Okay...
so im back to blogging but it doesnt mean that life is back to normal for me again. It's just that I cant keep away from blogging for long I guess. Plus, I cant keep my fans waiting for long, can i? (as if..)
You know how sometimes in life, you have planned for things to be like this or like this whether in the long term or the short term and then everything goes awry. Im not saying about my dream to become a teacher...has somehow ended....but God gave me something else instead that doesnt let me to directly get involved with the children which I think is a pretty decent move to keep me from being stepped all over. Im a softie in general and I dislike scolding children...unless they are too much and deserve a little scolding as I morph into a big bad wolf. So far, only a handful of children had made me morph into that during my preschool screening days. You know, those spoilt brats kind.
Well, you get some, you lose some...or you dont get anything at all. Of course, at this point of time life truly sucks and the only thing that we can do is just hope for the better and try to lessen the burden a bit.
Like for now, I thought I was going to be in a bit of trouble this week but seems that there is still a bit of hope as I miraculously did not exceed my budget that I had put together for last week. I tried to scrimp as much as I can while not trying to let the rest of my family members suffer so much especially my mum. See, the thing is that my mum knows that Im in pretty bad shape now but unfortunately, she's not being in her usual 'i shall help her' self. Im sorry to say this but she's being selfish. Yes, I have said it. Selfish. Even my brother thinks so. Of course he doesnt say selfish but she keeps pressurizing my brother to use his fifty dollars (which I asked him to keep for emergency..like....maybe soon) to buy for her food from the Indian food stall up the hill. In case you think I dont feed her enough, I do buy her snacks like those fried food on sticks..dunno how else to describe them. She also cook rice (the least amount of cooking that she does) and shares it with my brother together with the chicken nuggets that she baked.
Then my father also buys for her food with the money that he got from his relatives even though it wasnt much. It was just for his usage but he still used it to buy for my mum and brother.
If I try to bring up this topic of her current eating spree, she will give me hell with her nonsensical speech. So I'd rather not do it and just do whatever I can to so called...bear with this burden.
God may give me hardship but He does try to help in little ways that He can. Now Im just hoping He works a little faster in giving me the money from my performance bonus and *fingers crossed*, the damn Power Supply dont demand for the other half of the bill soon enough. They have become such big bad bullies to us nowadays just because they're the only provider for electricity and water. They dont know such a thing called hardship despite the fact they keep on increasing the utilities charges with the excuse that petrol prices have increased.
Now even my own computer is giving me probs though it's not quite a big one. It's merely due to old age which is why one of my plans is to change the graphic cards in the laptop but unfortunately, as you know it, didnt go according to plan. The money I reserved to repair the card has gone into being responsible for putting food on the table.
Despite all this, I do feel thankful that I no longer have to think about how the heck am I going to spend on transport and on food prior to this new job. I try to cut down on tranport costs as much as I can for this new job also by walking out to the main road instead of taking the bus out from my work place. Next, I am going to try to walk in also since I often manage to have at least twenty more minutes before my official starting time for work. I think it is a possibility since it will take me about five to eight minutes only for walking. That is how I managed to spend only ten bucks in a week which is a vast difference back then when I was often travelling as part of my field work.
In terms of food for lunch, I bought a tin of oatmeal and have that for lunch along with two pieces of wholemeal bread and in between, I eat biscuits from the pantry or from my own table. Nobody really cares what I eat which is good even though it will be a little embarassing if they find out what I eat for lunch. Of course, once my financial status is more stable, I will still keep up with this sort of food but I will also try to add in a bit more variety like half of the waffle that I buy sometimes after work from Prima Deli or even with the cheap packet lunch from the school canteen. I no longer experience the headache of choosing what food to eat that is not only cheap but also healthy which, alas, despite my simple request (see..I dont even quote 'delicious' as even part of my food criteria for lunch), it had been pretty hard as well. But now I can afford to eat healthy.
Being on a wholemeal diet has made me feel less bloated and a little bit more body confident even though I think currently, it is merely psychological. But hey, if I keep up with this, it will also show physically and I dont think it's just wishful thinking. Of course I wont abandon real food like how I devoured a small packet of nasi lemak which my father bought for my mum which she could not eat coz he bought two packets of it. I dislike nasi lemak coz anything to do with coconut or deep frying, I try to stay clear for the past two and a half years, but you cant be too harsh on yourself and eating such food four or five times a year is still okay. Heck, even the Health Minister helps himself on the lard laden char kway teow few times a year too. Simply said, you cant keep away from good sinful food all your life.
Alright, judging from this entry, you would have figured out that I have got back my rambling mojo.
Now on to wishing I get my performance bonus..very soon enough.
so im back to blogging but it doesnt mean that life is back to normal for me again. It's just that I cant keep away from blogging for long I guess. Plus, I cant keep my fans waiting for long, can i? (as if..)
You know how sometimes in life, you have planned for things to be like this or like this whether in the long term or the short term and then everything goes awry. Im not saying about my dream to become a teacher...has somehow ended....but God gave me something else instead that doesnt let me to directly get involved with the children which I think is a pretty decent move to keep me from being stepped all over. Im a softie in general and I dislike scolding children...unless they are too much and deserve a little scolding as I morph into a big bad wolf. So far, only a handful of children had made me morph into that during my preschool screening days. You know, those spoilt brats kind.
Well, you get some, you lose some...or you dont get anything at all. Of course, at this point of time life truly sucks and the only thing that we can do is just hope for the better and try to lessen the burden a bit.
Like for now, I thought I was going to be in a bit of trouble this week but seems that there is still a bit of hope as I miraculously did not exceed my budget that I had put together for last week. I tried to scrimp as much as I can while not trying to let the rest of my family members suffer so much especially my mum. See, the thing is that my mum knows that Im in pretty bad shape now but unfortunately, she's not being in her usual 'i shall help her' self. Im sorry to say this but she's being selfish. Yes, I have said it. Selfish. Even my brother thinks so. Of course he doesnt say selfish but she keeps pressurizing my brother to use his fifty dollars (which I asked him to keep for emergency..like....maybe soon) to buy for her food from the Indian food stall up the hill. In case you think I dont feed her enough, I do buy her snacks like those fried food on sticks..dunno how else to describe them. She also cook rice (the least amount of cooking that she does) and shares it with my brother together with the chicken nuggets that she baked.
Then my father also buys for her food with the money that he got from his relatives even though it wasnt much. It was just for his usage but he still used it to buy for my mum and brother.
If I try to bring up this topic of her current eating spree, she will give me hell with her nonsensical speech. So I'd rather not do it and just do whatever I can to so called...bear with this burden.
God may give me hardship but He does try to help in little ways that He can. Now Im just hoping He works a little faster in giving me the money from my performance bonus and *fingers crossed*, the damn Power Supply dont demand for the other half of the bill soon enough. They have become such big bad bullies to us nowadays just because they're the only provider for electricity and water. They dont know such a thing called hardship despite the fact they keep on increasing the utilities charges with the excuse that petrol prices have increased.
Now even my own computer is giving me probs though it's not quite a big one. It's merely due to old age which is why one of my plans is to change the graphic cards in the laptop but unfortunately, as you know it, didnt go according to plan. The money I reserved to repair the card has gone into being responsible for putting food on the table.
Despite all this, I do feel thankful that I no longer have to think about how the heck am I going to spend on transport and on food prior to this new job. I try to cut down on tranport costs as much as I can for this new job also by walking out to the main road instead of taking the bus out from my work place. Next, I am going to try to walk in also since I often manage to have at least twenty more minutes before my official starting time for work. I think it is a possibility since it will take me about five to eight minutes only for walking. That is how I managed to spend only ten bucks in a week which is a vast difference back then when I was often travelling as part of my field work.
In terms of food for lunch, I bought a tin of oatmeal and have that for lunch along with two pieces of wholemeal bread and in between, I eat biscuits from the pantry or from my own table. Nobody really cares what I eat which is good even though it will be a little embarassing if they find out what I eat for lunch. Of course, once my financial status is more stable, I will still keep up with this sort of food but I will also try to add in a bit more variety like half of the waffle that I buy sometimes after work from Prima Deli or even with the cheap packet lunch from the school canteen. I no longer experience the headache of choosing what food to eat that is not only cheap but also healthy which, alas, despite my simple request (see..I dont even quote 'delicious' as even part of my food criteria for lunch), it had been pretty hard as well. But now I can afford to eat healthy.
Being on a wholemeal diet has made me feel less bloated and a little bit more body confident even though I think currently, it is merely psychological. But hey, if I keep up with this, it will also show physically and I dont think it's just wishful thinking. Of course I wont abandon real food like how I devoured a small packet of nasi lemak which my father bought for my mum which she could not eat coz he bought two packets of it. I dislike nasi lemak coz anything to do with coconut or deep frying, I try to stay clear for the past two and a half years, but you cant be too harsh on yourself and eating such food four or five times a year is still okay. Heck, even the Health Minister helps himself on the lard laden char kway teow few times a year too. Simply said, you cant keep away from good sinful food all your life.
Alright, judging from this entry, you would have figured out that I have got back my rambling mojo.
Now on to wishing I get my performance bonus..very soon enough.
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