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Rambling Hissing Fit

Alright alright...I shall start blogging for serious today onwards. I have been doing this blogging once a week thingey and it's getting annoying. For me at least.

First of all, I wanna wish my brother a Happy Birthday as of yesterday on Sunday May 25th and you're a big boy now! All 13! I told you it's unavoidable. I wanted to buy him a cake for the longest time and didnt want to be all stingy on that but I decided against it coz..well....my budget's pretty tight this week. Who am I kidding...okay...very the tight. But you see, I bought something else instead. Doughnuts. And though initially my brother kicked up a bit of a fuss earlier this week when I said I would buy him doughnuts instead instead of a cake, in the end, his sensibility kicked in and he was like..Im up for anything. Just as a small gesture, I made him a pop up birthday card of a cake.

I told him I'll make up for it when I get my pay but then later my mum said, dont get cake..just treat him out for dinner like pizza or something. Hrm...maybe, cake doesnt sound so bad. Anyway, that bro of mine had just turned 13 which meant he has stepped into teenagehood...so it wont kill me to do something special for me. It will kill me though years ahead knowing how teenagehood can be all turbulent.

Okay, on to next update. Yes American Idol results was out last Thursday and David Cook won. I did root for David Cook to win also because I dont think the Idol is all about singing as it's about the whole package also. Then again David A was like singing his whole heart out during the finale that I thought hey, it wouldnt hurt to support David A either. And since I have a knack in supporting the underdogs, I changed my mind and decided to root for David A instead. I was impressed by David A's determination to win that night by showing off his vocal prowess but I just felt that something was 'missing' in regards to his performance. I guess he forgot to have fun...or forgot to prance around the stage and get the audience members up on the feet and thinking 'hey i want to vote for you!'. But Im still not going to criticise David A because I dont think his physical appearance has anything to do with his singing talent but then again, it wouldnt hurt for David Cook to..uhm..how do I put this gently....SHAVE!

Seriously, while he was singing, that was like a huge distraction to me!

Well..boo..whatever..David Cook won..and blah blah..may you have a recording career and not end up as a fallen Idol, k? But first, please shave.

Oh, and despite yesterday being my brother's birthday, my mum was in her most foul mood yesterday. And it was triggered with me asking 'whats that?!' when she was stirring something that looked like oats in her drink. I didnt know it was biscuit that she had meshed up in her tea and she went all ballistic. Seriously, looney and ballistic and accusing me of being a kepo or a busybody and her ramblings intensified for more than half an hour and again with the issue of my father came into ramblings.

Trust me, it didnt stop there. Infact in the late afternoon, she began her ramblings again and it turned into a hissing fit with her threatening to kill us both..me and my brother..and she was like showing us a knife and saying that 'do you see this?! I can kill you all!! You are all better off dead! You all are nothing but trouble!' And we didnt do anything like spill a drink or was rude to her or anything but she was blaming us only because we're the offspring of our father who is..well..you know...living in his own world right now.

Im already doing my best to help my family and though Im on a tight budget, I didnt go against her wish of craving to eat something and yet, she was like saying, oh...I cant eat whatever I want. Already Im scrimping on my lunch just so that I could buy them snacks when I got off work and yet I am being blamed for not thinking about the family's need.

I know she's stressed out because of my father but stop putting the blame on us children and accusing us of being a burden to her. I mean both my brother and I are quite used to it and just stayed in my room and let her ramble to herself in the living room while we just gestured among ourselves that well..she's a bit..crazy today. But it does hurt me when she blames my brother and wished that he was not even born and yesterday she was like telling me to go find the form on the internet to put my brother in the home so that she would not have to take care of him anymore. I mean saying that..on his birthday some more...wouldnt it hurt? Of course my brother was like..whatever...but it did sound hurting to me coz the poor boy was not at fault that my mum wanted things done perfectly for him.

Oh well..hopefully today she would calm down a bit and sighz..im off to work. I am trying to psyche myself up that hey, Im going to work to earn money and not be all moody that I dont have so called friends to talk nonsense too. But then again, in my previous work too, every day I would wish myself that I would wrap things up quickly and go home on time so no big difference there actually. Im just simply not cut out for working life.....

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