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"i'll make a lousy driver"

my mum has been pressurizing me to take driving courses..and err..........i dont think i'm up to it yet lah..haha..thats sheer laziness talkin' back at ya! yes rahayupopz who is way above the legal age to drive..cant drive for the lurve of humanity...hahahahaha...but i can imagine myself as such a dumbass if i were to drive..i'll be shit man..what do i do?! what do i do?! if i ever come across nasty drivers who just lurve to shake the ass of a female driver...bwahahaahaha...............alrite! shall learn lah...but first i want to thicken up my already thick skin so i can take the vulgarities and the nagging of driving instructors..i know there will be aplenty hurled at me..i can forsee that! plus being half a moron for not being able to hold my concentration for long...it's gonna be a long hard journey ahead. and i haven't even begun driving..

you know what? that's not even half of my worries! Just assuming i miraculously pass and could drive............I could get myself hands tight to the back with these situations.


forseeing myself as an 'extra' careful driver...or rather...'extra' onlie!

Situation 1:

driver behind me: 'woi! fasterlah! don't drive like this is your mother's road! Cho CB...fasterlah!
(horns loudly behind me). This one MUST BE a woman! Muuusssst be a woman!!!!'

driver slowly driving past me....

driver now beside me: 'eh? fuyoh! chio bu ah! *wee weet!* nevermind nevermind..go slow hor! dont hurrie! drive safe safe! by the way this is my number! *shouts his numbers*

Right....that's downrite ridiculous....i mean...pppfft....me driving slow?! what gives?!....(i'll take the chio bu compliment though!)

Situation 2:

Ego man winds down his screen at a red light junction...

E.Man: hey sweetie..nice convertible you've got there. And what a hot driver....wanna race? let's see what you've got..

Me: Whateva. Once a loser..always a loser.

E.Man: So..once the light turns green, we shall race down this road and we shall see who reaches first. Winner has to pay for dinner!

Me: You're crazy..i aint going out with you no matter who pays!

E.Man: Well...i assume you like short guys...and i'm short.

Me: Game on! (thinking: 'gee..how the hell he knows i like short guys?)

Of course..this being my very own made up situation, i win lah! And the guy treated me out and turns out that he is the son of prince charles born out of wedlock and he bought me a ferrari so we could either race home to bed...or be racy in bed.

So you see...i'll be a lousy driver coz there are wolves on the road. I can't whizz by cars or speed up along the long windy road late at nite! I'm bound to attract attention..I'm doomed...........

note: this is just a fun entry influenced by my friend who wrote about her driving woes at times in her blog. Hell...i can't drive but boy can i imagine!

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