hello!!
this could be an entry full of hate coz of something that happened this morning but I shall not comment about it right now. Im too tired to say anything thats awful and depressing. Well, just want to wish you a Happy Valentines' Day to all you sweet couple buggers!
by the way..if you notice, I havent been talking about my weight gain anymore. I dont want to cause any complains over how whiny I can get sometimes..hehe..the only thing I can say is that I managed to lose back all 5 kg..and err..not 3kg as stated before because that one was the initial gain. So Im back to my previous weight and if you think that I starve myself to death everyday, thats so wrong. It's always the stay active and control what you eat regime including hands off the snack-a-roos. Thats all. Oh, and stop whining and do something about it..haha..
that aside, do you believe that in karma such as what goes around, comes around? Though it sounds like one cruel twist of fate, maybe it does happen. To me, I just think that one day, people do learn. They will realise that they have been missing out a lot in life and that the mean things they do to people will come back to haunt them eventually. Can you ever forgive the person if she backstabs you or continue to hurt your feelings and taunting you just because you're not cool enough to be in her books? Im the kind of person who doesnt get hurt for long but if I do and get depressed for a period of time, that means my heart had been traumatised badly and causing me so much pain. However, I can forgive except that I can never ever forget. It has been carved into my heart and I cannot remove it no matter how hard I try to forget and pretend that nothing has ever happened.
But.....you do know Im a nice person don't you? Knowing how it is like to be ostracized by friends who once claimed to be my best bud ever and then dumping you after finding other people, I remembered telling myself that I will never ever do that to a friend. I wouldn't say that I wish that the same thing will happen to them eventually but I do wish that things will get better for me. Infact, it did and in the process, I learn that friends dont have to come in cute little packages. They can be raw but their hearts can be as crystal clear as a diamond nevermind if they may wear gawdy clothes or dont hang out with the cool crowds. Plus, they are willing to put your flaws aside and accept you for who you are.
They make me stronger for believing in me and in return, I try my best to be there for them as well and be a good friend under any circumstances.
Sometimes, I feel that it is quite unfair to me that I may be treated badly even though I have never treated the same as that to them. I have no idea as to how I managed to persevere through such challenges even if they can be mentally challenging. But then somehow, I guess it's God's will that things will come around for the better. I can be so used to being treated like dirt or of little importance that when things started to look up for me and the people I get to know later or previously are nice to me, I get wary. I think partly coz Im not used to it but after some time, I would feel that I should 'embrace' these new changes while finally coming out of my hole after giving in to my destiny of never ever being treated nicely or fairly ever.
Forgive me if I made you feel like you're not welcomed or as if I have placed a barrier in between us. I thank you for being patient with me while giving me time to warm up to people and not judge me like other people without knowing the true me. I thank you once again for talking to me...laughing with me...and making me feel like I am not weird or so different from others that you chose to acquintance yourself with them rather than me. And I thank you for not treating me like a little lost girl and pitying me for being in this state no matter how I try to prove to you that Im not as 'lost' as I seem to be.
SO yupz...Happy Friendship Day to you for making Rahayu's day.
this could be an entry full of hate coz of something that happened this morning but I shall not comment about it right now. Im too tired to say anything thats awful and depressing. Well, just want to wish you a Happy Valentines' Day to all you sweet couple buggers!
by the way..if you notice, I havent been talking about my weight gain anymore. I dont want to cause any complains over how whiny I can get sometimes..hehe..the only thing I can say is that I managed to lose back all 5 kg..and err..not 3kg as stated before because that one was the initial gain. So Im back to my previous weight and if you think that I starve myself to death everyday, thats so wrong. It's always the stay active and control what you eat regime including hands off the snack-a-roos. Thats all. Oh, and stop whining and do something about it..haha..
that aside, do you believe that in karma such as what goes around, comes around? Though it sounds like one cruel twist of fate, maybe it does happen. To me, I just think that one day, people do learn. They will realise that they have been missing out a lot in life and that the mean things they do to people will come back to haunt them eventually. Can you ever forgive the person if she backstabs you or continue to hurt your feelings and taunting you just because you're not cool enough to be in her books? Im the kind of person who doesnt get hurt for long but if I do and get depressed for a period of time, that means my heart had been traumatised badly and causing me so much pain. However, I can forgive except that I can never ever forget. It has been carved into my heart and I cannot remove it no matter how hard I try to forget and pretend that nothing has ever happened.
But.....you do know Im a nice person don't you? Knowing how it is like to be ostracized by friends who once claimed to be my best bud ever and then dumping you after finding other people, I remembered telling myself that I will never ever do that to a friend. I wouldn't say that I wish that the same thing will happen to them eventually but I do wish that things will get better for me. Infact, it did and in the process, I learn that friends dont have to come in cute little packages. They can be raw but their hearts can be as crystal clear as a diamond nevermind if they may wear gawdy clothes or dont hang out with the cool crowds. Plus, they are willing to put your flaws aside and accept you for who you are.
They make me stronger for believing in me and in return, I try my best to be there for them as well and be a good friend under any circumstances.
Sometimes, I feel that it is quite unfair to me that I may be treated badly even though I have never treated the same as that to them. I have no idea as to how I managed to persevere through such challenges even if they can be mentally challenging. But then somehow, I guess it's God's will that things will come around for the better. I can be so used to being treated like dirt or of little importance that when things started to look up for me and the people I get to know later or previously are nice to me, I get wary. I think partly coz Im not used to it but after some time, I would feel that I should 'embrace' these new changes while finally coming out of my hole after giving in to my destiny of never ever being treated nicely or fairly ever.
Forgive me if I made you feel like you're not welcomed or as if I have placed a barrier in between us. I thank you for being patient with me while giving me time to warm up to people and not judge me like other people without knowing the true me. I thank you once again for talking to me...laughing with me...and making me feel like I am not weird or so different from others that you chose to acquintance yourself with them rather than me. And I thank you for not treating me like a little lost girl and pitying me for being in this state no matter how I try to prove to you that Im not as 'lost' as I seem to be.
SO yupz...Happy Friendship Day to you for making Rahayu's day.
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