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Headache and Heartache

My so called birthday bag had already arrived in the mail. As much as I prefer to buy direct from the store instead, sometimes buying online is cheaper also..haha. But quality will have to be compromised a bit especially when it's super cheap. Anyway, I didn't really like the pink colour. It looks rather mouldish looking when I first saw it but the colour is slightly better now. Maybe because it was quite dusty after I took it out? I dunno..
 
Recently I have been experiencing chest pains and it's not something to be ignored because it's obviously health related. But what can I do. I worry about stuffs every day especially money matters. As I've said many many times, it's hard to manage on one single small income. But somehow, I know I will get by.
 
My life line this month comes in the form of my brother's maintenance money of $1k end of this month. So at least there is a bit to survive until the next month. But I have to scrimp because I don't want to spend all. What will my family eat if that happens? It's only for emergency or dry seasons..heh.
 
But all this calculations is driving me insane. How do people cope? I guess they just have to..like you just have to pay bills if you want to continue using your mobile line and internet. I just don't like those unplanned bill payments. Then if you don't pay after a certain date, then they will increase it.
 
Then this Friday, my mum has to go for her medical appointment. I don't think I want her to go but the first time round, she didn't go. Then now she complains of pain so Im just worried too. Anyway I have received her medifund memo which means that we will only pay only half and up to $600. Honestly I don't know how much money I have in my hand right now. It's not that I don't want to know but it's pointless anyway as it is going to give me a headache only because it is going to be spent anyway whether I want to or not. I can't stop my mum from having cravings and I can't just stop buying groceries.
 
Tonight, I need to plan my finances again. I still don't want to know how much I have but I just want to know if I have enough emergency money and also to plan how much to return back if I use the emergency money. But nevertheless, Im still happy this month I got 'extra' pocket money..hehe. I mentioned about my $50 Hari Raya money and then for my birthday, I received two birthday ang paos or red packets. So happy :) At first I wanted to buy something for myself but I think it's ok lah, at this point of time, my family needs the money more. Plus I didn't get the cardigan that I wanted too :(
 
Nevermind, sometimes things happen for a reason. It's just a way for me to believe also that things will get better.
 
 
 
 

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