencing problems in life. Everybody has a story to tell. Things can be smooth sailing one day and the next day, it's a bumpy road ahead. You'll never know. But we take it one day at a time. Not everyday will be great but it's also about our attitude towards the things that are happening in our lives. How we manage our feelings and learning to move forward with strength and courage that may have been dormant in us until now.
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