My Delusional Self

I know this is a weird way of starting this post but sometimes, I feel like I am delusional. Honestly, January was already rough in terms of money but it wasn't all bad because I got some financial help too. And it was also a crazy month as our office had to move and there were numerous times we had to pack things and we were talking years and years of cluttered things. But in the end, we managed to do so and even after moving in to the new office, we had to do the reverse which was unpacking. Luckily, we all managed to work together fast enough to store all the things. Yet it was still pretty cray cray because I had to go up and down the two levels to hand carry many things as well. 

Now I didn't get delusional over this. I felt I was delusional because part of the move included moving our IT equipments such as the laptops, computers and printers. So the IT guy aka Mr Work Gym guy was part of the group that helped to dismantle and the assemble at our new workstations. I don't know what overcame me but I often caught myself wanting to get his attention and take sneak peeks at what he was doing.

Sidetracking a bit, it took them awhile to assemble mine so I did it myself :) But it was tiring and it took me almost 20 minutes to figure it out, lol.

Anyway, I don't know how true this gut feeling is but I think he's older than the rest of them from his looks and style. He was also the quietest yet most polite like you know this guy hardly speaks. I have not confirmed if he was married by looking at his ring finger such as the other one which I happened to glance at when he was at my workstation. He had never attended to me before to be able for me to confirm but despite that, I felt I was a little friendly to him with my Hello greetings, hehe...but he still greeted back though I could tell like he didn't expect it. So that Friday, when he was walking towards my table before turning the aisle, I told myself do NOT get delusional and do NOT catch his attention unnecessarily. So when I saw him walking towards my table before turning the corner, I didn't look at him.

But I felt bad later..lol.

I kinda chided myself and then when the next opportunity came and he walked that same aisle again towards me, I just looked up towards his direction when I was writing something and he smiled at me...argh..... so I smiled back and said Hello.

So now I feel less as a creep because he initiated first, hehe.

And not just that, I thought that was so sweet as like I said before, he never quite attended to me and even if he did, it was very quick diagnosis and not part of what he was supposed to be there doing. He must be now thinking this girl is so delusional  friendly.

Even with me now fanning over his attention, I don't want to get my hopes too high. It's nice to have the attention of guys for once because honestly, I don't have any guy friends. Ok maybe like one where the last time I talked to was at a friend's wedding last year. I am also not keen in pursuing a relationship but I am girl and I do have moments where I am crushing hard on guys but all this time,   it's always that guy from Sunday's gym so I need a breath of fresh air, lol!

But I don't want to appear so enthusiastic such as fawning over him unnecessarily and trying to catch his attention. I just want to act normal when he is around because I don't want to be my delusional self thinking that he's into me. I still want to be nice to him and the rest of the IT guys because we need them, obviously, haha..and they're nice and friendly people too despite their work. I know it's tough because I took a long time just to re install back my computer and there were many computers that they had to do that day. Not only that, they are coming back on Monday to connect our computers to the network printers and I hope IT guy makes an appearance too..eek! 


Please act normal, Rahayu...( ^ ^)